What did Jesus mean when He said someone "is not worthy of me" (Matthew 10:38)?

The first intimations of our Lord to His disciples with regard to bearing the cross were in no wise ambiguous or equivocal. "He that takes not his cross," says He, "and follows after Me is not worthy of Me" (Matt. 10:38). This is emphatic and significant, and moreover not a mere isolated statement, though, if it were, its truth and force would not be weakened thereby in the slightest; but we find from the 16th verse of the chapter to the end the tenor of the whole scripture is concerning the persecution which should befall His faithful witnesses. He, the Lord of the harvest, was sending forth His labourers into the harvest; and He forewarns them of the tremendous opposition they would encounter, not only from those who oppose every new thing on the principle of obstinacy, but from the powers that be — governors and kings — and, hardest to bear, from their nearest, kindred — fathers, mothers, and children. Did they murmur at such a cheerless prospect? Surely it is enough for the disciple to be as his Master, and the servant as his Lord! When the Pharisees saw diseases, demons, and death itself all flee even at the word of the Master of the house, they forthwith called Him Beelzebub (Matt. 9:34). Would they then pick words for those of His household? Our Lord, far from softening the stern character of His call, plainly and solemnly calls for the uncompromising disowning of even the very closest of earthly ties, where they would interfere with faithful discipleship to Himself. "He that loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me." And this is immediately followed by the weighty warning to all mere triflers whose devotion would be stilled by the first appearance of suffering for the truth's sake. "He that takes not his cross and follows after Me is not worthy of Me." These words plainly show that cross-bearing and Christ-following are two things joined together by the Lord; and therefore let none dare to sunder them.

It was in view of this fact that the apostle gloried in the Thessalonian saints, because of the patience and faith they exhibited in the persecutions and tribulations they were enduring for the kingdom of God's sake. By this means their allegiance was tested and their worthiness made manifest. "So that we ourselves glory in you in the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that ye endure; which is a manifest token of the righteous judgment of God that ye may be counted worthy of the kingdom of God for which ye also suffer" (2 Thess. 1:4-5). Not that this worthiness, here or in Matthew, refers to standing before God; for the ground of forgiveness of sins and of acceptance with God is grace exclusively, never merit of any kind (Eph. 2:8). The point is not relationship but discipleship. And it is insisted that suffering for Christ's sake is a prime characteristic of a true follower of our Lord. To shirk the cross is to forfeit the title of a worthy witness in the world for the Lord Jesus, just as much as to display patient fortitude under fiery trials for the name of Christ is to proclaim the unswerving loyalty which marks one worthy of the devotion he professes to his Master.

There must be a decision as regards Christ. If one loves father or mother, son or daughter more than Him, he is not worthy of Him. He cannot take a secondary place to any natural relationship. For any mere man to require this would be wickedness; but this Man is the eternal God, worthy of unconditional worship, and entitled to the absolute obedience of every creature. It is added also that if one does not take his cross and follow Christ, he is not worthy of Him. For Christ has willingly accepted the cross of the rejection of mankind for our sake. Every disciple of His therefore is to take his own cross, that is, to voluntarily identify himself with the rejected Christ of God, and to follow Him in this path of rejection, not expecting any recognition by the world, but rather reproach. This is of course inseparably connected with a confession of Christ, as in verse 32.

One who found his life, that is, chose a life of ease and comfort on earth, would only lose it, for man cannot retain what be seeks so ardently to hold, a fact that Ecclesiastes 12 so graphically portrays. But if one would lose his life for Christ's sake, that is, make Christ his object, though this might mean sacrificing life's natural pleasures and objects, he would actually find his life in its satisfying character of lasting value and blessing, a life with eternal good In view.

Can it be possible to mistake the meaning of "taking up the cross," when so closely connected as it is with self-denial, and the following of Jesus? For it is plainly manifest from the passage, that there can be no true discipleship without denying one's self, and following the Lord. But self-mortification, whipping, and other monkish habits, though they may be a species of self-denial, certainly are not the cross-bearing of the gospel. And on the other hand the cross worn by the Crusaders of old, far from being coupled with the self-denial of the text, was actually opposed to the true cross of Christ, serving only as a cloak for the indulgence of the worst and most selfish of human passions. As a matter of fact, the true character of the cross, as well as of self-denial, is sufficiently determined by the Lord's injunction, "Follow Me." For whatever interferes with consistent discipleship is to be given up in order to follow Him. And whatever burden of obloquy falls upon one faithful to Christ constitutes the cross to be taken up for His sake.

In the Gospel of Mark a case in point is given. The virtuous youth, who earnestly sought to know from our Lord how to inherit eternal life, was a most commendable example of human morality, so much so, that "Jesus, beholding him, loved him." Surely then he would make an admirable recruit for the ranks of the disciples! Not so; for though he did not lack zeal, obedience to the law, or appreciation of the Lord as a teacher, he lacked that which would make him a follower of Jesus. "Go thy way," said the Lord to test him, "sell whatsoever thou hast and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow Me." But we are told "he was sad at that saying and went away grieved; for he had great possessions" (Mark 10:21-22). Self-denial, the first requisite of a disciple, was lacking; for at any rate he loved his riches too well to discard them at the bidding of a prophet of Nazareth. Nor is it at all necessary to suppose he was a miserly man, yet it is quite clear he did not find sufficient attraction in the person of Jesus, or sufficient authority in His words, to counter-balance his regard for his store of earthly treasure. And at this point it is important to observe that "taking up the cross" was not covered by parting with the whole of his possessions for charitable purposes. After yielding up that which men learn to love next to (if not as well as) life, he was then to take up his cross and follow Jesus. For philanthropy is in no sense, even when extended to its utmost limits as in this case, synonymous with carrying the cross of Christ. Besides foregoing his abundance and luxury, he was called to associate himself with One Who was a reproach among men, and despised of the people (Ps. 22:6), Who was a butt and a byword for those that sat in authority, as well as the song of the drunkard (Ps. 69:12). By following such a One, he would utterly lose his position of honour and esteem in the eyes of his religious patrons and teachers. Socially, politically, and religiously, he would be regarded as a leprous outcast, whose love and good works would be rewarded, like his Master's, with hatred without a cause (Ps. 109:5, Ps. 69:4). He would be reviled, persecuted, and maligned for Christ's sake (Matt. 5:11). In short, he would become the focus of general scorn and. contempt, and that simply and solely because he followed this despised and rejected Nazarene. All this and more was implied in the words: "Take up the cross and follow Me." The heart of the young man shrank from such a prospect. And who indeed could bear a cross so galling to man's nature without knowing the attractive glories of the Person Who demanded endurance of such a kind? Little wonder that he departed in sadness.

The instance however makes it very clear that the burden of the cross is inseparably connected with following Jesus, yet quite distinct from the renunciation of personal property. In fact the cross-laden disciple is he who is repudiated by the world as his Master was.

The Lord here, in this passage, demands a love beyond the tenderest earthly affection. Where there is a real conversion and a godly testimony, there is often terrible family opposition. Both Peter and Paul, in presenting the gospel, say, Thou and thy house (Acts 11:14; Acts 16:31). Even if not the head of the house, may I not count on God for them all? Rahab did. But the Lord's words would show how it is possible to have terrible family variance and antipathy. That would be a cross. Every believer has his cross, but this in ver. 38 is in connection with family persecution. Some in taking, in faithfulness, this cross may have to suffer to the giving up of life, or if not that, to the losing of all earthly prospects, even being disinherited from their part in the family inheritance, etc. Yet are they not losers, but great gainers, if it is through faithfulness to Christ.

The Lord said, "He that loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me" (Matt. 10:37) and again, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father and mother and wife and children and brethren and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26). In these words the Lord declared the condition of discipleship. This condition was based upon the acknowledgment of His authority as paramount and absolute. No human tie should have a superior claim to that of the Lord Jesus. And in the utterances quoted, He contemplated a case where family authority sought to override His word as Master. Even in national government parental claims or filial responsibilities are not allowed to absolve a subject from allegiance to the Crown, or to screen a criminal from retributive justice. Must the Lord of all ask less than this from the subjects of His kingdom? If patriotism demands that a man shall leave all to serve his country, who should complain when the Master calls His disciples to leave all to serve Him?

There is, therefore, no inconsistency in our Lord's teaching. In the one case, He set the divine call above the claims of filial duties, while in the other, He condemned the Pharisees who set human tradition above filial duty, an inversion for which there was no adequate warrant. The question of mutual obligation in the family is one which can only be finally settled by divine authority. God alone, who established the responsibility of children to their parents, can abrogate that responsibility, and from the beginning He recorded His permission that a man should leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife (Gen. 2:24). The parental home might be quitted to form a new relationship of a natural order. In the New Testament we have a relationship of a spiritual order entered by a similar renunciation. At the call of Jesus, James and John left their father Zebedee in the ship with their hired servants and went after Him. It was so with others, as Peter said, "Lo, we have left all and followed thee." But we read that the Lord said to another, "Follow me," and he was ready with an excuse. He took refuge in his filial responsibilities, and desired that he might be allowed to wait until his father was dead and buried. Clearly this man, judged by his own confession, was not prepared to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. And accordingly the Lord said to him, "Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but go thou and publish abroad the kingdom of God" (Luke 9:59, 6o). He had yet to learn the absolute supremacy of the One who said to him, "Follow me."

The break-down of these truly excellent saints is recorded for our instruction. Perhaps there is nothing that so hinders full loyalty to Christ as natural affection. We find it so difficult to give Him the place of absolute supremacy in our hearts and lives. Levi is specially commended in Deuteronomy 33:8-11 because in the day of the golden calf he "said to his father and mother I have not seen him; neither did he acknowledge his brethren nor knew his own children." In Luke 14:26, the Lord Jesus points out a similar path for all who would be His disciples. The natural must be subservient to the spiritual if we would follow Him. The rejected One — our God in "the likeness of sinful flesh" laid it down emphatically, "He that loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me." (Matt. 10:37). What a test for our hearts!

1884 56 Disciple is learner, follower: the Lord Jesus is both Saviour and Master, Lord and Master of all men, of those whom He bought with His blood. Only believers are true disciples. To be a disciple of Christ while He was here below involved the loss of all that men value (Luke 14:26 etc.). Not by being deprived of all as by force, for then the affections might still be engrossed with them; but a deliberate and willing separation from all that would interfere with following Him. Faith is the first step in the path, the only true beginning. A false start, that is, a pretended following, when all else is not forsaken, frequently if not invariably leads to greater hardness of heart, and to infidelity. The sure natural result is hatred of the truth. The Lord warns the multitude of what is needed to be a true disciple, "if any man come to me and hate not his father and mother and wife and children and brethren and sisters, yea and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross and come after me cannot be my disciple." Had they ears to hear? Anyone attempting to be a disciple in his own strength, by the working of his own will, would be like a man beginning to build a tower without counting the cost, or like a king going to war with ten thousand against another king with, twenty thousand. The cost of being a disciple is beyond the resources of man.

Some have given up father and mother for the sake of worldly advantage; others to gain the applause of quasi-religious men, which is but another phase of the same world. There is only one case in which the Lord shows the necessity of forsaking father and mother, and that is when the child is commanded to forsake Christ; in every other it is sin against Him who said of old, "Honour thy father and thy mother," and also by the apostle, "Children, obey your parents." When father or mother, yea, or wife or life, comes in competition with Christ, then all must be "hated" the disciple must bear the cross and follow Him. If any of these stand in the way of confessing Christ as Saviour, it is better to be driven from home and disowned by parents, than to be Christless.

The test of true discipleship is found then in the preference of Christ to all things whatsoever else. The Prince of peace had come into the world, and yet the effect of His presence would not be to produce peace as between man and man; but on the contrary to bring out all the opposition of the heart to Him. For this they must be prepared. Variance would be introduced into families, ― an effect with which the truths has been invariably reproached. Professing disciples would have to take their choice, therefore, between Himself and all else, were it father, mother, son or daughter: the inmates of a man's house would be his foes. No one would be fit to be a disciple of His who did not accept this, and take up his cross to follow Him. Here for the first time He intimates the death before Him, ― the shame which He has turned to glory: a dread word now for those whom He is sending out as heralds of His Kingdom, but with all the intimation of sorrow and rejection. Humbling Himself to all that the enmity of man can do, His language is that of serenest, fullest consciousness of a title far more than royal ― a divine title. With the world thus against Him, He putting forth no power to subdue it, nor even to shelter His people from the vindictive hatred which He predicts, He claims from all that will be His disciples the most perfect devotedness that could be shown by man. He is to be dearer than the dearest, nearer than those bound by the closest of ties. And under such constraint they are to follow Him as the perfect, supreme example of all that is highest to be attained: to be "worthy of Him" their whole ambition! How His glory shines out here from the depth of self-abasement.

There is no service to Christ which is without a cross. As it is written, "He that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me." (Matt. 10:38.) This chapter is the Lord's "charge" to His apostles, telling them what they and the church would have to expect from the time of His death. The part of the chapter more immediately connected with this verse is from verses 32-42, which seems to me to read thus: "According as those who on earth standing in the place of my servants confess or deny me before men, so will I confess or deny them before my Father in heaven: [nature would say, Oh, we will all confess Thee; therefore Jesus goes on to tell the difficulties of so doing, for the result is both painful, and, among men, disgraceful]: the result of so doing will be family discords of the worst kind." If any man says, "Christ is in God for me; henceforth I will live here only by and to Christ," he gets thus at once out of the centre man knows, and everything and everybody is against him. Man judges of everything by its present RESULTS; the present results of the truth are painful, and as man thinks disgraceful: yea, most shameful! "A fine religion," he would say, "to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother," etc.* Therefore, "he that taketh not his cross and followeth after me is not worthy of me." This was addressed to the twelve more particularly, as servants of God; yet in principle it is true of every disciple's service. If you read the chapter you will see this.