What does it mean that love is not rude (1 Corinthians 13:5)?

(5) Love “is not puffed up”. The flesh is often vain and filled with its self-importance. Love takes the lowly place in service to others.

(6) Love “does not behave in an unseemly manner”. The flesh, even when high in the social scale, can be rude and unmannerly. Love will lead the highest by birth, as well as the lowest, to be courteous.

Love “doth not behave itself unseemly.” Love makes spiritual gentlefolk in actions and ways. Someone said to the late G.V.Wigram, “Mr. Wigram, there’ll be no gentlemen in heaven.” “On the contrary,” he replied, “they will all be gentlemen there.” We have known saints of very humble origin, with little or no education, and divine love has made them spiritual gentlefolk.

Love “is not easily provoked.” It is not touchy. Love will put the best construction upon what is questionable. For instance you meet a brother in the Lord in the street. He takes no notice. Love would not be affronted at being apparently cut dead, but would believe that the brother had not seen you, and would not have acted in that way if he had. In such simple things divine love helps.

"Does not behave itself unseemly," or it would not be true love, to which modesty and unobtrusiveness attach as natural ornaments. Sincerity is never ostentatious, and truth has its own proprieties, which love knows well, and never violates. Its boldness is not shamelessness. How little of this comeliness of love was found among these weak Corinthians has already been made evident. Let us remember only, that when criticising their deficiencies we are learning to know and to correct ourselves.

"Seeks not her own." But nature does. This single attribute declares sufficiently the origin of love. By this also may be clearly seen the inseparable connection between faith and love. If the heart has not a satisfying portion for itself in Christ, this self-neglecting love is an impossibility. Self-seeking may often betray itself in acts which, ostensibly, are works of love; nor is it ever wanting but when faith is in active exercise. It is by looking continually to Jesus, the author and finisher of faith, that we must seek to counteract this all-besetting tendency. He sought neither His own will nor His own glory; but, as the self-sacrificing Shepherd, He both seeks and finds His sheep. The apostle was like the Master

(4) “Love is not insolent and rash.” The flesh is aggressive, rashly pushing itself into prominence. Love is not self-assertive, but rather retiring and reticent.

Next we come, not to a definition of love, but to its qualities as in this world, specified for our instruction. It is what Christ was here, active as well as suffering in love above evil. "Love is long-suffering, is kind; love is not emulous, is not vainglorious, is not puffed up, doth not behave unseemly, seeks not its own things, is not easily provoked, reckons not the evil, rejoices not over iniquity, but rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (Vers. 4-7.) Patience in the midst of trial is the first-mentioned attribute of love, which even shows positive kindness instead of harbouring a vindictive thought. Again, as it does not indulge in envy or jealousy of another, so there is no self-display (or, as some think, forwardness), nor the arrogance whence it springs. Hence indecorum, or rude behaviour, is incompatible with love, as it is marked by disinterestedness and slowness to anger, and by readiness to forget the wrong that is done.

"Thinks no evil" scarcely expresses the clause, but rather not having the evil in the mind and tongue. "No evil" would answer to the phrase if anarthrous. Here it is an actual evil done, which would rankle but for love, which is ever above evil, always free and always holy.

The opening descriptions are all of a passive character, and show that love demands the renunciation of self. Long-suffering and kindness head the list. These are the attributes of our loving God and Father, and we are to imitate Him as His children and forbear one another in love. Love does not envy. God does not envy. Envy is of Satan; all self-seeking has its origin in pride, which is the crime of the devil (1 Timothy 3:6). Love vaunteth not itself. It never seeks the applause of men. Self-display is self-love. True love is not puffed up. Love doth not behave itself unseemly. Its ornaments are meekness, modesty and unobtrusiveness. It seeketh not its own; it is self-neglect and is expressed in devotion to others. Nor is it easily provoked, for self-consciousness and self-seeking being absent, sensitiveness becomes impossible. Love thinketh no evil. The better translation is, "does not impute evil." It rather hides than exposes. Furthermore, love "rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth with the truth." The last four characteristics show its positive energy. It beareth all things--it puts up with anything but that which is wrong and sinful; believeth all things; it does not suspect, therefore it hopeth all things and also endureth all things. Finally the permanence of love is stated. Prophecies, tongues and knowledge will fail, cease and pass away. Love never. It is abiding eternal, the greatest of all.

But what is love? Verses 4 to 7 show how it expresses itself. It suffers long, and in suffering still remains kind. It "envieth not," for it is honestly glad that another is favoured. Nor does it vaunt itself: unseemly advertising of oneself is not love for others. "Is not puffed up." However one may be used of God, if love is the motive, he will not be thinking of his own importance, but still of the need of others. Its conduct is not unseemly, not offensive to any sense of decency. It does not seek its own, for it is an outflowing stream. Nor is it easily provoked, because not occupied with its personal feelings. And it does not suppose evil, apart, of course from manifest evidence. It rejoices not in evil, but in the truth: being genuinely ungrudging. Believing all things is being not suspicious without clear reason; then even when things seem to the contrary, love continues to hope all things. And finally it endures all things: it does not give up.

Love does not behave in an unseemly manner (love is not indecent)

Love does not behave in an unseemly manner (love is not indecent)

This one positive feature is followed by negative features. Love is marked by the total absence of certain hideous deformities of character and behaviour, which are perfectly natural to us as men in the flesh. Paul strings them together. Here they are: (1) Envy of others: (2) Vaunting oneself, or vainglory, or as it has been translated, being "insolent and rash:" (3) Being puffed up or inflated with one's own importance: (4) Unseemly behaviour which follows hard on the heels of an inflated mind: (5) Self-seeking: (6) Touchiness, easily taking offence and provoked to anger: (7) Thinking evil, that is, quick to impute evil to others: (8) Rejoicing in iniquity, that is, glad to be able to point out iniquity in others, and to denounce it. The string that runs right through these eight things is, love of self.