What did Jesus mean when He said, "Woman, behold your son" on the cross?

We may not, however, linger upon reflections such as these, neither would we have ventured to make them, except to enhance our appreciation of the tenderness and care of Jesus for Mary in her sorrow. His cup had now been drained, for we read immediately that "Jesus, knowing that all things were now accomplished;" and hence, knowing also what was passing in Mary's heart, He was at leisure to turn to her with words of solace and consolation. Was she in the darkness of desolation in these moments of her supreme trial? The light was at hand to dispel the gloom, and to assure her that the One on whom she had been looking with such unspeakable sorrow understood her grief; for He opened His lips and said, when He saw His mother, and the disciple standing by whom He loved, "Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother. And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home."

In meditating on these words, attention may be called to the fact that the evangelist is led to write the word "mother," while Jesus addresses her as "woman." Mary was the mother of Jesus, and this favour from God led Gabriel to salute her as blessed among women. But, as we have seen, natural ties could not be acknowledged as constituting any claim upon a life of devoted and perfect Nazariteship. And now that the Lord's death was at hand, even this tender and intimate tie would be ended, ended by His departure from the scene in which He (in incarnation) was made a little lower than the angels for the suffering of death; and yet it is at this moment that the Holy Spirit reminds us that she was the mother of Jesus. It teaches, beyond all contradiction, that the honour which God bestowed upon Mary shall never, in its own sphere, be taken away. The error, and the deadly error, has been to transfer the honour from earth to heaven, and thus in effect to exalt her even above God's beloved Son.

There are two things in these words of our Lord which may be plainly apprehended. In the first place, He gives to Mary in her bereavement consolation and an object. The beloved disciple who knew the Lord's mind as none other could have done (for he had laid his head upon the Lord's breast) was henceforth to be as Mary's son; and Mary might take him to her heart in a new way as given to her by the Lord Himself. In fact, it was a precious legacy of His heart's affection — the greatest solace He could minister to her in the circumstances. Secondly, He transferred His own earthly relationship to John when He said, Behold thy mother; and He thus singled out the disciple whom He loved for the fulfilment of all the loving responsibilities which such a relationship involved. Mary, in a word, was committed by the Lord to John's care, who henceforward was to tend her, and provide for her with filial affection. The Lord knew what was in the heart of each, and it was according to His knowledge of, and love for each, that He committed them. thus to one another, and thus bound their hearts together for the remainder of their earthly pilgrimage.

The Lord speaks from the cross in tender consideration for His mother, indicating to her that now John was to be her son; and to John, telling him, “Behold your mother!” (vv. 26-27). We know that she did have other sons by natural birth (Mark 6:3; Ps. 69:8), but John 7:5 tells us, “Neither did His brethren believe on Him.” How much more strong is the spiritual relationship than the natural! John took her after this to his own home. Her other sons had deprived themselves of such a privilege through unbelief. Yet after His resurrection His brothers were found in the upper room with the disciples. Apparently through His death and resurrection they were converted to God. Yet they had lost the dignity of caring for their mother.

At the cross John was the only disciple mentioned as being there although there were several women including the mother of the Lord Jesus, John's mother (if Salome was indeed John's mother), Mary Magdala, and Mary the mother of Clopas and John. Then the Lord Jesus, during those first three hours, turned to His mother and said, referring to John, "Woman, behold thy son!" and to John he said, "Behold thy mother!" and we read, "And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home" (John 19:27). The Lord committed His mother to John's care and John rose to the occasion. This was a responsibility that John took on himself for the rest of Mary's life.

After that, we find One who has completed His blessed course; it is the Son of God. During His service here below, He did not recognise His mother. In reality His human relationships were not in question; He was the bearer of the divine word in this world, the expression of this word in His Person, and nothing else; separated from everything for this. Now that His divine ministry is ended, He recognises this relationship, not as a link with the Jews, this was over, but as human affection. He commits her to John, the disciple He loved. To have always repelled her was not a lack of natural affection, but faithfulness, whether in His position outside the Jews (Matt. 12:46), or in absolute devotedness. Now that His service is finished, His affection is free, and He shews it.

But faith and love gathered near the dying Saviour some of very different mind. "Now by the cross of Jesus stood His mother, and the sister of His mother, Mary the (wife) of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala.351 Jesus, therefore, seeing His mother and the disciple standing by whom He loved, saith to His mother, Woman, behold thy Son. Next He saith to the disciple, Behold thy mother; and from that hour the disciple took her unto his own (home)" (verses 25-27). These were among the women who had followed Him in His ministry and had ministered to Him in life. There they stood in His rejection by the cross, where the Lord shows how little asceticism rises to the truth. He had been absorbed in the work for which He was sent by the Father; no honey mingled with the offering, any more than leaven: salt was never absent, nor the unction of the Holy Ghost. All had been in the consecrating power of the word and Spirit of God, and to God. But perfect human affections were there, though the work undertaken in communion with the Father had filled heart and lips and hands with the higher object to the glory of God. Yet eternal interests, when thus taken up, do not efface or dishonour Nature or its relationships according to God; and the Lord here marks this by commending in the most solemn and touching way John to His mother as son, and Mary to John as mother: a loving trust honoured from that hour. How sweet for the loved disciple to remember and record! And how strong the contrast with superstition, no less than as we have seen with asceticism! And what a testimony in all to His own entire superiority to overwhelming circumstances!

Providing for His Mother. — The soldiers were at the cross in the path of duty. To another group are we now introduced, drawn there by affection, mourners indeed. Just five composed it, and all standing by the cross — viz. the Lord's mother, her sister Salome, Mary the wife of Cleophas or rather Clopas, Mary Magdalene, and John, Salome's son, and so the nephew of the Virgin. The Lord's mother was, it would seem, a widow, and probably had been that for some time. Fresh sorrow now befell her. Her Son was crucified. Old Simeon's words were coming true, "Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul" (Luke 2:35). Had she wondered what they could mean, when that aged saint uttered them? All was plain now. He was foretelling her sorrow at the crucifixion of her Son. She spoke not a word to her Son at the cross that we read of. But her Son spoke to her, a lasting comfort for that mother's heart, till she should be with Him in the other world. We quote the Evangelist's account. "When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple standing by, whom He loved, He says to His mother, Woman, behold, thy son! Then says He to the disciple, Behold, thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home" (John 19:25-27). This Gospel, which tells us of the rebuke administered to her at Cana, tells us of the Lord's thought for her when dying on the cross. Natural ties had no claim on Him to guide Him in His service. Natural ties were not meant to be disowned, or considered as beneath recognition. He, about to leave the world, provided a home for her for the rest of her life.

John 19:25-27. Amidst all the sorrows of the cross, the human tenderness of the Lord shines out. The fact that, at the beginning of His pathway, He would brook no interference from His mother in His heavenly mission (John 2:3-4) does not stop the Lord from caring for her earthly needs. So now He commends her to the care of one who, above all others, was trusting in the love of Jesus — the disciple who could lean on Jesus' bosom and who five times describes himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved. From that hour John took her to his own home.

For instance there is a supreme example of His love and care proper to human relationship. When He hung upon the cross, when life was fast drawing to a close, when His body was racked by excruciating physical torture, when the great event for which He assumed manhood, even to lay down His life under the overwhelming judgment of God as He took the sinner’s place on the cross, had arrived, He even then thought of His mother, with tender solicitude and deep affection. He saw John, “the disciple whom Jesus loved,” and His mother standing at the foot of the cross. He said to His mother, “Behold thy Son,” and to John, “Behold thy mother” (John 19:25-27). “And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.” How beautifully the Lord cared for His mother, and counted on His loved disciple to take His place in caring for her.

In connection with the vigil of the women from Galilee, spoken of in the other Gospels (Matt. 27:55-56; Mark 15:40-41; Luke 23:49), John alone gives the touching incident of His mother at the cross. It is worthy of note that this Gospel, which gives no account of the birth and early life of our Lord, makes more mention of His mother during our Lord's public ministry than any other of the Evangelists. At the marriage in Cana of Galilee, she speaks to Him and is answered, not harshly, but faithfully by the Lord. He must show her, there, that the relationship according to the flesh cannot intrude into those divine relationships which to Him must be supreme. Later, she accompanies Him to Capernaum; and here we see the sword piercing her own heart as she stands by the cross. We see no shadow of resentment in her heart when our Lord spoke so faithfully to her in Cana, for at once she says to the servants: "Whatsoever He saith unto you, do it." Here, at the cross, there is no danger of her misunderstanding her place. How transcendent is the thought! Upon the cross is the eternal Son of God, the perfect Man, the King of the Jews, accomplishing that work of redemption which the divine counsels had decreed from all eternity; He it is upon whom the whole universe was dependent, yet as Man enduring all possible sufferings. At such a time we see Him giving deliberate attention to a minute detail. Nothing will make Him forget the love and respect which He ever had for His mother. Rome may blasphemously degrade everything by putting the creature upon the throne of God, claiming a homage and worship for the tender mother of our Lord which would have filled her with horror. Rome fails to see the exquisite beauty of what we have here; for truth perverted, is robbed of all its attractiveness and value.

"The disciple whom Jesus loved is entrusted with the care of our Lord's mother, not merely as guardian or servant, but in all the intimacy and affection of son and mother. Let us remember that the expression, "the disciple whom Jesus loved" does not suggest partiality, which was utterly foreign to our blessed Lord. John held no monopoly of this term, which was for all the disciples; but he seems to have entered more fully into the truth that the expression conveys. It was not the disciple who loved Jesus, but who is quite content to know that he is loved by his Lord. Happy indeed are we if we know this also! It enables us to enter into, and be entrusted with that which is dearest to Him.

I have said that the garments of the Lord for which the soldiers gambled were His only possession, but there was Mary, His mother. Even though He had had to put the relationship into the background at the beginning of His ministry, it was there, and now at the end of His life it came into view again; she was "His mother." Four times John uses the word "His mother." The tenderness of His love flowed out to her and He committed her to John. He could have cared for her miraculously, but there was a more excellent way. John stood by the cross with Mary and some other women, "The disciple whom Jesus loved, " probably a youth of twenty years and who had leaned his head upon His bosom at the Supper, was not His disciple only but His friend; he could be trusted, and to him Jesus committed this precious legacy, and he proved himself true to the trust.

This committal of His mother to John was His last act before yielding up His life in sacrifice for us, and it calls for our earnest consideration. Was the Lord in that hour caring only for His mother and His loved disciples? has not this act something in it to teach us? No two persons on earth loved that Lord more than His mother and John, and none were more truly the objects of His tender solicitude. His last word to them was a command that they should dwell together in love and mutual help; He bound them together for this in a new relationship. But He has done this for all His own and everyone of them is loved with the same love wherewith He loved these favoured two, and His command is that they love one another and dwell together in peace in the new relationship that He has placed them in. He died "that He should gather together in one the children of God that were scattered abroad" (John 11:52). And He has given them a commandment: "This is My commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you" and "Ye are My friends if you do whatsoever I command you" (John 15). Alas, the seamless robe has been rent by hard and legal hands, and the new relationship that Jesus died to form has had little hold upon the hearts of those who have been brought into it, and family quarrels have dishonoured the Lord, and grieved the Holy Ghost and proved how small is our claim to be the friends of Jesus. Ah, we need to be drawn afresh to the Cross, and to stand there with "His mother, and His mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleopas, and Mary Magdalene, and the disciple whom Jesus loved, " and to hear afresh His words, "Woman, behold thy Son!" and "Behold thy mother!" and again, "I am the good Shepherd: the good Shepherd gives His life for the sheep… There shall be one flock and one shepherd." "Feed My sheep."