What does it mean to be a godly mother?

You will notice through these chapters how often the name of the mother is recorded: as in 2 Chron. 25:1; 2 Chron. 26:3, 2 Chron. 27:1. You dear mothers: what a weight of responsibility rests on your shoulders; and you may not hand it over to another, no, not even were you a queen; it is still your own special responsibility to train those precious darlings, while their hearts are still young and tender, in the way the Lord would have them go. The years will pass all too quickly; and before you are aware, you will find it is too late, if you do not seize the opportunity the Lord gives to you while the children are little. All the gold of Tarshish cannot make up for the loss, if their names are blotted out of the Lamb's Book of Life, because you were too busy here and there to train them for your Lord.

What a place the mother has in the home. How much she has to do with the children. The father, normally, spends less time with them than the mother who, normally and Scripturally, is the worker at home. How responsible and yet how privileged she is to have such close links with the family in their tender and formative years. What an opportunity for godly mothers to lay a good, Scriptural, and christian foundation in her children.

The foundation of the child's character is laid in the home training and the mother's hand is the instrument which God delights to use in this work. The mother's most important and divinely-appointed work is in the home with her children and she should devote herself wholly to their care, training, and upbringing. If a mother neglects this momentous work in the home or leaves it to others while she seeks to do service for the Lord in other spheres, she leaves her work undone and will surely fail to rightly accomplish someone else's work to which she has not been called. The teaching and training which children receive from their mothers during their young years when sensibilities are tender is most influential upon their whole after life and will leave an impression upon their young, plastic, and receptive minds and hearts which cannot be erased. How important, then, is the work of mothers in the homes. May it not be neglected.

Passing by the lamentable occurrences in the families of some of the patriarchs - as, for example, in that of Isaac and Jacob - we may ponder, first of all, upon the exhortations given by Moses to Jewish fathers: "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." (Deut. 6:6-7.) The simplest can understand the teaching of this scripture, and it will suffice therefore to point out its main features. First, then, the word taught must be in the heart of the parent; he must possess and love it; for indeed none can teach anything of which they have not themselves felt the power. Secondly, the responsibility is personal, and cannot be abdicated: the parent himself must be the instructor. Thirdly, he must exercise diligence, and seize every passing opportunity, in order to impress God's word upon the hearts of his children. It is therefore not too much to say that this responsibility is paramount to any other - such as any, for example, which might affect the path and welfare of his children in this world.

But the question may be anxiously put, How is this to be done? First and foremost, by assiduous instruction from the Scriptures. Thus in the passage already cited from Deuteronomy it is said to the Jewish parent, "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children," etc.; and St. Paul, writing to Timothy, reminds him that "from a child thou hast known the holy Scriptures" (2 Tim. 3:15); and it may be inferred, from the mention of Timothy's mother and grandmother, that it was by these godly women that he had been so instructed. It should be a solemn consideration with all Christian parents how far they are doing the same thing. There are many families where the Bible has a place, but not the chief place, in the instruction of the children. But surely "the nurture of the Lord" can only be derived from the word of God; and hence, whoever would be faithful in this matter, must be diligent in its systematic explanation. And what an advantage to the children who are thus taught! The truth of God is brought to bear upon them from the very outset, and used by the Holy Spirit, according to promise, to quicken, form, and direct; they are, under His gracious power, reared in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. There may not, in such cases, be any signs of distinct conversion (as is often observed in the case of children of faithful, believing parents), because the Spirit of God uses the Word at the very commencement of life for their blessing in regeneration.

This also had been the case with Timothy. There was unfeigned faith in him, which dwelt first in his grandmother, Lois, and in his mother, Eunice. Both Lois, the grandmother, and his own mother, who had a Greek for a husband (Acts 16:1) had trained the child Timothy in the Holy Scriptures (the Old Testament) and he had known them from the earliest childhood (3:15). Therefore when the gospel of Christ was presented to them this unfeigned faith laid hold upon it at once. It was good ground which had been prepared to receive the gospel-seed. Thus it should be in the Christian household. The promise is "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved and thy house." (Acts 16:31). Unfeigned faith will be produced in the young by instructing them out of the Word of God, for "faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God" (Rom. 10:17). Without ceasing Paul remembered Timothy in his prayers night and day. He remembered his tears, occasioned no doubt by the second imprisonment. How he desired to see his beloved son to be filled with joy!

Sometimes it is said that the third generation gives things up, however, I find in the Scriptures a third generation that is very, very strong, that is Timothy. His mother and grandmother were noted for their faith and Paul says, "and I am persuaded in thee also". Here was a third generation that was strong and healthy in faith and Paul had every encouragement from that young man. Faith is not hereditary but, thank God, the teaching of faith can be carried on through the generations. This is what happened in the life of Timothy.

These were women of unfeigned faith. Their faith was not hypocritical, it was not just an outward show, but they had faith that worked, that operated. These two dear women were marked by this kind of faith. What a wonderful thing that it was also in young Timothy. Paul appealed to that, saying, 'The faith that I have seen in your grandmother and in your mother is the faith that I want to see operating in expression for the glory and pleasure of God in you'.

First, she nursed her young son by breastfeeding him (1:23). Applying this spiritually, we must supply our children with spiritual food for their souls. It is never too early to feed our children with such food, which is the ‘pure mental milk of the word’ (1 Pet. 2:2). When they are still young, we read it to them. When they start going to school, we help them read and understand it on their own. Of course, we will respect the age and the character of a child. We will not give them the wrong food. We will not give them too much or too little. Quality and quantity will be well balanced so that they can grow spiritually. Also, breast milk is something which is formed beforehand, and inside the mother. There is no spiritual equivalent of fast food or a ready meal. Our children will only be blessed as we give them something which has been produced and experienced in ourselves and practised by us.

Notice it says of love that the older women should teach the younger ones to be attached to their husbands first. This order is important because it is never good for the children to occupy such an important place in our affections that they come between wife and husband. No, it is love to the husband that should come first, and then love to the children — it is the same, of course, for the husbands in respect of loving their wives and their children. But then this scripture says that the younger women should be ‘diligent in home work’. Many women say, ‘This does not satisfy me. Why should I stay at home? My career is out there. Why should I give up all the things the world offers me?’ This is the spirit of those amongst whom we live. Is the woman’s responsibility in the home an old-fashioned thing that only applied in the past or a principle of God that still applies today? Genesis, the book of beginnings, gives us an example in chapter 18:6 where we read of Abraham’s three visitors. We find him outside the tent when they visit, but Sarah is inside because that was her place. And in Proverbs 31:27, the virtuous woman ‘surveyeth the ways of her household’. How can wives and mothers do this if most of the time they are away from the home?

Looking after our children at home involves four things. Firstly, using our eyes to see what is going on. Why, for example, do the children come home at 6pm when school ends at 4pm? If we are not at home ourselves, we may not even know that this is happening. And who are they bringing home with them? What type of friends do they have? If we are at home, we will see these things. Secondly, using our ears. If we are at home we can hear the language they use and, if necessary, say, ‘That kind of language stays outside. You may hear it all day at school or on the street, but we are not going to tolerate it in our home.’ And have we ever been in our son or daughter’s bedrooms and listened to the music they play there? Is that their own business? No, we are responsible for what goes on in our homes. Do we know what music they are downloading? They put on their headphones and we cannot hear a thing. They say, ‘I can’t do my homework without music’, but it would be good to listen to what they are playing and be able to say, if necessary, ‘You should not be listening to that kind of music.’ Thirdly, our own conduct is very important. It speaks much louder than all our words. The youngest child follows us everywhere with their eyes and sees what we are doing. This means mothers are a tremendous influence on them for good or bad. Fourthly, by prayer. What do we do if our children come home in tears because they have had a bad day at school? As we listen to them, we can say, ‘Well, let us pray about it together.’ In doing this we teach them in a very practical way that they can bring everything to the Lord by prayer and supplication. We show them by our own behaviour how they can resolve life’s problems. And as we pray with them they will discover what a difference it makes to the problem. But if mothers are never at home, they cannot do any of these things. Someone else might do it, or not do it. So, looking after the home is not an old-fashioned thing but something God has told us to do for the blessing of our children.

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” Her speech is in all wisdom — there is “neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient”. But though in her conversation chaste, she is not austere; for “the law of kindness” is in her tongue. Her conversation is always in grace, yet seasoned with salt. There is a way of speaking which is as the piercings of a sword; and on the other hand there is a class of speech that is all honey. Both extremes are by this favoured woman happily avoided; while kindly in manner and tone, there is no winking at or smoothing over wrong or sin. “She looketh well to the ways of her household” — there is the faithful exercise of discipline in the circle of her own. Some would discard discipline entirely in the church — the house of God. Not so this noble helpmeet of her Husband; she watches carefully the conduct of those beneath her roof and under her authority. And there are those set in the church “who watch for our souls as those that must give account”. “Good, easy man” does not describe the “man of God”; he threatens to come “with a rod”; if remonstrance and loving admonition fail.