What does the Bible teach about marriage?
Answered from the commentary of William J. Hocking, F. A. Hughes, J. T. Mawson and 19 others
Marriage is an institution of God, established in Eden before sin entered; it did not spring from man's mind but from the heart of God, and the fall did not set aside its holy character. Its pattern is fixed in Genesis 2:24: a man leaves father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and the two become one flesh, so that a new household is founded and the wife becomes his chief care.
From the beginning this meant one man and one woman, so bigamy and polygamy are absolutely unscriptural. The many wives of Lamech, Abraham, Jacob and Solomon were not God's will; He bore with them because of the hardness of men's hearts, and they brought only distress.
Because God Himself joins the two, man has no authority to put them asunder. Marriage is binding for life, and this holds for every marriage, not only Christian ones. In Matthew 19 the Lord set aside Moses' allowance of divorce, which was a concession to hard hearts and never a command, and recalled marriage to God's order at the beginning. He left one cause, fornication. This is explained not as a true exception but as the bond already broken by sin, so that putting away for any other cause and marrying again is adultery. One adds that even adultery can be forgiven upon honest confession and need not end in divorce.
God hates putting away, and the levity of divorce is a mark of moral corruption that flows from departure from God. Within marriage the bed is undefiled and physical union is God's gift, while all intercourse outside it is fornication or adultery, which God will judge.
Marriage is honourable in all, and forbidding to marry is a doctrine of demons. For that reason, asceticism and enforced clerical celibacy are condemned. Even so, remaining unmarried for the Lord's sake is the better path for those to whom it is given; it is a gift, never a law, and marriage remains the normal thing. Most hold marriage to be good, as every divine institution is. A single voice goes further and places it on relatively low ground, as allowed rather than intrinsically good.
Above all, marriage was instituted by design, and not as a convenient illustration, to be a type of Christ and the church. That is why Ephesians 5:31-32 quotes Genesis and calls it "a great mystery." That word gives no ground for making marriage a sacrament.
The husband's duty is therefore summed up in love, measured by Christ, who loved the church and gave Himself for it. It shows itself in nourishing and cherishing his wife as his own body and in not being bitter against her. The wife's part is to submit to her own husband as unto the Lord, because he is her head as Christ is head of the church. This subjection does not mean inferiority, and it stops where a husband would require what is sinful. The husband is told to love her, not to enforce her submission; where he truly loves, she finds it easy to submit.
For believers, marriage is to be "only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39). Nearly all apply 2 Corinthians 6:14 to forbid marrying an unbeliever, though one reads that verse as speaking properly of fellowship in the things of God. Even so, a believer already married to an unbeliever is not to leave the marriage.
Finally, marriage belongs to this age only: in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels.
Verses: Genesis 2:18, Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4, Matthew 19:5, Matthew 19:6, Ephesians 5:22, Ephesians 5:23, Ephesians 5:24, Ephesians 5:25, Ephesians 5:26, Ephesians 5:27, Ephesians 5:28, Ephesians 5:29, Ephesians 5:30, Ephesians 5:31, Ephesians 5:32, Ephesians 5:33, Genesis 1:27, Genesis 1:28, Genesis 2:21, Genesis 2:22, Genesis 2:23, Mark 10:6, Mark 10:7, Mark 10:8, Mark 10:9, Matthew 19:8, Matthew 19:9, 1 Corinthians 7:2, 1 Corinthians 7:10, 1 Corinthians 7:11, 1 Corinthians 7:39, Hebrews 13:4, Colossians 3:18, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:1, 1 Peter 3:2, 1 Peter 3:3, 1 Peter 3:4, 1 Peter 3:5, 1 Peter 3:6, 1 Peter 3:7, Proverbs 18:22, Proverbs 31:10, Proverbs 31:11, Proverbs 31:12, Proverbs 31:13, Proverbs 31:14, Proverbs 31:15, Proverbs 31:16, Proverbs 31:17, Proverbs 31:18, Proverbs 31:19, Proverbs 31:20, Proverbs 31:21, Proverbs 31:22, Proverbs 31:23, Proverbs 31:24, Proverbs 31:25, Proverbs 31:26, Proverbs 31:27, Proverbs 31:28, Proverbs 31:29, Proverbs 31:30, Proverbs 31:31, Proverbs 5:18, Proverbs 5:19, Ecclesiastes 9:9, Malachi 2:14, Malachi 2:15, Malachi 2:16, Song of Solomon 8:6, Song of Solomon 8:7, 1 Corinthians 13:4, 1 Corinthians 13:5, 1 Corinthians 13:6, 1 Corinthians 13:7, 2 Corinthians 6:14, Exodus 20:14, Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 19:14, Ruth 1:16, Ruth 1:17, Revelation 19:7, Revelation 19:8, Revelation 19:9, Titus 2:3, Titus 2:4, Titus 2:5, 1 Timothy 3:2, 1 Timothy 5:14, Matthew 5:31, Matthew 5:32, Romans 7:2, Romans 7:3, Ecclesiastes 4:9, Ecclesiastes 4:10, Ecclesiastes 4:11, Ecclesiastes 4:12, John 2:1, John 2:2, John 2:3, John 2:4, John 2:5, John 2:6, John 2:7, John 2:8, John 2:9, John 2:10, John 2:11, Matthew 22:30
The above is AI generated summary based on the writers below.
What the commentators say
The passages the answer is drawn from, the most direct first, with the words that bear on the question marked.
Marriage. — Now marriage was God's provision for His creatures, — instituted before the Fall; continued by God after it; upheld as inviolable by Him before the law (Gen. 12:17, 20:3); guarded by express enactments under the law (Ex. 20:14, 17); its sanctity being reaffirmed by the Lord (Matt. 19:3-9); and its honourable estate for all declared by New Testament revelation (Heb. 13:4). Much must Adam have felt that he had lost of temporal enjoyment through the Fall. This blessing, however, was preserved to him, and to his descendants, as God's original institution for the happiness and welfare of His human creatures on earth.
Marriage possesses the unique feature of being an institution established by God from the very beginning of human history. God's authority is, therefore, behind the prominent place it occupies in man's social life. The first marriage was ordained in the Garden of Eden for the increase of Adam's comfort and the consummation of his bliss.
But the Lord makes it transparently clear that the basic, original order in creation is not to be changed, but affirmed by the truth of the kingdom of heaven. God, in creating both male and female, made a marked distinction between them, but in marriage indicated a unity of vital character. Because of God's manifest order in creation it was right that a man should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. This verse settles many questions. First, when marriage takes place, the man (or woman) is no longer in the place of subjection to parents. Secondly, he cleaves to his wife:--only one wife, so that bigamy and polygamy are absolutely unscriptural. Cleaving to his wife involves genuine love for her, and faithfulness and devotedness.
The two are then recognized before God as being "one flesh." It is God Himself who has joined the two together. Therefore man has no authority to divorce them. Governments today of course ignore God's decree in this matter, but the word of God will not change to accommodate men's preferences. Marriage was from the beginning intended to be a binding agreement so long as both individuals remain alive.
According to God's will marriage is indissoluble. The Lord Jesus says this clearly in Matthew 19:6: "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." This not only applies to marriages made "in the Lord," but to every marriage. Already in the Old Testament God had said to the Jews who were divorced from their wives, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away" (Mal. 2:16).
As well as God's seeking to impress on us the reality of the relationship of Christ and the church, however, He is showing how close is the unity of husband and wife in God's sacred ordinance of marriage. Today this has been terribly violated by the selfish independence of both men and women, but God's word is plain, "For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (v.24). Thus God established marriage as the first of human relationships, and He makes it clear for all succeeding generations that a man should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. It is just as evident that the woman should leave her parents to become fully devoted to her husbands. The word "cleave" is beautiful here. It involves the reality of love, of devotedness and of faithfulness.
From the beginning God's thought of marriage was one wife for one man. The man was to cleave to his wife, not to his wives. Its true that many Old Testament believers had more than one wife, but this was contrary to God's word, though He bore with it because of the hardness of men's hearts. Only in the New Testament was this corrected by the Lord Jesus, together with the question of divorce (Mt.19:9). Of course in the world today bigamy, polygamy, adultery and divorce are widespread. Only among Christians can we expect the true character of marriage to be maintained, and this should surely be the case since believers have known the living reality of the grace of God revealed in the person and work of their Lord and Savior, though too many believers also have succumbed to the attacks of the enemy in this matter, sadly failing in their Christian testimony.
Verse 4. "Let marriage be honourable in all,"* etc. God's primal institution must be honoured by His worshippers. A Christian might renounce the privilege, if, by doing so, he thought to be more free to serve the Lord. It was even better to be single, where God's adjustment of His gifts made celibacy no hard burden to the flesh (1 Cor. 7). But whoever married in the Lord assumed an honourable place. How this verse condemns beforehand the bold wickedness of that apostasy which wrongs God doubly, first, by its lying invention of clerical distinction, and then, by degrading emphatically what God pointedly extols, has been often noticed by the simple reader of the word. Those who, instead of honour, chose dishonour, God would judge.
It seems pretty clear that in this passage the word, "virgin" is used as covering the unmarried of either sex. The Apostle's teaching may be summarized in this: that marriage is good, as is every divine institution; it is wholly right and permissible; yet that to remain in the unmarried state is better, if it is maintained in order to be more wholly at the Lord's disposal for His interests. If such do not "attend upon the Lord without distraction," their celibacy may only cast a snare upon them.
But it is in the Ephesian epistle that marriage is put on the highest plane, and there we learn that when God instituted it at the first He had Christ and the church in view. It was to be a figure of that which is so much greater. Ephesians 5:22-33 scarcely requires any explanation, but it should be noted that in bringing the blessed truth of Christ and His church before the saints the Holy Spirit says much about the marriage tie. The wife will find her joy in submitting to her husband, as the church to Christ, and the husband will find his delight in loving his wife as Christ the church. What a standard is this! Who can tell the depth of Christ's love to the church or the minuteness and persistence of His care for her?so ought men to love their own wives, nourishing and cherishing them as Christ the church. And remember there is not an exhortation in Scripture that may not be carried out. It may be impossible with men, but it is possible with God, and His grace is equal to all our need.
Therefore, confirming what was implicit in creation, the Lord adds, "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and who so marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." The one exception allowed here is because the marriage bond has been so violated as to be virtually broken already. If the one party is guilty of fornication, then it would not be adultery for the other party to divorce the first and marry another. But the one who married the party put away for fornication would be guilty of adultery.
Now the same lawgiver who sanctioned divorces had, in a previous part of the Pentateuch, made known the original institution of marriage, in which there was no clause permitting divorce. Both portions (Deut. 24:1; Gen. 2:23-24) were God's Word. The former was a provision "for the hardness of their hearts," and doubtless often made use of without the qualifying ground therein stated, "Because he has found some uncleanness in her" (Deut. 24:1). The latter (Gen. 2:24) taught the sacredness and the real character of the tie. This latter was God's original institution. The tie, except for fornication (Matt. 19:9), should be held inviolable. "What God has joined together let not man put asunder" (Mark 10:9) is the Lord's declaration about matrimony. We are thus taken back to its original institution, and are reminded of the light in which God regards it — two made one flesh, whom He has joined, and whom therefore man should not sever.
Verses
- Genesis 2:18And Jehovah Elohim said, It is not good that Man should be alone; I will make him a helpmate, his like.
- Genesis 2:21–2421And Jehovah Elohim caused a deep sleep to fall upon Man; and he slept. And he took one of his ribs and closed up flesh in its stead. 22And Jehovah Elohim built the rib that he had taken from Man into a woman; and brought her to Man. 23And Man said, This time it is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh this shall be called Woman, because this was taken out of a man. 24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
- Matthew 19:4–64But he answering said [to them], Have ye not read that he who made [them], from the beginning made them male and female, 5and said, On account of this a man shall leave father and mother, and shall be united to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh? 6so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.