What does the "husband of one wife" phrase in 1 Timothy 3:2 mean?

It is a question of government in the assembly; and faithful is the saying: whoever is eager for oversight desires a good or honourable work. Moral qualities, not gifts, are the requisite; and also personal or relative circumstances of good report. Hence to be husband of one wife was sought as well as a character free from reproach. How many evangelists God has deigned to bless, who had once been shameless sinners in violence or in corruption! Not such could the overseer be. Again, if a man had more than one wife, he was (not to be then refused fellowship; for many a Jew or Gentile so situated might believe the gospel; but) ineligible to be a holy guardian of order according to God among the saints. Self-restraint and moderation and modesty or good order were sought in one set over the rest: else the appeal to others must be undermined by his own shortcomings. It was also of moment that active love should be proved in hospitality, as well as intelligence or aptitude to teach, if one were not necessarily a teacher. Yet sitting over wine, and the quarrelsome character it breeds, could not be tolerated for this work, but a gentle uncontentious spirit, free from the love of money, and used to rule well his household, with children subject in all gravity. For there too practical inconsistency would be fatal; and so much the more, as God's assembly needs far more care than one's own house.

In early days persons were brought in to the confession of Christ who had been Pagans, and trained up in its habits. Some of these had more than one wife. A true and gifted Christian one might be; but if such were his unhappy position, he was precluded from exercising formal oversight. The evil of polygamy could not be corrected at that time by strong measures. (Since then in Christendom it is dealt with as criminal.) To dismiss his wives would be wrong. But the Holy Spirit by such an injunction applied a principle which was destined to undermine, as in fact it did undermine, polygamy in every form. There was a manifest censure conveyed in the fact, that a man with two or more wives could not be set in the charge of elder or deacon. A man was not refused as a confessor of Christ, nor was he forbidden to preach the gospel, because such might have been his sad circumstances at home. If the Lord called him by His grace, or gave him as a gift to the church, the church bowed. But an elder or bishop was to be one that not only had a suitable gift for his work, but also in the family or in his circumstances must be free from all appearance of scandal on the name of the Lord. He must have a good report, and be morally irreproachable in himself and his household. There might be trial or sorrow, — few families were without both; but what is spoken of here is something that damaged the public repute of the assembly. For this very reason the grand point for local oversight was moral weight. It was not only the ability to inform, counsel, or rebuke, but in order to do all this efficiently a certain godly influence proved at home and abroad. In the practical difficulties with which an elder or bishop would be called to interfere continually in an assembly, there should never be room for those whose conduct might be in question to point to flaws in his own home, or in his own open life and spirit. Thus wisely and holily did the Spirit demand that he should be a person of good report himself, that neither past ways nor present habits should in the least degree compromise the office; and again, with a stainless reputation as well as a man of some spiritual experience in his family — "one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil." These things would not apply to a man's ministry in the word. A Christian may begin to preach almost as soon as he believed the word of truth, the gospel of salvation; but for one to be clothed with a public and responsible place as elder in an assembly is another thing altogether.

As to his character, an overseer is simply to be thoroughly Christian: these same characteristics ought to be seen in all saints. But added to this, he must be an elder man, a man of some experience, the husband of one wife, and apt to teach.

The word for "vigilant" here is more correctly sober or circumspect, while that for "sober" in the Authorized Version has the force of "a sound mind." His behavior is to be orderly, and in his home he is to practice hospitality. Having one wife would evidently indicate that he must be proven in family life. Doubtless many were converted in those days who had more than one wife. This would disqualify them from the place of an overseer, even though the grace of God had wrought mightily in their souls. For there had been a basic character displayed of insensibility to God's order even in creation. This was not to be ignored even after conversion, as to governmental matters. In such cases problems would no doubt arise that would call for real exercise of soul, as to what must be done, but Scripture gives no instruction as to what a man must do who had already married two wives.

The overseer had to be blameless, “the husband of one wife.” In a polygamous country, as existed in Apostolic times, it was ordained that any who held office in the Church of God should have only one wife. It does not evidently mean that if a man lost his wife that his re-marriage would render him unfit for office. The Greek we understand is plain, and the rendering in English correct, “the husband of one wife.”

Moral qualities and circumstances in accordance with them are here as elsewhere insisted on for elders. "If any one is blameless (or, unaccused)." How censure others, if open to it himself? "Husband of one wife." If married, he must have but one wife; for many heathen had several, that is, at one time; and Jews discarded a wife with facility when they liked another more. "Having children faithful, not under charge of excess (or, profligacy), or unruly." Next to personal probity stands family relationship; and as plurality of wives would bar (whatever the suitability in other respects), so too a disreputable offspring. How could he rule the house of God, who had already and manifestly failed in his own home?

The moral character of the elder must be above reproach. He must be the husband of one wife, a qualification that would have special application to those emerging from heathenism with its polygamy. A converted man, though not to be rejected because he had more than one wife, would be unfitted for oversight. Moreover, such an one was to be sober in judgment, discreet in his words, decorous in behaviour, hospitable. He was to be apt to teach, not necessarily implying that he was gifted as a teacher, but that he had aptness to help others in their spiritual exercises. He was not to be a person given to excess in wine or violence in action; on the contrary he was to be mild, avoiding contentions and free from covetousness.

(Vv. 4, 5). Moreover, he was to be one who ruled his house well, having his children in subjection — exhortations that clearly indicate that the overseer was to be an elder, not only married and possessing a home, but having children.

The work of the overseer is learned from Paul's statement in Acts 20:28: "Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Spirit hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God , which He hath purchased with His own blood." The Holy Spirit called them into this work, for He is the great administrator in the church. Each local church had not one overseer or bishop, but a number of them, showing that the authority was not vested in one person only (Phil. 1:1). If anyone desired the office of an overseer, he desired a good work. It is a good work to exercise loving and patient care over souls which are beloved of God, and so dear to Him, who purchased them by His own blood. Such a desire would be the result of the Spirit of God, who laid the work of an overseer upon the heart. Paul then gives Timothy the qualities which a bishop or overseer must have. He must be blameless, that is as to his moral character irreproachable, with nothing whatever against him. "He must be the husband of one wife." This has been explained as excluding all who had been married twice. This is incorrect. It may refer to those who were as pagans married to more than one woman, for polygamy was practiced among the heathen in that day, as it is still. Converted to Christianity these pagans were in an unhappy condition, and on account of it could not exercise oversight in a local church.

For this he must be "blameless," having a character that cannot be called in question. In family life he must be basically reliable. Many had at that time, before conversion, married two or more wives. This disqualified them for such work, for it ignored God's basic order in creation, and if one is to help in maintaining order, he must be a proper example of order in his own life and in family life: his children were to evidence subjection to order.

Let us now see what these elders were, and their qualifications. "This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desires a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; one that rules well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (for if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the Church of God?) Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil" (1 Tim. 3:1-7). It is clear that they were to be men of ascertained moral and spiritual weight, in the Assembly. Each was to be "the husband of one wife." Of course this was necessary, for polygamy was common then, and a man might have more than one wife before he was converted, and afterwards could not put them away, but it would preclude him from this office.

Having said so much, we may look at the character here presented of one who should be appointed to watch over the saints. He must be unblameable, having a family well brought up according to God's mind*; the same ruling of the household as in 1 Timothy, for this must precede care of the church. The expression "steward of God" is a remarkable one, for even in this world a wise man of property will not employ a steward unless he has an irreproachable character, the charge being one of great responsibility and honour. The rest of verse 7 denotes a true command of himself, not carried away by the senses, not hot-tempered, not given to wine, to fighting, or to gain: a man who is not all these things is a steady person.

*Of course it is understood that "the husband of one wife" refers to the man being free of Gentile polygamy. A polygamist might be converted, but he was disqualified as to overseership.