What biblical principles should be applied to a Christian marriage ceremony?

The ceremony of marriage required by civil laws to bestow a wedded status upon the persons concerned is altogether distinct from the spiritual union of husband and wife which results from the exercise of God's own will and guidance upon the hearts of the same two persons. The latter is the most serious and yet the most happy side of the undertaking. For this reason, the married couple, realising the solemn nature of the initial step they have taken in the united life to which they have committed themselves, seek the fellowship and prayers of the assembly of God on their behalf. Thereby, they openly confess that in their new relationship, their joint desire is to receive divine help that they may walk together in the fear of the Lord, in obedience to His word, and in the furtherance of the glory of His name.

While Scripture is silent entirely as to the marriage ceremony, (this being the affair of the government in the particular locality), yet we read of the marriage of Cana in Gallilee, at which our Lord was present (John 2:1-11), and of other marriage celebrations, including the marriage supper of Matthew 22 and that great future occasion of "the marriage supper of the Lamb," concerning which a multitude of voices join spontaneously in unison: "Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to Him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and His wife hath made herself ready." (Rev. 19:7-9).

If God therefore has in rich grace and by His tender leading, arranged a marriage of two of His redeemed saints, how becoming and right it is that others should rejoice with them, and have opportunity to express their thankfulness and heartfelt fellowship in gathering on so glad an occasion. The supper itself is an expression of communion or fellowship. Whether the ceremony is performed at the same time in the presence of all guests, or just previously at the registrar's office or elsewhere, in the presence of only two witnesses, is of no real significance. But this is a precious occasion upon which the saints of God may, if confident of the Lord's ordering this union, share in the joy of the happy couple.

Moreover, rather than the occasion becoming merely one of social enjoyment, let the Lord Himself be greatly honoured and thanked for His wondrous grace. To have a brother present who may read and minister the Word of God acceptably will help elevate this happy scene to a level of sacred sweetness, above mere earthly pleasure, and will restrain that which is mere fleshly exuberance. If relatives and friends are present who have not been saved, how opportune a time too for announcing the glad news of the grace of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. What added cause of rejoicing to the wedded couple if their marriage should be the occasion of the salvation of some precious soul!

Nevertheless, civilization being what it is, and man untrustworthy, when nations were formed on earth, it became an absolute necessity that, to maintain proper government, a due public recognition should confirm the marriage of any couple. Certainly the believer must fully recognize the requirements of government, and "be subject unto the higher powers." Since the government then requires a ceremony, the Christian gladly conforms to this ordinance of man, for the Lord's sake. But to go further than this, in a ceremony that adds a religious element, including vows as before God, is not Scriptural, and confuses the principle of subjection to secular authorities with that of God's sovereign operation in uniting two lives in marriage.

In such a relationship of grace, vows are utterly foreign and contrary to its very character. God asked no vows of either Adam or Eve, nor do we see this in Isaac and Rebecca, but rather the confidence of trusting one another. If God has Himself brought a couple together, and they have unshaken confidence that this is so, can they not trust one another without the addition of a vow? Under the covenant of law (which is a contrast to grace) vows were introduced, but not in reference to marriage. Under grace even such legal vows have no place: how much less then is there place for vows in that which speaks of the blessed relationship of pure, free grace existing between Christ and His Bride! Sadly, in formal Christianity, by which even godly believers have been affected, such vows, flavoured with a religious tone, administered by a minister of religion, have become increasingly popular. Instead of the happy couple simply and solely thanking God for His Divine grace and ordering in the union, the vain element of confidence in the flesh is introduced by the intrusion of human vows. How it spoils the sweet simplicity of Divine grace which would shine more brightly than all else in such a union. Would this not remind one of Jacob's unseemly vow, after God had unconditionally promised him His gracious blessing? (Gen 28:13-22).

The True Purpose Of Marriage Ceremony

At least the government representative will make his pronouncement rightly on behalf of the state or province. On the other hand, a clergyman may pronounce a couple man and wife "on behalf of the church," which is thoroughly wrong, for neither the true church of God nor the churches of men have any authority of any kind in reference to marriage. And yet more gravely serious is the expressions sometimes used, "I pronounce you man and wife in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost." No man has ever been given authority from God to speak in this way. When God joins, He does so without the help of any man; and this intrusion of one professing to represent God in the actual joining of a couple in marriage is akin to the error of a king's menial servant, who assumes to speak officially in the king's name, without the slightest authority, and to bring into effect something that only the king personally can rightly do.

In certain countries only a government official is allowed to perform the ceremony. Elsewhere, while ministers of religion are authorized for this, by government, yet a couple may have this done at the registrar's office, or have a judge or justice of the peace present where the ceremony is desired; in which way the truth of Scripture is not compromised. If, for whatever reason, a minister is chosen to perform the ceremony, it is suggested that the believing couple request that no religious vows be added, and that a pronouncement be made in no other name but that of the government. Yet, let us have godly caution in remembering that these things are not written as laying down laws, but for the help of the honestly concerned consciences.

"H. J." We fully accept the rendering of 1 John 5:16, as given in our most excellent authorised version. As to the scriptural mode of celebrating marriage, we believe that Christians are bound to submit to the law of the land, and comply with the requirements of the government of the country, which surely are framed in such wise as to meet the most tender conscience. We are called to "submit ourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake."

Another aspect of the marriage tie may now be considered. As a relationship established by God in the original circumstances of man's creation, it possesses a pure and holy character. It is obvious, however, that in Eden there were necessarily no human witnesses to the first marriage contract. But with the multiplication of the human species, there arose the necessity that each matrimonial alliance should have a propriety in the eyes of men generally, and should receive public confirmation and approval.

From the days of Noah, God set up among men forms of government for the maintenance of civil order and social well-being. The “powers that be” in the community are ordained of God, and their regulations are to be recognised and obeyed by the Christian (Rom. 13:1-7; 1 Peter 2:13-14). It is seemly, therefore, that Christian marriage should conform to the requirements of the law of the land. Indeed, it is expressly enjoined upon the believer to “be subject to the higher powers,” and to submit “to every ordinance of man, for the Lord's sake.” Where this is done in the case of marriage, the act of union is formally and legally recognised, and its validity established in the eyes of all men.

How perfectly right then that the believer should have any proper government official to perform this ceremony, and thus recognize the rightful claims of government. Sometimes Christians have urged that only a saved person out to perform this ceremony for them; but this view springs from a lack of understanding as to the ceremony being simply a government requirement. There is no more reason to insist on having a saved official to do this that to insist that only a saved person should issue the marriage license.

Up to the time of a man's marriage the chief relationship in which he stands is that of a son, and his responsibility is towards his parents, but when he marries he leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife. Henceforward she becomes his chief care, for he and she are no more twain but one flesh.

Every right-minded man will look upon his wife as the only woman in the world for him, he will desire no other; and that not because he has chosen her for his wife, but because God has joined them together. He will look upon her as the very woman that God made for him; he will treat her as God's gift to him, and more, he will treat her as himself, for they twain have become one flesh; and that by no mere ordinance of man, but by God's own act and decree, hence "what God has joined together let not man put asunder."

Marriage is a covenant for life