What does 1 Peter 3:3-4 teach about women's adornment?
Peter turns from how a Christian wife lives with her husband to what she wears, and he does it by contrasting two kinds of adornment — one visible and one hidden. The question the verse forces is not simply "what may I put on?" but "whose eye am I dressing for?"
What the verse sets aside
The list of hair, gold and clothing is a list of things that catch attention. One writer takes the point as a matter of who the Christian is trying to please:
William KellySome may laugh at this, but it is their worldliness that governs them. Doesn't the Christian have to please Christ and do everything in His name?... The real ornament is the hidden man of the heart which He sees, in the incorruption — for outside, everything is corruptible — of a meek and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is of much price. None of these showy things is, nor could all the gold of Ophir buy it.
Not carelessness about dress
The passage is not a call to look shabby. Writers who take it strictly still insist the instruction is about the kind of dress, not the absence of care:
Edward DennettNeglect of dress, or even of adornment, is not what is directed; on the contrary, attention is to be paid to it, but according to the word of God... It is to be of the kind that suits the "meek and quiet spirit," so that there may be agreement between the dress and the character. Ornaments are permitted too; but they are to be made, not of gold or pearls, but of good works.
Another writer draws the line on both sides at once:
Arno Clemens GaebeleinThere should be a difference between the daughters of the world and those who are Christ's. On the other hand, shabbiness of dress, an unclean appearance, is no more an honour to the gospel than a dress that follows the latest fashion of the world.
The heart is where the ornament is put on
"The hidden man of the heart" locates the whole matter inward. A meek and quiet spirit cannot be worn as a manner:
Hamilton SmithThis is the opposite of the vanity and self-assertiveness of the flesh, which always seeks prominence for self. What is more, this meek and quiet spirit is to be cherished in the heart, in the sight of God. If it is cultivated there, it will surely form a meek and quiet character before God and men. At times there may be a pretence of a meek and quiet manner, but this is of little value unless it comes out of a meek and quiet spirit.
Incorruptible — an ornament fashion cannot date
Peter calls this adornment imperishable, and that word is set against the one thing everyone knows will change:
W. T. P. WolstonThere is a beautiful reference to the fashions, because there is nothing so changeable as fashion; but, the apostle says, you are to have an ornament that is always the same. Oh to possess that which in the sight of God is of great price, the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit! It is not displayed in what the world around notices; it can only be seen and understood by those who come into contact with the one who wears it.
Priced by God, not by onlookers
"Very precious in God's sight" is a valuation, and it is His. That shifts the audience entirely:
Frank WallaceThis meek and quiet spirit is most precious in the sight of God, more precious than all the outward adornments, however nice or valuable they may be. God said to Samuel, "man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart" (1 Sam. 16:7). Here is something God wants from every dear sister: a life of devotion to the will of God, a life not of outward show but of inward reality, a life that pleases His eye — and His eye can see as no other eye can see.
Addressed to wives, but not limited to them
The wording Peter chooses is noticeably not gendered, and readers have taken that as deliberate:
Frank WallaceWhile we are speaking specifically about women, that does not mean that those of us who are men are exempt from this exhortation — not at all, because in connection with the women it says "let it be the hidden man of the heart" (v. 4). So this takes us all in.
Commentators differ on how far the instruction should be pressed. Some say such matters are left to each person's conscience; Dennett replies that the directions here are too specific for that. Mackintosh writes that where the heart is governed by this passage, dress will be ordered rightly of itself.
Summary
- Hidden. The adornment Peter commands is put on where no one but God can see it — "the hidden man of the heart."
- Cultivated. A meek and quiet spirit is grown in the heart before God, not imitated as a manner; a pretended gentleness is worth little.
- Incorruptible. Fashion is the most changeable thing there is; this ornament never dates, never tarnishes, and never has to be replaced.
- Priceless. God prices it Himself, above gold and pearls — the eye that sees the heart is the eye that sets the value.
- Outward too. The inward ornament shapes the outward one: not neglect, not display, but dress that matches the spirit wearing it.