What does it mean that love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4)?

(1) “Love has long patience.” The flesh is ever impatient, but love can suffer long and wait God's time. Fleshly endurance is soon exhausted; love does not wear out.

(2) Love “is kind”. The flesh, even if it waits, will often do so in a fretful and resentful spirit; but love, while waiting, can retain a kindly spirit of consideration for others.

Next we come, not to a definition of love, but to its qualities as in this world, specified for our instruction. It is what Christ was here, active as well as suffering in love above evil. "Love is long-suffering, is kind; love is not emulous, is not vainglorious, is not puffed up, doth not behave unseemly, seeks not its own things, is not easily provoked, reckons not the evil, rejoices not over iniquity, but rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (Vers. 4-7.) Patience in the midst of trial is the first-mentioned attribute of love, which even shows positive kindness instead of harbouring a vindictive thought. Again, as it does not indulge in envy or jealousy of another, so there is no self-display (or, as some think, forwardness), nor the arrogance whence it springs. Hence indecorum, or rude behaviour, is incompatible with love, as it is marked by disinterestedness and slowness to anger, and by readiness to forget the wrong that is done.

Now we are to contemplate more closely the features that characterize love. First comes a very positive feature. It suffers long (or, has long patience) and is kind. Could anything surpass the long patience and kindness of God's dealings with rebellious man? No. Well, God is love. And in the measure in which we manifest the divine nature, we shall manifest long patience and kindness towards men generally, as well as towards our brethren.

This one positive feature is followed by negative features. Love is marked by the total absence of certain hideous deformities of character and behaviour, which are perfectly natural to us as men in the flesh. Paul strings them together. Here they are: (1) Envy of others: (2) Vaunting oneself, or vainglory, or as it has been translated, being "insolent and rash:" (3) Being puffed up or inflated with one's own importance: (4) Unseemly behaviour which follows hard on the heels of an inflated mind: (5) Self-seeking: (6) Touchiness, easily taking offence and provoked to anger: (7) Thinking evil, that is, quick to impute evil to others: (8) Rejoicing in iniquity, that is, glad to be able to point out iniquity in others, and to denounce it. The string that runs right through these eight things is, love of self.

Let us begin, then, and see from the different epistles how it is the summum bonum - the supreme good. In Romans, where we have the gospel of God presented, God's love is made known in order to produce love in us; and accordingly, when we come to chapter 13:8, we read, "Owe no man anything, but to love one another." It is here put in a very striking way, as what we owe to every man. Are we daily discharging this debt? In 1 Corinthians 13 we get a fuller unfolding of love. Much has been said upon this wonderful chapter, and no attempt is made to expound it here. The passage in Romans is more individual and general, but here it is shown to be the one thing that is needed to make things work smoothly amongst the children of God. Love is our measure, and without it we are nothing. There is one very peculiar and striking thing about it. The description is not so much of what love does, as what it does not do, showing that the very essence of love is self-abnegation and self-effacement. How easy comparatively it is to engage in active and even arduous service rather than to suffer, and yet the very first thing mentioned is, "Love suffereth long, and is kind." How little we like to suffer at the hands of others, and how prone we are to retaliate. Oh, how this humbles us, "Love suffereth long, and is kind!" Measured by this standard, how small our love is, and, consequently, how small we are!

Love's first distinction is "long-suffering;" its second, "kindness;" both one and the other being capital attributes of the Saviour-God. And if He is long-suffering to usward,8 we, whose calling is to imitate Him as His children, should in like manner both forbear one another in love,9 and be patient towards all.1 If the kindness of His saving love has already graced us with His righteousness in Christ,2 and is through Him to flow to us eternally,3 it should seem to us a little thing to be kind to one another; and to array ourselves becomingly, as the elect of God, should be our chiefest care.4

"Love does not envy," though jealousy is in its very nature.5 God, who is the source and final object of His own desires, working as He wills, can envy none. Nor can that love which has its origin and hope in Him. Love covets earnestly,6 but not for its own sake. It is jealous over those who are its care.7 But because it knows God, it can neither crave addition to His gift unspeakable which it already has in Christ, nor can it look angrily on any who in position may seem higher than itself; for in God's light only it sees light. As love is of God, so envy is distinctively of Satan. It was a prime element in the original transgression, and was the spring of Cain's deadly hatred to his brother. And when the appointed hour came for darkness to sit in judgment upon light, it was through envy that the enemy prevailed.8 In God's presence it can find no place, though it hovers often at the threshold of the sanctuary. Moses was meeker than his servant, because Moses spake with God, while Joshua only spake with Moses.9 When the disciples wrangled for supremacy, the Master's back was turned.1 In His presence emulation takes a downward course.

From verse 4 we learn what love is, and what it is not. It suffers long and is kind; it does not envy, nor is it insolent or rash. Some of the beautiful traits of love have marked the saints throughout the different dispensations; we see the kindness of God in such as Joseph and David, unselfishness and meekness in Moses and Paul, patience and endurance in such as Job and the great cloud of witnesses mentioned at the close of Hebrews 11. But in Jesus every feature of love was found in perfection, and all were perfectly blended together and expressed in all His ways. Longsuffering and kindness mark God's dealings with men from the beginning; they are features of the divine nature to be manifested by all God's children.

I understand that the word translated 'longsuffering' here has to do with each other, with persons. Those of you who have Mr. Darby's translation will find in it a footnote in the epistle to James showing how he describes the two words 'longsuffering' and 'patience' (or 'endurance'). This word longsuffering that we have here has to do with persons, that is, we are longsuffering towards each other. Well, that is a very, very good trait to have indeed. It is so easy to give the cold shoulder, so easy to turn aside and say, 'What is the use'. But we are to be longsuffering and remember this is a feature of God himself, "the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation" (2 Pet.3:15). We continue in the spirit of love and peace and grace and kindness towards each other. Well, we may be sorely tried in our spirits (not forgetting we may try others too), but this longsuffering is to be active all the time towards each other, we are not to make hasty decisions, not to rush into conflict, but we are to be longsuffering towards each other, praying and helping and considering each other; and it does produce results, thank God. We have seen that in the past, too hasty a confrontation brings sorrow, but patience and praying and waiting often secures the desired result and the Spirit's fruit is in us when we are longsuffering. It is something that can be maintained and promoted in us by the Spirit of God. As we said at the outset, no one can say, 'This is impossible as far as I am concerned!' If you say that it is tantamount to saying that the Holy Spirit is not powerful enough to produce this in me. So we humbly wait and act in longsuffering towards each other.

To be longsuffering is literally to be long-tempered. Where there is this quality there is not a rash reaction to provocation but self-control. If a response is appropriate, it is a considered one. We are to bear with one another, remembering that ‘we all often offend’ (Jms. 3:2). How much Christ bears with in us! Should we not bear with one another?

(8) Love “is not quickly provoked”. The flesh is ever touchy and quick to take offence and resent insults. Love is slow to anger and not easily provoked. Love, indeed, can be provoked, for in this very Epistle we are warned that it is possible to provoke the Lord (1 Cor. 10:22); but the Lord is slow to anger; He is not quickly provoked.

Love “is not easily provoked.” It is not touchy. Love will put the best construction upon what is questionable. For instance you meet a brother in the Lord in the street. He takes no notice. Love would not be affronted at being apparently cut dead, but would believe that the brother had not seen you, and would not have acted in that way if he had. In such simple things divine love helps.