What is a good mother according to the Bible?

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good, and not evil, all the days of her life. She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou exceedest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."

Having seen woman's position in the marriage relationship and in the home, we may now consider her service in this blessed sphere. Much of a woman's time is spent in the home performing the commonplace duties of life. A great service is thereby rendered unto God for Colossians 3:23, 24 says, "whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord . . . for ye serve the Lord Christ." In caring for the needs of her husband and children and in keeping up the home as a place of refreshment, cheer, and shelter in a world of trouble, a woman fills a very important place indeed.

The mother is truly the center and the heart of the home. The attractions of home depend largely upon the attitude and spirit of the wife. The prudent wife who manages her household with wise and thrifty economy and graces the home with love and cheerfulness is a great blessing to her husband and children and to all who enter her home. A husband's success or ruin in life often depends upon his wife's conduct in the home. Many men today owe their position in life largely to the wisdom and sound judgment of their wives.

Conflict proved their weakness (verse 8) "Was there a shield or spear seen among forty thousand in Israel? Their defences were down; they were weaponless! "Then sang Deborah … I arose a mother in Israel" (verse 7). Such as needed today; mothers with a heart for the testimony of God; mothers who bless the Lord; mothers who feel with God.

What a place the mother has in the home. How much she has to do with the children. The father, normally, spends less time with them than the mother who, normally and Scripturally, is the worker at home. How responsible and yet how privileged she is to have such close links with the family in their tender and formative years. What an opportunity for godly mothers to lay a good, Scriptural, and christian foundation in her children.

Our holy and ever gracious Lord, when suspended upon the cruel cross, demonstrated the perfection of His humanity, as beholding His mother standing by in the company of that disciple whom He loved, He put the stamp of His approval upon the blessedness of the natural relationship, saying, "Woman, behold thy son! then saith He to the disciple, Behold thy mother! and from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home." Blessed consideration of our Lord! Oh! you younger believers with believing mothers, cherish them, hearken to their admonishment, for they know what is best for you.

One of the most valuable services of a mother in the home is the training of children. This is her special work since she spends more time with the children than the father and exercises a powerful influence over their lives for good or bad. Notice how often the mother's name is given in the books of Kings and Chronicles in connection with the various kings of Israel. The Spirit of God thus points out to us what was probably the most important factor in the moulding of the character of the men who ruled God's people the influence of the mother.

The foundation of the child's character is laid in the home training and the mother's hand is the instrument which God delights to use in this work. The mother's most important and divinely-appointed work is in the home with her children and she should devote herself wholly to their care, training, and upbringing. If a mother neglects this momentous work in the home or leaves it to others while she seeks to do service for the Lord in other spheres, she leaves her work undone and will surely fail to rightly accomplish someone else's work to which she has not been called. The teaching and training which children receive from their mothers during their young years when sensibilities are tender is most influential upon their whole after life and will leave an impression upon their young, plastic, and receptive minds and hearts which cannot be erased. How important, then, is the work of mothers in the homes. May it not be neglected.

How delicately, how courteously, how gentlemanly John was in addressing this lady. Young brother, young sister, oh be respectful to your mother. Remember, especially you who have been brought up in Christian households, remember you are indebted to your mother especially for your knowledge of God. The wise man in the book of Proverbs says, “Forsake not the law of thy mother” (1:8, 6:20). The mother has so much to do with the family, more than the father does because he is often at his job all day. If he was like me he would be out of the house by six o'clock in the morning nearly every working day of his life, he would not be back sometimes until half past five, sometimes as late as eight o'clock. You do not see much of your family, they are in bed when you go out, they are in bed when you come in, it is the mother who has so much to do with the children, especially in the formative years of their lives. What a blessed thing for the mothers to be in the way of obedience themselves, to the voice of the Lord so that they can, as this mother (we will consider later in 2 John), bring them up “in the admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).

The energy or consistency of the public testimony is often found to be closely connected with, if not absolutely dependent upon, the strength and consistency of the testimony maintained in the household. One may be greatly helped or hindered by the influence which prevails there. History furnishes many examples, and it is not at all overlooked in scripture; for we find the frequent occurrence of the mother's name of the successive kings of Judah; not so with the rulers of the revolted ten tribes. In the New Testament the names of three women are before us in the very closest connection with the entrance into this world of the One who came for the truth of God in fulfilment of the promise made to the fathers. It was said of Timothy that from a child he had known the Holy Scriptures which are able to make wise unto salvation (2 Tim. 3:15); while the aged apostle was persuaded that God's Spirit had set His seal upon the faith and piety of Lois and Eunice, and that faith unfeigned dwelt in Timothy also. The faith which dwelt in those godly women had much to do with the formation and development of Timothy's character. God will acknowledge and use such things wherever they are found; for He is the giver of faith and grace, while a meek and quiet spirit is of great price in His sight.

There are some persons who say, “Let the children grow up; let them get to years of understanding; there are parts of the scriptures which I do not understand myself, and how then can I communicate them to my children?” But, beloved friends, here we have the fact that these holy women of old, Eunice and Lois, took the little babe Timothy, and they sowed in his heart the seeds of a new life, while they communicated to him those holy writings which when he was advanced to the superior knowledge of Christianity he had not to surrender, but still to maintain. They were still to be a guide to him. Therefore we ought and it is a serious responsibility that we should instruct our children in the truths of holy scripture, since they are able to make them “wise to salvation.”

Looking after our children at home involves four things. Firstly, using our eyes to see what is going on. Why, for example, do the children come home at 6pm when school ends at 4pm? If we are not at home ourselves, we may not even know that this is happening. And who are they bringing home with them? What type of friends do they have? If we are at home, we will see these things. Secondly, using our ears. If we are at home we can hear the language they use and, if necessary, say, ‘That kind of language stays outside. You may hear it all day at school or on the street, but we are not going to tolerate it in our home.’ And have we ever been in our son or daughter’s bedrooms and listened to the music they play there? Is that their own business? No, we are responsible for what goes on in our homes. Do we know what music they are downloading? They put on their headphones and we cannot hear a thing. They say, ‘I can’t do my homework without music’, but it would be good to listen to what they are playing and be able to say, if necessary, ‘You should not be listening to that kind of music.’ Thirdly, our own conduct is very important. It speaks much louder than all our words. The youngest child follows us everywhere with their eyes and sees what we are doing. This means mothers are a tremendous influence on them for good or bad. Fourthly, by prayer. What do we do if our children come home in tears because they have had a bad day at school? As we listen to them, we can say, ‘Well, let us pray about it together.’ In doing this we teach them in a very practical way that they can bring everything to the Lord by prayer and supplication. We show them by our own behaviour how they can resolve life’s problems. And as we pray with them they will discover what a difference it makes to the problem. But if mothers are never at home, they cannot do any of these things. Someone else might do it, or not do it. So, looking after the home is not an old-fashioned thing but something God has told us to do for the blessing of our children.

Let us not be afraid to have faith for our children, to lay hold upon God for them before they are able to lay hold upon Him for themselves. People say, A child must believe for himself. You cannot believe for him. Yes, you can in a very real way, as Moses' parents believed for him. Suppose they had not believed for him. Suppose they had said, If he were large enough, he might trust in God; but we must cast him into the river. That would have been the end of Moses as far as human power was concerned. But what a place they put him in! You know how he was taken from the river's brink by Pharaoh's daughter, adopted by her, and then put back under his mother's care until he was of sufficient age to go permanently back to the king's court. Every advantage was given to him; but God's tender care had given him also all the benefit of a mother's love and training in the fear of God and His ways. How diligently that dear mother must have made use of her time! How she must have instilled into his mind the promises of the God of their fathers! How she must have taught that young child that he was identified with those bondsmen who yet were the people of God! How she must have told him of the promises of God, that He would visit them and bring them up out of that land, and give them an inheritance! No doubt she made faithful and diligent use of her opportunities; and, as Pharaoh's daughter said to her (in a higher sense than Pharaoh's daughter meant, she heard another Voice saying,) "Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages." What wages has a faithful mother, if she has spent time and strength and prayers in bringing up her children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord!

The law commanded that honour was to be paid to a mother as well as to a father. In nearly all cases the mothers of the kings of Israel are mentioned as well as the fathers. The wise woman who appealed to Joab as 'a mother in Israel,' was at once listened to. 2 Sam. 20:19. A mother has naturally great influence over her children, whether for good or evil, as Jochebed the mother of Moses, and Jezebel the mother of Athaliah. The children of the virtuous woman arise and call her blessed. Prov. 31:28. Timothy had a faithful mother and grandmother. 2 Tim. 1:5. There are also 'mothers' in the church, who have the Lord's interests at heart in the welfare of the saints, as Paul called the mother of Rufus his own mother also. Rom. 16:13.