Was Jesus being rude to Mary when He referred to her as "woman" in John 2:4?

The wine had failed, though the appointed days of the feast had not run out. How should the lack be supplied? His mother turned to Him, saying, "They have no wine" (John 2:3). But why turn to Him? Surely she hoped for some interposition on His part, though we know not of any previous display of miraculous power to embolden her to expect it. And verse 11 of our chapter would seem to indicate that there had been none. We conclude, however, from the Lord's answer, who of course read her thoughts, that she had that expectation. But He had come to do His Father's business, and not as yet to be subject in any way to human control, or even guidance. Hence his answer, "Woman, what have I to do with thee? Mine hour is not yet come" (4). Few words, but to what varied conjectures have they given rise! First as to the way He addressed His mother, and second as to the meaning here of "Mine hour." We will look into these.

As to the first. Observing His language when on the cross, as He spoke to her, saying, "Woman, behold thy son" (19:26), will clear the mind of the reader from the supposition, that He answered her at the marriage in any disparaging manner. In that same way he addressed the Syrophoenician woman, when commending her faith (Matt. 15:28). In that same way the angels addressed Mary at the tomb, "Woman, why weepest thou?" In that same way the Lord also addressed her on that occasion (John 20:13, 15). We believe, then, that no one in that house would have received an unfavourable impression from His language to His mother. Would any one think, that He ought to have called her mother? Have we, we ask, any instance of His ever so addressing her? He spoke of her as His mother, but never, that we remember, thus addressed her. And could we suppose, that He, who reminded the Pharisees of the obligation of the fifth commandment (Matt. 15:4), would have put a slight on His mother?

Then as to the words "Mine hour" — how shall we understand them? Many explanations have been suggested. We believe that chapter 7:30, and 8:20, afford the clue. "His hour" these speak of. "Mine hour" He said to His mother. Should we not conclude that they all three refer to the same time — viz. that hour when He would be subject to men's will, submitting to human control? "The hour" we read of in different places in this Gospel, the context generally showing to what event the reference was made. But "His hour," and "Mine hour," evidently refer to something very special. Clearly the former phrase has reference to the time of His being delivered into the hands of men. We think, viewing the context, the latter must refer to it likewise. Direction at that time, then, or control from His mother, He would not allow.

But she, expecting, notwithstanding His answer, that He would supply the want, told the servants to do whatever He said. The marriage must have been one connected with the family, since she took on her to tell Him of the lack of wine, and to tell the servants to obey His behest. And understanding as we now do who it was who was there, it is plain that no want at that feast would He permit to remain unsupplied. So far His mother was right in her expectations.

In verse 11 we are also told that honey was another ingredient that was not to be offered with any offering of the Lord made by fire. Honey, in Scripture, appears to have two interpretations. For instance we read that the land of Canaan was a land of "milk and honey". Then, in speaking of the Lord prophetically, Isaiah tells us that "butter and honey shall he eat" (Isa. 7:15 ). But in Proverbs 25 we have what appears to be a warning. Verse 16 reads: "Hast thou found honey? Eat as much as is sufficient for thee lest thou will be filled therewith, and vomit it"; and again in verse 27 it says: "It is not good to eat much honey". But in connection with the meal offering it would appear that it is the natural sweetness of honey that is being typically pointed to. Natural sweetness, whilst not offensive, has to be used with discretion. The Lord’s ways and words were always gracious, but in John 2:4 we read of Him saying to His mother: "Woman, what have I to do with thee?" Whilst such an expression might have been the mode of conversation of that day it does, to our ears, have the sound of harshness. I am sure that our Lord did not address His mother in this way, but on the other hand there was no trait of natural sweetness or ingratiation. There was no honey. But in John 19, where the Lord is upon the cross and His mother and the disciple John are looking on, His words were: "Woman, behold thy son", and to John: "Behold thy mother" (John 19:26-27). So we can see that whether it be in His normal ministry, or whether it be in the dying hours upon the cross, His expressions are still the same — natural sweetness is absent.

The Lord's bearing is a hard thing to those who idolise Mary. It is written for everlasting profit that, when the wine failed, His mother said to Him, They have no wine; and that He replied, Woman, what have I to do with thee? Mine hour is not yet come (vers. 3, 4). Assuredly if any infer disrespect from these words, they are in error; but so are those who do not learn that the Son of God solemnly objects to dictation where divine glory was in question. He was sent to do the will of God His Father, not to please His mother, as here in her amiable solicitude for a family with whom she was evidently intimate, and at a time which engaged her feelings in their strait. Christ had already as a youth of twelve years testified to Joseph and Mary, after their anxiety, His consciousness of Sonship in the highest sense; now when emerging into public ministry He remonstrates with Mary, who as evidently now alone remained. Not even His mother must interfere with the glorifying of His Father, by a wish of hers however kindly meant.

"And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee,47 and the mother of Jesus was there. And Jesus also was invited and His disciples unto the marriage." It is the figure of things on earth: there is no picture of the heavens opened here. Hence we find the mother of Jesus48 brought forward prominently as one at home in the scene. "And when the wine fell short, the mother of Jesus saith unto Him, They have no wine." The first Adam always fails, and fails most where most is wanted. But Jesus will meet all wants, though His time is not yet come. Faith, however, never looks to Him49 in vain, and "Jesus saith to her, What have I to do with thee, woman? mine hour is not yet come." It is a remarkable answer, which Romanist theologians find very difficult to square with their doctrine and practice. He does not say, Mother. It is no longer a question of the first Adam: not that there was disrespect, but that Mariolatry is unfounded and sinful. Jesus was here to do the will of God. Blessing, He would show, comes down from the Father through the Son. Flesh and its relationships have nothing to do in the matter. All must be of grace.

"The mother of Jesus was there, " and her character comes out in the incident; she was observant and compassionate. Things were not going well and she sensed it. There was a great lack at that feast, and the young people were beginning to be embarrassed, and she realized it, and for their sakes she speaks to the Lord. It is more than likely that she had often turned to Him in her own need, now she speaks to Him of others' need. "They have no wine." Or may it be that she had waited long for Him to manifest Himself, and vindicate Himself and her, and had begun to chafe at the long and apparently useless delay?

We may be sure that His rebuke was ministered with great tenderness, and in such a way that she would not be humiliated in the presence of others. But it was not for her to direct Him, and she had still to learn that He had to be about His "Father's business" and to wait His Father's time and His Father's word; and she had to learn to wait also. "Mine hour is not yet come" was a mysterious word; it runs through this Gospel, and we cannot in this paper search out its meaning; it reached far beyond that marriage feast, but it did not mean that He would not intervene for the present need.

The Gospels confirm that He recognized earthly relationships. Regarding Joseph and Mary, it says that He was subject to them, (Luke 2:51). Even on the cross He took care of His mother and said to her: ‘Woman, behold thy son! Then he says unto the disciple, Behold thy mother’. (John 19: 26, 27). Yet when earthly relationships were about to hinder Him in His service for His God and Father, He had to say, ‘What have I to do with thee, woman? Mine hour has not yet come’ (John 2:4). This was no lack of love, but a matter of taking the right step at the right time in His service. Natural affections are good; they are given by God, but they do not necessarily lead to carrying out the will of God, which must take priority.

We read that "when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto Him, They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? Mine hour is not yet come. His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever He saith unto you, do it." (vv. 3-5.) The following remark of another will help to elucidate the meaning of this scripture: "At the feast (marriage) He would not know His mother: this was the link of His natural relation with Israel, which, looking at Him as born under the law, was His mother. He separates Himself from her to accomplish blessing." This will serve to explain the typical nature of this scene to which allusion has been made. And truly it was so, that, if Jesus was born of a woman, born under the law, He had to die out from under all these relationships, having perfectly glorified God therein, and having redeemed those who were under the law by being made a curse for them, before He could effectuate Israel's blessing. The corn of wheat had to fall into the ground and die if it were to bring forth much fruit.

But there is another thing to be remembered. Jesus had already communicated to His mother, as we have before seen, that He must be about His Father's business; and having come to do His will, He did it at every step in communion with the Father, whether as to time or manner. As He Himself said, "The Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He seeth the Father do: for what things soever He doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise," etc. (Chap. 5:19-20.) It was impossible, therefore, for Him to receive a suggestion as to what He should do from Mary; and even by the making it Mary was intruding into a province which was exclusively confined to the Father and the Son. That what she said was the prompting of kindness, and that it was, at the same time, expressive of her belief in the power of Jesus, can scarcely be denied; but in the region of Christ's entire and perfect devotedness no voice could be heard but His whose will He had come to do. This will explain to us the words, "Woman, what have I to do with thee? Mine hour is not yet come."*

Nevertheless, when the wine runs short, He will not intervene at the instigation of His mother. He says, "Woman, what have I to do with thee? Mine hour is not yet come". Through His mother the Lord was connected with Israel and the law. By refusing to act in connection with the mother, He shows that all that He did, as presented in this Gospel, flowed from His relationship as the Son with the Father, and not from natural relationships with the mother or legal relationships with Israel. In this gospel the Lord is ever viewed as outside all earthly relationships, as a heavenly Man bringing in "heavenly things" (John 3:12). He thus manifested forth His glory as being in relationship with the Father, as carrying out His will and finally securing joy for man.

303 The Lord's making John the guardian of His mother explains, "what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come." But when His hour was come, and He had done the work, He could turn to recognise the relationship, seeing He was now no longer engaged in serving His Father on earth.

There are many things sweet and pleasant in themselves that can never be presented to God as an offering in a world of sin. Nothing can be offered to Him that is the mere satisfaction of nature; simple natural affection, though right in itself (nay, it is a sin to be without it), is no offering to God. Our Lord's love to His mother was perfect: we see this in His remembrance of her on the cross; but when first He begins, and all through His ministry, He says, "Woman, what have I to do with thee? "