Should a Christian go to prom?

We can make no rule about entertainment. The buoyancy of youth demands a certain amount of liberty which, if kept under godly limits and controlled by godly principles, is all right. For my own part, I have no desire to visit exhibitions and other shows, not on the ground that these amusements are sinful, but simply because I am satisfied without them. Christ and His interests are enough. Besides, souls are perishing and eternity is nearing, and I have neither time nor inclination to mingle with the world in admiring its toys and sharing in its pleasures.

There are, however, many games and amusements of an entirely innocent character which we may freely enjoy without joining with the world. I am not too old to heartily enter into and thoroughly enjoy recreation with young people. Our homes should be bright, happy and attractive.

This is commonly the case where young persons of opposite sexes mingle much together. There is no reason why Christian young men and women should not meet and enjoy one another’s company in a pure and holy way. But often it is otherwise. If you feel there is a snare in such commingling, then be honest with your own souls and avoid what might dishonor Christ and hinder spiritual growth. Timothy was exhorted to treat elder brethren with the reverence due to fathers, “younger men as brethren; the elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity” (1 Timothy 5:1,2). The last three words are important, and if overlooked, will lead to many a snare. Young people need recreation; older ones, too, for that matter. It is a mistake to suppose that body and mind must always be keyed up to serious pursuits. “Bodily exercise profiteth [a] little” (1 Timothy 4:8)—not a great deal, but a “little.” Therefore beware of giving it an undue place, but do not neglect it. And in all your recreation see that there is nothing that hinders godliness, for godliness is of profit both in this life and the next.

The first is stated in verse 4. We may call it the principle of Christian liberty. In these matters that have to do with personal behaviour and conscientious service to the Lord, we are set free from the lordship of our brethren, by being set under the over-lordship of Christ. We may be right or wrong in our judgment, but the thing of prime importance is that we each, with a single eye for our Master, do what we believe to be pleasing to Him. The exhortation which hinges upon this is, "Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind."

God intends us to be exercised as to such matters, each for himself. Were there a definite command in Scripture there need not be the exercise. Then, simple obedience is the only course pleasing to God. But these other matters, how many they are. Should I go here or there? Should I partake of this or that? May I enjoy this pleasurable recreation or not? Ought we to carry out this service or this ordinance in this way or that way? What acrimonious and harmful controversies have raged around such questions. And the answer is so simple. Let the wrangling cease! Hands off each other! Each man to his own knees, in the presence of his own Master, that he may get, as far as in him lies, the knowledge of his Master's will.

What then does all this mean? It evidently means that it pleases God that in the church there shall be a number of things as to which no rules are given, but the saints are left to be tested and exercised by them. As they are exercised they grow, and become "of full age … their senses exercised to discern both good and evil" (Heb. 5:14). Should I eat, or should I not eat? Or again, that feast spoken of in 1 Cor. 10:27; should I go, or should I not go? How easy to have issued the command, "Under no circumstances go to any feast where there is the smallest chance of the host furnishing you with meat which has been offered to idols." But the command was not issued. Of course I may not be disposed to go, but if I am disposed, I am left at liberty to go, with the instruction to consider the conscientious feelings of others, if they express them.

Still, the conscience was to determine the man's actual way. "To him that esteems anything to be unclean, it is unclean." And love, which is the bond of perfectness, would keep a man who walked by that rule from grieving his brother's conscience with his liberty of meats (verse 15). It is to be remarked, that the exercise and privilege of personal liberty is founded on individual faith. It it thus a private matter strictly. It is a constituent part of that perfect blessing in liberty which makes the believer free and happy anywhere and everywhere as being Christ's, and seeing, and touching, and using nothing that is not Christ's. Where, therefore, a Christian is associated with others, this conscious feeling of liberty (though ever held firmly fast in his heart) is to be tempered in practice by the mightier principle of love. He is not to think of himself, but to have respect to the state and requirements of those with whom he is associated, or before whom he walks.

Practically, peace and edification are to be the great aim in all these debatable points. If thou hast faith, instead of doubts, so much the better, but have it to thyself before God. Blessed is he who does not judge himself in what he allows, (or approves,) but he who doubts is condemned if he eat, because it is not from faith; but whatsoever is not from faith is sin: that is, whatever is not done in liberty of faith.

We fully sympathize with you in your dread of acting under mere impulse. It is always well to be sure of every step we take, to be able to give a “Thus says the Lord” for whatever we do or whatever we refuse to do. Very much damage is done to the cause of truth and vital godliness by impulsive acting and by what we may term spasmodic devotedness. We greatly value calm, deeptoned decision for Christ — a decision produced by genuine love to His Person and profound subjection to the authority of His Word. These things are most needful in this day of man's will, man's judgment and man's reason. As to the matter which seems to exercise your heart, you must simply act before the Lord. It is entirely a question for your own conscience. Do not act on the judgment of another. If you feel free in conscience before God, it is better to continue as you have done for the sake of others. By all means, keep a good conscience, cost what it may.

Was it a question of what was merely "lawful"? Indeed, no legal attitude of "touch not, taste not, handle not" is implied at all; for that kind of thing is contrary to Christianity. But were they not wise enough to judge as to what is becoming to those redeemed by the blood of Christ? Did not their own faith and conscience, as well as the Word of God, enlighten them in these matters? Paul at least sought the positive character of things, things expedient or becoming, and that might be for true edification, the building up of souls. A principle of great value here is urged upon the saints: "Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth." If the blessing of others is honestly sought, this will itself give a more proper perspective as to my own personal conduct; while mere selfishness will always leave me susceptible to Satanic influence. And let us avoid the subtle suggestion that we are kind and unselfish if we mingle with others in wrong associations: this is neither faithfulness to God, nor actual kindness to others.

Necessarily, the things in which one has to yield here, therefore, are things indifferent. That is what the apostle is speaking of, of meats and drinks and days. It is supposed that on both sides the authority of the Lord is owned. One cannot be really liberal in things that are not one's own. One can give up one's own liberty where it is simply a question of that, and not only we can, but we ought. The supposition here is of religious scruple entirely, not of people without conscience, but of conscience in fact rigidly governed by that which to them, whatever be the truth of it, is the will of the Lord. If a man eats, he eats to the Lord, or if he eats not, it is still to the Lord; if he observes the day, he observes it to the Lord, or to the Lord he does not observe it. Here a question may be raised with regard to the Lord's Day. How does the principle here affect that? It would seem that it does not come into the question; just because the Lord's Day is given us not in the way of legal command, but as a privilege which must be accepted as privilege in order for the observance to be anything really acceptable to God, — not that it is supposed that a Christian could have a scruple religiously about observing the day in this case or on this ground. Religious scruples are the whole matter here and who could scruple to avail himself of the privilege of giving up a day to the Lord, a day free for him to be occupied with his own things, and in such a manner as we find Scripture before us? Question here, therefore, could scarcely be made. What the apostle has before him is, of course, as the meats and drinks show, the Jewish distinction of meats and days, which has passed away, but which, nevertheless, may have a real power over the minds of some who realize that these things were once given of God, and who do not see how He has brought us out of them. Here the principle applies which the apostle has stated elsewhere, that to those who were under the law he became as under the law, "not being myself under the law," as he carefully adds; "that I might gain those that are under the law." These are the questions, but the principle as we have said, the first principle here, is that the conscience is to be before the Lord alone; and that we are to leave every Christian free to act before God. We must not judge. The Lord will do that. "Every knee shall bow to Him and every tongue confess to God." It is of the first importance that in every question of conscience this should be maintained.