What does Jesus say about friendship?

(Vv. 12, 13). Thirdly the new company is characterized by love. It is not only loved, but is a company that loves, for this is the Lord's command, "That ye love one another as I have loved you." This love is not to be after a human pattern, which oft-times is a selfish love; but a love that has no less standard than the Lord's love to us, a love in which there is nothing of self, for the Lord can say, "Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Here death is viewed, not in its atoning character, but, as the supreme expression of love. Earthly love is often drawn out by something in its object that is lovable. Divine love rises above all our weaknesses and failures and loves in spite of so much that is unlovely. Such is the love of Christ, and such is the love that we should cherish toward one another. A love that is not indifferent to failures and blemishes, but, rising above all that is unlovely, serves its object even to making the greatest possible sacrifice — the laying down of life for a friend. As one has said. "No greater proof of love can be given; no higher standard set."

(Vv. 14, 15). Fourthly the Christian company is a trusted company enriched with the confidences of Christ and the secret counsels of the Father's heart. The Lord treats His own not merely as servants, to whom directions are given, but as friends to whom secrets are communicated, for the Lord can say, "All things that I have heard of My Father I have made known to you." It is not indeed that the disciples were not servants of Jesus Christ (2 Peter 1:1: Jude 1; Rom. 1:1). But they were more than servants, they were friends, and, if "the privilege of being servants is great, that of being friends is greater." The servant, as such, "knows not what His Lord does." He only knows the task allotted to him, and is only given the needed direction for its performance. The servant who is treated as a friend knows more; he is told the secret purpose of His Master for which the work is undertaken. And yet more, for a friend is one to whom we speak of our affairs knowing they will be of deepest interest to him though not directly concerning him. Thus it was that God treated Abraham — the man who is called the friend of God — He says "Shall I hide from Abraham the thing that I do?". But again we see that obedience to the Lord's commands secures the place of a friend, as before it retained the enjoyment of love. We shall know little of the counsels of the Father's heart unless we walk in obedience to the Lord's commands. Being in the path of obedience the Lord treats us as friends by the confidences to which He admits us, communicating to us all that He has heard of the Father.

In John 15 the Lord calls His disciples His friends, revealing to them the two leading principles of this relationship: obedience (“Ye are My friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you,” verse 14) and communion (“I have called you friends: for all things that I have heard of My Father I have made known unto you,” verse 15).

374 "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends; ye are my friends if ye do whatsoever I command you." He does not say He is the friend of sinners here; He speaks of their being His friends if they did what He commanded. Still our responsibility. He is treating them with perfect confidence. The true disciple He treats with the confidence of being His friend, otherwise He was betraying the confidence of His Father in telling His secrets. If I go to a person on a matter of business, I merely tell him my business, and have done with him; but if I go to a friend, I can tell him all that is on my own mind, even about what does not concern him at all, having full confidence in his love and his interest in what concerns me. "Henceforth I call you not servants but friends, for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you." Whatever I have had in my heart I have told you. What a place He sets us in! How we ought to hate ourselves for the constant way in which self hinders us from this blessed place of enjoyment. But what a comfort to the restored soul it is to find, that when we have learnt totally to distrust ourselves, Christ strengthens us and trusts us. He did so to Peter by those three questions - "Lovest thou me?" When Peter replies, You know, Lord, that I love you, He puts confidence in him, and says, "Feed my sheep; feed my lambs." But until all that is in us is perfectly humbled, He cannot put trust or confidence in us. How could He do it, when we cannot trust ourselves?

Now if His life had been the continual expression of this love, His death was still more so. He could not have greater love than to die for them. We must notice here that it is not the love of God to poor sinners, a love purely divine and sovereign, but the love of Christ for His friends. Neither is it Christ, who is here the Friend, but the disciples who are His friends, those in whom He has confidence: "Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." We communicate to a friend all that we have upon the heart, because we count upon the interest he bears to us. Christ had communicated to the disciples all that He had heard from the Father. There is the action of the human mediator, the vine with the branches. It is important to remark that He does not here place His disciples in His own relationship with the Father - that will be developed later on - but He communicated to them as from Himself all that He enjoyed. The relationship was with Himself, as He personally had been in it with the Father down here. It is in this relationship of intimacy in which He was with them, faithful in keeping His words, that He looks upon them when He lays down His life for them.

Greater love none has than to lay down his life for his friends. The love of God in Jesus went infinitely beyond this; but then necessarily it stands alone, and it is meet that it should. We ought to lay down our lives for the brethren, as we are taught elsewhere. But where is the worth of such a theory if we fail in everyday going out of heart to common wants and sufferings of God's children (1 John 3:17-18)? The Lord at once binds love up with obedience, without which it is but self-pleasing, not having Him in it or before the soul. "Ye are My friends if ye do what (ever) I command you." It is not reconciling enemies He speaks of, but why He calls us His friends. Obedience is the character and condition. Nor does He here indicate how He stood as our friend when we were enemies, but He calls us His friends if we practise what He enjoins on His disciples.291

Is this all? Far from it. He treats us as friends according to His perfect love, for He lets us into His secrets, instead of merely pressing our duty. "No longer do I call you bondmen, for the bondman knoweth not what his Lord doeth; but you I have called friends, because all things whatsoever I heard from my Father I made known to you." He who of old was called "the friend of God" enjoyed this intimacy with his Almighty protector in the midst of the doomed races he lived amongst, a separated and circumcised pilgrim; and so it is with His own now that the Lord deals in still more lavish grace; for what did He keep back? In another sense it is our boast to be His bondmen, as one said who was pre-eminently separated to the Gospel of God. But none the less — indeed, very much more truly — do we enter in, and value and act on the free communication of His love if we are habitually obedient, as we may see in Joseph of old or in Daniel later. It ought to be, it is in principle, the cherished privilege of the Church thus to know His mind, and by it to interpret the tangled web of human life or even the world's changing fortunes; but practically we must be exercised and constant in obedience if the privilege is to be a living reality and not a bare title. Christendom has given it up, counting it nothing but presumption, and content to walk by sight, not by faith, in denial of its privilege.

John 15:14-15. In the 14th verse He shows us that obedience brings us into the wondrous position of being "friends of Jesus." Think of this! What is it to be a friend of Jesus? A friend is one on whom I depend: on whose sympathy I count; to whom I can confide all the secrets of my heart, and disclose the motives of my actions. Such a friend is Jesus to us, and such a friend would He have each of us be to Him. Jesus wants a friend, and He goes to you and asks you to be His friend. Will you be a friend to Him? Then show your willingness by obedience to His will. How can two walk together except they be agreed? And is He not much better able to choose the right way than you are? The difference between my servant and my friend is, that to my servant I give my command without assigning a reason: but to my friend I tell my wishes and also my motives, and this is just how Jesus treats us, as He tells us in the 15th verse. "Henceforth I call you not servants: for the servant knoweth not what His Lord doeth; but I have called you friends: for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you."

In the 18th and following verses Jesus shows them (the consequence of what He had been telling them) their treatment by the world. He had been telling them that obedience would bring them into the path of much blessing: it would be the source of their fruit bearing; of bringing glory to the Father; the source of successful prayer; of their dwelling in the full enjoyment of His love; of their enjoying brotherly love amongst themselves, and, finally, of their being His friends. In mentioning this last result He would make known to us that not only are we more blessed and happy, by walking in His ways, but that He is the gainer also, for Jesus loves to have the friendship of His people. But He then faithfully reminds them that they cannot be His friends and be loved by the world, "The friendship of the world is enmity to God." Once take Jesus' part against the world and shew yourself to be His friend, and the world will hate you, just as it does Jesus. Just as far as you manifest on whose side you are, so far you may expect it to treat you as it treated Him. Which will you have? Jesus, or the world? You cannot have both. It may be that you will have to meet the world in those nearest and dearest to you. I care not in whom the spirit of the world's opposition may be found, it may be the father, the husband, the brother, the friend you prize most on earth, and you think you must follow their will first. But you have a Father, a husband, a friend in heaven and His will you are bound to follow first. Not first the earthly and then the heavenly, but first the heavenly and then the earthly. His love is a love that had no beginning and can have no ending. "Greater love," He, Himself tells us, "hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." His love has been proved to be limitless. Which of your earthly friends has ever given you such a proof of their love? Would they ever do it? Ah no! Then yield yourselves to Him. Who loves you best; be His friend; walk in His ways, and you will truly find that "His paths drop fatness."

But one thing that stands out in the chapter and arrests by its attractiveness is the friendliness of our Lord and the wisdom of that friendliness. There was a circle at Bethany where He was free and at home, it was He who said, “Our friend Lazarus,” not your friend, or My friend, but “our friend.” The disciples were included in that happy circle. Where friendship is true and real there is no restraint and a friend may be better than a brother. Certainly this “Friend who loves at all times” “sticks closer than a brother.” We do not reveal our secrets to strangers, but to a friend whom we love and trust we tell our inmost thoughts and unburden our cares. The basis of friendship is confidence and love.

Now this true friendship prevailed at Bethany. Jesus was the Centre of it and bound them all together in its blessed bonds. He was the Friend of them all, so that when Lazarus fell sick the sisters did not delay, they sent to Him at once. They did not send to Peter or to John to plead with the Lord on their behalf, but to Himself direct. They had no question in their hearts as to His interest in them—He was their Friend, they could tell Him of their trouble, and were sure of His sympathy. It may be that they expected His immediate aid. Certainly He was a long way off, at least two days’ journey, but He had been just as far away from the nobleman’s dying son in Galilee, and had spoken the word only, and from that hour the fever left him and he began to mend (ch. 4); and he was a stranger, while Lazarus was His friend.

The self-righteous religionist always did and always will murmur against the grace of God, but what folly is this, for where should the doctor be but among the folk that are sick, and where should the great Saviour be but among sinners. It was for this He came — to call sinners to repentance. We are glad that His foes called Him "the Friend of sinners"; they gave Him a name that shines out with an imperishable lustre and countless multitudes will rejoice in the glory of God for ever because He befriended every individual soul of them, when apart from Him they were hopeless and lost.

He spoke of “My friends.” Judas betrayed Him with a kiss. “Friend,” the Lord addressed him, “for what purpose art thou come?” A friend is someone for whom one gives up one’s life (John 15:13). Could He not call them friends when He came to die for them? That is divine love. But what did He find with them? “He came to His own,” for the house of His friends is His own house, “and His own received Him not” (John 1:11). Much worse! They pierced His hands and His feet! We cannot imagine what such a love must have felt when faced with the satanic hatred of man.

The disciples of the Lord Jesus were greatly favoured in being called His friends. Previously He had spoken of them as His sheep, and in resurrection He would call them His brethren, but now He says, "Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what His Lord doeth; but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you." Great as was the privilege of being servants of the Lord, this place of friendship was higher, for it brought them into nearness and intimacy with the Son of God, where He made known to them the most wonderful secrets possible for men to know.