What are appropriate reasons for missing church?

p528 [G Gausby] MY DEAR BROTHER, - The unity of the body, and the saints acting on it, I feel to be most important. In the early church they sent the elements to the sick in token of this unity. But the assembling in one place I do not think to be of any force, because they broke bread from house to house, or in their houses generally, in contrast with the temple, yet surely in the unity of the body. Were it done contrary to this it would be the spirit of schism. There are cases of illness which are temporary discipline. In such I believe it is better to bow to the Lord's hand and wait recovery. But when it is not so, but a hindrance which is permanent, and, so to speak, providential, I do not think such an one should be deprived of the privilege; and it has been in fact habitual to minister this comfort to such.

Sometimes it is objected that it is better not to provide such online offers (broadcast of the meetings) in the first place. Admittedly, on the one hand, they again harbour the risk of encouraging an attitude of easily staying away from the face-to-face meeting, and one can only warn against that. It should also be remembered that the distraction factor at home in front of a screen is significantly greater than in a real meeting. On the other hand, we should not forget that in some places there are old and sick brothers and sisters who - perhaps for years - have not been able to attend the meetings. Do we want to deprive them of this opportunity and joy of following the meetings online? The counter-argument that you can visit them afterwards is of little use, because firstly - unfortunately - it is hardly practiced anymore and secondly, in practice it only applies to the ministry meeting or the Bible study. We also think of parents who have to stay at home with the children and thus have the opportunity to listen to the meeting. Job-related absence could also be mentioned at this point. We should be careful here in our judgment and “go softly” (Isa. 38:15).

Attendance at the meeting (in person) is to be sought in any case. But if there is no other way, we should have a wide heart and consider together before the Lord how to decide on a case-by-case basis. It is important that peace be kept in the assembly.

But the Church requires instruction, and has its needs. It is therefore most fitting that there should be special meetings for these purposes, that the meeting for the breaking of bread may be left free for its own peculiar purpose. Love attracts us to the Lord, and therefore to one another. Meetings for prayer, and holy, happy conference, will be as frequent as circumstances and the duties of daily life will permit. We need hardly say that daily work is not to be neglected for the sake of multiplied meetings, nor the duties each one owes to his own family. This would be a disorderly walk, which the apostle rebuked (2 Thess. 3:6-12). Still when every duty has been met, there remains the opportunity of attending meetings, and the exhortation to "not forsake the assembling of ourselves together as the manner of some is" (Heb. 10:25).

It is always to me a very unhappy circumstance, beloved brethren, to see God's children merely putting in an appearance on the Lord's Day morning — the mere keeping up an outward link with the Lord and with His people. I admit that there may be circumstances where it cannot but be so — extreme sickness, or there may be positive duties of the most peremptory kind. I am not alluding to them, and we ought to be slow, therefore, to judge in any individual case until we know the facts; but I do say as a general rule now, that the same faith which makes us value the coming together to meet the Lord at His own table ought to make us rejoice to meet the Lord on every occasion, and further, to provide by every means for growing in the truth. For that is one great source of our weakness in worship! It is because we are not growing in spiritual intelligence. If we were using the truth of God and growing up to Christ in all things there would be a greater fulness in worship and, allow me to add, greater simplicity. There would not be merely the continual use of the same thing, but we should have fresh thoughts without even thinking about them — without an effort, because our hearts would be filled day by day with His truth, and, therefore, it is of so much importance to avail ourselves of every hour.

Besides, we must remember that we have something more to do in attending a meeting than to think of our own comfort, profit, and blessing. We must think of the Lord's glory; we must seek to do His blessed will, and try to promote the good of others in every possible way; and neither of these ends, we may rest assured, can be attained by our deliberately absenting ourselves from the place where prayer is wont to be made.

We repeat, and with emphasis, the words, "deliberately absenting ourselves" — staying away because we are not profited by what takes place there. Many things may crop up to hinder our being present — ill-health, domestic duties, lawful claims upon our time if we are in the employment of others — all these things have to be taken into account; but we may set it down as a fixed principle that the one who can designedly absent himself from the prayer-meeting is in a bad state of soul. The healthy, happy, earnest, diligent soul will be sure to be found at the prayer-meeting.

I think therefore that it is according to the Lord that the children of God should if practicable be together every day. To this the power of the Spirit would lead: only the circumstances in which we are placed in this world necessarily hinder it. Therefore the true principle according to the word of God is a coming together whenever it is practicable; and we do well to cherish a real exercise of heart and conscience in judging what the practicability is, or rather whether the impracticability be real or imaginary. Very often it will turn out to be in our will, an excuse for spiritual idleness, a want of affection to the children of God, and a want of sense of our own need. Accordingly obstacles are allowed in own minds, such as the claims of business, or the family, or even the work of the Lord. Now all these have their place. Surely God would have all His children to seek to glorify Him, whatever may be their duty. They have natural duties in this world; and the wonderful power of Christianity is seen in filling with what is divine that which without Christ would be merely of nature; and this should ramify the whole course of a man's life after he belongs to Christ. And so again the claims of children for instance, or parents, or the like, cannot be disputed; but then if they are really taken up for Christ, I do not think it will be found that it is to the loss of either parents or children, or that the little time is missed in the long run that is spent in seeking the strength of the Lord, and in communion according to our measure. We ought to be open for both; and we shall ourselves never have any power to help unless we have the sense of the need of help from others; but both will be found together.

Then comes the call to "consider one another to provoke unto love and good works." When set right before God as to the present and the future, we are in a condition and are exhorted to seek the good one of another. And, in order to promote the affection and deeds worthy of Christians, it is important to hear the caution, "not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is customary for some, but encouraging." For this is well, rather than an objurgatory tone which provokes neither to love nor to good works. Our gathering together is of great moment: none can neglect it without snare and loss. And we need mutual cheer in the midst of difficulties, sorrows, and dangers. Isolation may be a resource in special circumstances; but it is never to be desired like fellowship as the rule.

May the Lord Jesus so attach our hearts to Himself, that our gathering together, having Himself for motive or object, may become increasingly what it really is, the most precious thing in the world for us collectively. May we know how to appreciate the mercy which, in a time of ruin, gives us the possibility of having a special meeting, as in Acts 20:7, to remember our precious Saviour together, and to enjoy His presence in the midst. How sweet to the heart of the Christian who comprehends the thoughts of God on this subject! In going to the worship-meeting, we may have the privilege of thinking that we do not go there for ourselves, but as being invited thither by the Lord, to remember Him while waiting for Him, and by Him to worship our God and Father, to whom He has brought us. Therefore the intelligent Christian will not readily miss such a meeting, except for reasons which hold good before the Lord.

Next as to the Sunday school: it is not for me a question of neglecting the Lord's Supper and remaining to keep the children, but of devotedness to the service of Christ, for which one deprives oneself of a wonted enjoyment, and thus in no way of the delight in and desire of it. It is not as if a servant is obliged to stay, but as if a mother stayed with a sick child - she would feel the deprivation, but do her duty; as if an opportunity offered to preach to sinners and a person went once and left the breaking of bread. It would be a question of his being called of God and devoted to it. The question then is of one devoted to the children as a work for the Lord, and then giving up a Sunday in three for the work of the Lord, and as devotedness to Him. This must be a question of the individual's feeling that he is called to it as devotedness to the Lord. There is an accessory question; that is, whether the taking care of the children is necessary to the prosperity of the school and their good. If so, I should feel no scruple or difficulty in remaining so to keep them. Habitual giving up the Lord's supper for the school I should object to.

But if I see a husband coming home from the busy city, sitting down to the repast which tender and loving hands have spread for him, and then taking his hat and hurrying off, evening after evening, to some church meeting, to give them the benefit of his assistance and counsel; or to some Scripture reading, where divine truth is discussed metaphysically, whilst the precious souls of his wife and children are starving at home; and then, when returning late at night, chiding with his wife, or expressing his regret at her want of spirituality, what shall I say to him? I would say to him: "My dear brother, is this the way that Christ loved the Church, and gave Himself for her? Is this the way that Christ sanctifies and cleanses His body with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish? Is this the way that the Lord nourisheth and cherisheth her? I know that the word of exhortation told the Hebrews, not to forsake the assembling of themselves together, as the manner of some was, but to exhort one another, and so much the more as they saw the day approaching; but it told them also, to consider one another, to provoke unto love and to good works. And does this term "one another" mean any one else but your own wife, your own body? Charity begins at home. I should certainly be the last to encourage any forsaking the assemblies, but if I see a husband every evening in the week hurrying away from wife and children to attend meetings, there is but too much reason to fear, that he will get surfeited, whilst his wife is starving.