What does it mean to not love in words or tongue but in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18)?

“But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?” Is this not to be a real, personal exercise and responsibility as before God? This is no demanding of the government that the poor should be relieved from public funds, while taking nothing from my own pocket; nor is it the founding of a benefit society to solicit the support of the world for the relief of the poor. The Lord give His people serious concern to see that their means are used for the blessing of others, and here it is specially the household of faith. If we ignore evident needs, is this an evidence of the love of God dwelling in us? To give where there is not need is of course a mistake; yet it is better to err on the side of kindness than on the side of greed and heartlessness.

“My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.” In ‘word’ is the actual expression coming from our lips, which may be very good, but with no actions to back it up. In ‘tongue’ would rather indicate the manipulation of the words, the art of persuasive speech. How empty is this if its truth is not attested in our deeds.

“And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.” We have observed other evidences of reality in the epistle, but here is one that must be carefully considered also. Loving in deed and truth is love expressed practically, and this is itself a confirmation to our own souls of the reality of our faith: our hearts are assured before Him by such results of the new life within.

But in the verses which precede, there are some interesting points to notice — "My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him" (vers. 18, 19). First, knowing "that we are of the truth," in ver. 19, does not mean knowing that we are Christians — which has been taken to be the sense; for the persons addressed were written to because they were Christians; because they knew the Father; because their sins were forgiven them for His name's sake (1 John 2:12-13). But, being exhorted to love not "in word, neither in tongue, but in deed and in truth," the apostle adds, "Hereby we know that we are of the truth." That is, that we are actually walking in the truth; that we are possessed by, we are "of the truth." Love in deed and love in truth, gives us this consciousness and assurance of heart before God. We cannot enjoy it otherwise. If there are matters between us and God, it is useless to ignore them. God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. But if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God, and receive whatsoever things we ask, because we keep His commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. It is not a question of being, or not being, children of God; it is a question of the children being on terms of happy confidence with their Father. If I owe a man a debt which I ought to have paid, there must be constraint on meeting him, but if there is nothing between us, and I believe in his generosity, I can confidently go to him with a request. Beautiful, happy condition for the soul to be in with God! This passage is a weighty one for the conscience of the believer, but its practical use has been much lost sight of through the misapplication just mentioned. The test is not as to whether we be children of God. It is one for saints to apply to their actual condition of soul. Are we thus before our God — that with an uncondemning heart, we are in communion with Him, and, as a fact, habitually receiving His answers to our prayers?

Secondly, the apostle says, "Let us love not in word, neither in tongue." This looks like tautology, but is not so. The term "logos," here translated "word," is of much wider signification than our "word." In English "not in word, neither in tongue," certainly is repetition. But this word "logos" means, in Greek, not merely the word by which thought is expressed, but the thought itself. So that the force of what the apostle says is, that we are not to love in theory (or thought), neither in mere language ("in tongue"), but in deed and in truth.

For there is a pietistic state, by no means rare, in which emotions and thoughts are enjoyed, the truth intellectually delighted in, but without fruition. Love as a theory is held to be very beautiful — but is not practised. The heart deceives itself. This is loving in thought merely. The text in question is the converse of 1 Cor. 13. There Paul treats of works without love; here it is, as it were, love without works, that is, mere sentimentality. But our passage crushes both of these errors: not only condemns love without deeds, but also deeds without love. It requires deeds, but the deeds must be from love; that is, not in theory, nor in talk, but in acts and in truth. Our God is love, and that alone will satisfy Him in His children — love "in deed and in truth." How penetrating is the word of God, exposing every mode in which the heart would either deceive itself or deceive others! It is sharper than a two-edged sword, laying bare the thoughts and intents of the heart. Many, in reading these verses, have supposed that the language was mere repetition; that it is not so only shows the wisdom which underlies every word of inspiration.

Then a very simple example is given; of helping a poor brother. It is a bond fide case of need, and some one who has means to help; love makes itself known by giving material help to the needy man. "Let us not love with word, nor with tongue"; it would not be divine love to dismiss the poor brother with a blessing (I mean a verbal one, so well known) and the latest improved tract, but there is real giving, material help.

Thus things are followed to their full result, as we have seen them traced to their hidden sources before God. How different was all with Christ! "Hereby perceive we the love" … To add "of God" spoils the sentence. There is no ground for interpolating any words. But One showed such love, and He was man as surely as God. "Hereby perceive we the love, because he laid down his life for us." If you want to know what love is, look here. This was love indeed. "And we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren." The same life of which we live was in Him: ought it not to be exercised in similar love? We may not often be called to lay down our life for our brethren; but are there not plain, simple, common ways by which it may be tested every day? My brother may have need: it is no use talking about readiness to die for my brother, if I at once shrink back from meeting his ordinary and perhaps urgent necessity? There is nothing great here; it is homely, but how practical! How it puts the heart to the test, and one that might be presented any day of the week!

But in the verses which precede, there are some interesting points to notice, "My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him"(1 John 3:18 ,19). First, knowing "that we are of the truth" (v.19), does not mean knowing that we are Christians - which has been taken to be the sense; for the persons addressed were written to because they were Christians; because they knew the Father; because their sins were forgiven them for His name's sake (1 John 2:12,13). But, being exhorted to love not "in word, or in tongue, but in deed and in truth," the apostle adds, "by this we know that we are of the truth." This is, that we are actually walking in the truth; that we are possessed by, we are, "of, the truth." Love in deed and love in truth, gives us this consciousness and assurance of heart before God. We cannot enjoy it otherwise. If there are matters between us and God, it is useless to ignore them. God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. But if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God, and receive whatsoever things we ask, because we keep His commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. It is not a question of being, or not being, children of God; it is a question of the children being on terms of happy confidence with their Father. If I owe a man a debt which I ought to have paid, there must be constraint on meeting him, but if there is nothing between us, and I believe in his generosity, I can confidently go to him with a request. Beautiful, happy condition for the soul to be in with God! This passage is a weighty one for the conscience of the believer, but its practical use has been much lost sight of through the misapplication just mentioned. The test is not as to whether we be children of God. It is one for saints to apply to their actual condition of soul. Are we thus before our God that with an uncondemning heart, we are in communion with Him, and, as a fact, habitually receiving His answers to our prayers?

Secondly, the apostle says, "let us not love in word or in tongue." This looks like tautology, but is not so. The term "logos," here translated "word," is of much wider signification than our "word." In English "let us not love in word or in tongue," certainly is repetition. But this word "logos" means, in Greek, not merely the word by which thought is expressed, but the thought itself. So that the force of what the apostle says is, that we are not to love in theory (or thought), neither in mere language ("in tongue"), but in deed and in truth.

For there is a pietistic state, by no means rare, in which emotions and thoughts are enjoyed, the truth intellectually delighted in, but without fruition. Love as a theory is held to be very beautiful - but is not practised. The heart deceives itself. This is loving in thought merely. The text in question is the converse of 1 Corinthians 13. There Paul treats of works without love; here it is, as it were, love without works, that is, mere sentimentality. But our passage crushes both of these errors: not only condemns love without deeds, but also deeds without love. It requires deeds, but the deeds must be from love; that is, not in theory, nor in talk, but in acts and in truth. Our God is love, and that alone will satisfy Him in His children - love "in deed and in truth." How penetrating is the word of God, exposing every mode in which the heart would either deceive itself or deceive others! It is sharper than a two - edged sword, laying bare the thoughts and intents of the heart. Many, in reading these verses, have supposed that the language was mere repetition; that it is not so only shows the wisdom which underlies every word of inspiration.

4 We come once more, after the apostle's manner, to the practical test; here, the test of love. It is easy to speak of it. The world has its forms and phrases, and holds to them all the more zealously because the reality is wanting. True love cares not to parade itself. It "seeketh not its own," but it is, as we so often have said, the spirit of service; and thus it is, above all, the spirit of Christ. He, then, that hath this world's substance, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up the bowels of his compassion from him, how doth the love of God abide in him? Love is that in which faith works. Therefore he looks first that it be really that — the fruit of faith. He will not tolerate a love, whatever works it may have to boast of, which is found in those who have not the faith of Christ; but all the more earnest is he that if the faith be there, the love which is its inseparable companion will be there also, and manifest itself. We are not to love in word, nor in tongue, but in deed and truth; and thus it is alone that we have any right to recognize ourselves as being of the truth; and this is the only way that our hearts have confidence in drawing near to God. He is not laying foundations here, as we everywhere see. He is testing those who are professedly upon the foundation, which is an entirely different thing. Communion with God is his great theme, and communion is not a matter of sentiment merely. It is a communion in deed as well as in thought. It is communion with One who actually gave His life for us, and who went about upon earth doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil. It is communion with One who even now bears all His people upon His heart before God. How, then, can it fail to manifest itself in a life which is the reflection of His life? though, indeed, it be but a reflection, as it must be.

It is a testimony with the lips as in the life, in the life as with the lips, the truth uttered never to be divorced from the truth embodied in practice. The former without the latter would be empty words; the latter without the former (if such a thing indeed were possible) an enigma never to be solved, a lost hieroglyph. The two together fulfill our Lord's precept, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." This combined testimony alone places our good works in the light, in which when seen they glorify the Father.

In 1 John 3:7 John writes, "Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as He is righteous." Only one who is righteous before God can practise righteousness, for it is the fruit of the divine nature that God has given us, the nature of the righteous God, and of Jesus Christ the righteous. Christianity is very practical, so the Apostle adds, "My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth" (1 John 3:18). It is easy to speak and write of what a Christian should be and do, but we are to manifest in a practical way the love that has been manifested towards us in perfection in Jesus.

God looks for reality. He is not satisfied with mere words of high profession. He says to us, "My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue, but in deed and in truth." He, blessed be His name, did not love us in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth; and He looks for a response from us — a response clear, full, and distinct; a response coming out in a life of good works, a life yielding mellow clusters of the "fruits of righteousness which are by Christ Jesus, to the glory and praise of God."

Here then he calls us to love not with word nor with the tongue, but in deed and truth. He is thus leading forward into the new subject. He adds "herein we shall know." It is not "know" but "shall know." This has its importance, because it does not refer to what they already were in Christ. For instance the eternal life which they now possessed in Him was settled knowledge; but here he looks on to the boldness or confidence of heart given by walking uprightly before God in daily practice, and very particularly in love. For this is a duty as to which many deceive themselves. Nothing is easier than to call for love and complain of others wanting it; but some that are loudest in the complaint are very short of it themselves. They are or count themselves desirous of being objects of love; but the right way is for ourselves to love, if indeed we would be loved. The going out of heart in goodness without a selfish aim draws out other hearts, whereas the lip too readily learns to talk about love and ends there. The Epistle is therefore guarded in these words that serve as a connecting link between what went before and that which follows. "Dear children, let us not love with word nor with the tongue." This of course a Christian, no matter what may be his state, would know he ought to detest; but if not in a practically good state with God, his love must be shallow and powerless. Therefore it is here said "not with word nor with the tongue" — to give it as exactly as one can. There is a slight difference in losing the "with" in both places and the article in the second. We are to love, "but in deed and truth." The natural man in Christendom talks of love in his way. Christ proved it in all its genuineness, and we who confess Him have to walk in the same simplicity and reality.