What does it mean to train up a child in the way he should go (Proverbs 22:6)?

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (v. 6). Such training requires decided discipline, including inflicting physical pain, from which we shall not shrink if we love our child. The supervisor of a home for children was shocked when a boy told him, "You love your own boy more than you love me." He felt he had treated all the boys fairly, so asked this boy why he said this, and received an answer that surprised him: "You spank your own boy, and you don't spank me." Children are often very discerning of such things. The good results of training may not be seen very early in the child's life, but "when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Early training, whatever the exceptions, has its good result. Train up the lad according to his course; and when he is old, he will not depart from it. So it was with Isaac thus trained by his father. Solomon's course was a much more chequered one, though we may hope there was repentance.

Here we have, clearly, designed, sharp contrast with what had been God's own testimony as to Abraham's household. Evil has thus its law and order, we may be assured, as good has. "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Train him up for the world, and can you marvel if your work be as successful?

A few of the warnings of Scripture will but fortify the above conclusions. The most solemn one is perhaps that of Eli; and it is all the more solemn from the fact that personally he was such a pious and devoted man. In all Scripture a more godly man than Eli could scarcely be discovered. The Lord, and the Lord's things, had the chief place in his heart; and yet, alas! weak in his affections, he utterly failed to maintain his parental (as well also as his priestly) authority. "His sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not"; and his failure, all the greater from the position he occupied as the high-priest, brought down upon him the sure and swift judgment of God. Samuel seems to have failed in the same way, for the complaint of the children of Israel was that his sons did not walk in his ways, and the Spirit of God records that they did not. (1 Samuel 8:3.) But this, it may be said, was due to their own perversity. True that they were perverse; still the Scripture says, "Train up a child in the way he shall go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." If, therefore, the children of godly parents do not follow them in their walk, it is because they have not been trained up in the way they should go, whatever diligent efforts may have been put forth to this end. There could not be failure on God's side.

Surprise is not infrequently expressed by onlookers at the spectacle of young people becoming notorious in ungodliness, and yet springing from eminently godly homes; and it is sometimes suggested — in agreement with the arguments and insinuations of Job's three friends — that the explanation must be that there has been grave sin, or at least grave defect in training, on the part of the parents. If, however, what we have just stated be remembered, as also that it is frequently just those who left unconverted would have been the greatest of sinners, that converted become the most devoted of saints, no surprise need be felt. The children have inherited from their parents the Adamic nature with, probably, an emphasis laid on some particular ugly feature or features which, but for the grace of God, would have been to the fore in the case of their parents; and so they will continue until grace intervenes also with them.

But these meditations were supposed to be on the relation of parent to child, and I seem to have forgotten that entirely. What is the lesson for us in this aspect? I think it is this: "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Prov. 22:6). He may wander from the path for a time in self-will, and yield to the flesh: but when he is old, the Lord will bring him back to the early training, and he will walk in "the way he should go." I think, I hope, that is the lesson in this story. At least, that is the lesson I have taken from it, and I do not think my Lord will reproach me for having done so.

There is one more Scripture which we have spoken of already but which I would like to remind you of again before we leave this most practical Book, and it is Proverbs 22:6: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." This seems to me to be a very encouraging promise for the parents, and one that we may well take to heart to cheer us on the way, as we seek to train up our children in the way they should go.

The children of believers are, of course, naturally like other children. The nature we can impart is the old, and not the new: to have this, they must be born again, as all must. Nor does it follow necessarily, as we know, that because a man is saved his house must be. But if with faith in God there be faithfulness in the place in which God has put us, He has promised, "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Here is the thing, no doubt, which tests us; for it is not our words only that have fruit in this way; it is the combined influence of our words and ways. That three days' remove from Egypt, if really taken, will have immense effect. And that we have come out to keep a feast to the Lord will give the positive side, without which separation from the world becomes a mere cold and hard asceticism.

(2,) "But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." The words employed are most significant. More exactly, it is discipline and admonition. Discipline will apply rather to the whole course of training or education; admonition implies constant watchfulness in order to warn against dangers, forgetfulness, or departure from the path into which they are being led. Nor should the exact meaning of "bring them up" pass unnoticed. It is to rear; and hence goes back, in regard to children, to earliest infancy. It is important to notice this, because many parents fall into the mistake of supposing that they must wait for their children's conversion before they seek to carry out this injunction; and hence the sad spectacle is often presented of Christian parents permitting their children all kinds of worldly ways, dress, and amusements, under the plea that they are not yet the Lord's. This is to miss the whole point of the teaching of these scriptures, as well as to forget the special place into which the children of believers are brought. The Spirit of God does not say, Wait and pray for your children's conversion; but He says, Rear them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. You are thus to take God at His word, counting upon Him for the blessing contained in the promise, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Prov. 22:6)

All this, indeed, lies in the words, "the discipline of the Lord." The primary meaning of the word is "training, teaching, or education," but it is the Lord's training and teaching which have to be administered. The simple statement of the fact throws a new light upon the families of Christians. What earnestness and zeal are often manifested to provide for a child's vocation in this world, and the anxiety for the child's success is often a burden upon many a parent's heart. And it is quite admitted that our children must be trained for some calling to enable them to pass through this world; but the chief end of a parent's stewardship is to train them up for the lord. If the Lord be thus exalted in the education of the children, His favour will rest both upon them and upon their parents, and He will be with the parents to sustain them in their object, and to subdue the hearts of the children to His blessed will. But, as with the Jewish parent so with the Christian, there must be diligence in this work. Every opportunity must be employed - "When thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up" - to impress upon them the blessed character of their relationship to the Lord, and of their subjection to His gracious government and authority.