What is Christian domestic discipline (CDD)?

The family is especially dealt with in the epistles which treat of the Church. Those epistles which take up Church order and rule take up also the order and rule of the family; and those epistles which show the Church as the body of Christ, show also how this relationship, and the principles it involves, affect the family life. Family relationships were instituted by God in Eden, and confirmed after the fall. Christianity does not change their outward character, but infuses into them new and divine principles. The husband is the responsible head of the house, and the mutual obligation subsisting between him and his wife, his children, and his servants, is the subject of the portion now before us. The question is not one of rights on either side, but rather of the way in which each, as having the life of Christ, should exhibit this in his conduct towards the other.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church: and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." (v. 22-24.) Part of the curse pronounced on the woman at the fall was, "Thy desire shall be [subject] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." (Gen. 3:16.) Christianity confirms this order, but so remodels it that all trace of the curse disappears. The subjection of the believer to the Lord, or of the Church to Christ, is no curse or bondage, and these are now the models of wifely subjection; for she is to be subject unto her own husband, "as unto the Lord," and as "the Church is subject unto Christ." How beautiful to see a human relationship, and one too which derives a part of its character from the fall, thus transformed into a type of the mystery in which God displays His "manifold wisdom" unto "the principalities and powers in heavenly places."

The family is especially dealt with in the epistles which treat of the Church. Those epistles which take up Church order and rule take up also the order and rule of the family; and those epistles which show the Church as the body of Christ, show also how this relationship, and the principles it involves, affect the family life. Family relationships were instituted by God in Eden, and confirmed after the fall. Christianity does not change their outward character, but infuses into them new and divine principles. The husband is the responsible head of the house, and the mutual obligation subsisting between him and his wife, his children, and his servants, is the subject of the portion now before us. The question is not one of rights on either side, but rather of the way in which each, as having the life of Christ, should exhibit this in his conduct towards the other.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church: and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." (v. 22-24.) Part of the curse pronounced on the woman at the fall was, "Thy desire shall be [subject] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.'' (Gen. 3:16.) Christianity confirms this order, but so remodels it that all trace of the curse disappears.

The subjection of the believer to the Lord, or of the Church to Christ, is no curse or bondage, and these are now the models of wifely subjection; for she is to be subject unto her own husband, "as unto the Lord," and as "the Church is subject unto Christ." How beautiful to see a human relationship, and one too which derives a part of its character from the fall, thus transformed into a type of the mystery in which God displays His "manifold wisdom" unto "the principalities and powers in heavenly places."

The family is especially dealt with in the epistles which treat of the Church. Those epistles which take up Church order and rule take up also the order and rule of the family; and those epistles which show the Church as the body of Christ, show also how this relationship, and the principles it involves, affect the family life. Family relationships were instituted by God in Eden, and confirmed after the fall. Christianity does not change their outward character, but infuses into them new and divine principles. The husband is the responsible head of the house, and the mutual obligation subsisting between him and his wife, his children, and his servants, is the subject of the portion now before us. The question is not one of rights on either side, but rather of the way in which each, as having the life of Christ, should exhibit this in his conduct towards the other.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church: and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." (v. 22‑24.) Part of the curse pronounced on the woman at the fall was, "Thy desire shall be [subject] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.'' (Gen. 3:16.) Christianity confirms this order, but so remodels it that all trace of the curse disappears.

Fallen man has abused these relationships: the Christian is instructed how to maintain them according to the mind of God, so that, in the family, there may be an expression of the excellencies of Christ — the subjection, the obedience, the love, and the grace — that marked His earthly path.

Wherein lies then the maintenance of God's order in the family? The answer to this question is found in both Ephesians and Colossians. (Eph. 5:22-33, Eph. 6:1-9; Col. 3:18-25, Col. 4: 1.) The husband is the head, and as such has to act as God's viceregent, to govern not according to his, but according to the divine will. The authority put into his hands is from the Lord, and it is his to wield for Him, and it cannot therefore be delegated to another. The wife is in subjection to her husband, even as the Church is subject to Christ, the husband on his part having to love his wife even as Christ loved the Church, and gave Himself for it. The responsibility of children is to obey their parents in the Lord. Their obedience is to be absolute, qualified only by the condition — in the Lord. Servants have likewise to obey their masters, parents and masters having on their side their respective obligations.

Wherein lies then the maintenance of God's order in the family? The answer to this question is found in both Ephesians and Colossians. (Eph. 5:22-33, Eph. 6:1-9; Col. 3:18-25, Col. 4:1.) The husband is the head, and as such has to act as God's viceregent, to govern not according to his, but according to the divine will. The authority put into his hands is from the Lord, and it is his to wield for Him, and it cannot therefore be delegated to another. The wife is in subjection to her husband, even as the Church is subject to Christ, the husband on his part having to love his wife even as Christ loved the Church, and gave Himself for it. The responsibility of children is to obey their parents in the Lord. Their obedience is to be absolute, qualified only by the condition — in the Lord. Servants have likewise to obey their masters, parents and masters having on their side their respective obligations.

V. 21. Fathers are to beware lest they assert their authority in an arbitrary way, and thus estrange the child's affection by any unjust punishment; or dishearten the child by needless fault-finding. They are to seek to exhibit that perfect wisdom of Christ, Who knew how to correct His disciples while retaining their affections (Luke 22:24-30).

These exhortations suppose the Christian household, where all right authority is maintained, but under the Lord, and therefore exercised in a way that is pleasing to the Lord, in a spirit of love.

As has already been indicated, the word in the original is not: "nurture," but "discipline." The Christian father (or mother) has to bring up the children "in the discipline and admonition of the Lord."

How many parents there are today, even Christian parents, who do not discipline their children according to the Scriptures. They think that it is unkind to punish a child and to correct it, or to give it corporal punishment when necessary. This is of course Freudian philosophy but not Biblical instruction. It is actually a lack of love that does not correct and guide a child when it goes wrong, or when it must be compelled for its own sake.

We do not believe in the everlasting whipping system. It only hardens and brutalizes. And we would further add, dear friend, that the father and the mother should be wholly one in the administration of discipline. For a child to have to appeal to one parent to shield him from the other, reveals a condition of things in the domestic circle perfectly shocking to every well-regulated mind. The father and mother should not have a single divergent thought in reference to the system of training. They should appear before their children as one authority, one influence. The firmness of the father and the tenderness of the mother should be so sweetly blended that their joint action might be felt in the entire system of training. But how is all this to be realized? By the parents being much on their knees together before God. This is the true secret of domestic training. If the father and mother do not pray together, they will not act together; and if they do not act together, the education of the children must suffer. May the Lord in His infinite goodness help all Christian parents to discharge aright their high and holy functions so His name may be glorified in the households of His people!