Is there such a thing as soul mates? Does God have one specific person for you to marry?

The more we get to know and trust our Father, we experience that He gives only good gifts to His children. He knows whether or not we are best to be married, and He knows how we will be able to serve Him best. So if we are to remain single we know that His will is best - indeed in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 Paul says that to remain single is better. If He wants us to be married He will have prepared a partner for us before we were born and He knows best how to bring us together.

The marriage of Adam is the prototype of the marriage of all his sons. In every case of true matrimony, God arranges the union. Divine wisdom observes the moment when the loneliness of the man is no longer good for him, and He provides a bride who is the complement of his nature with its personal characteristics. Adam had no choice of brides; there was but the one that would suit him, and she was prepared of God especially for him. Adam had no rivals for the possession of Eve. Nor can such a thing be imagined in Eden, where each of the two found in the other everything required to complete their enjoyment and to perfect their capacities. There was no alternative that either could have chosen or found.

The primitive marriage in Eden was remarkably simple and exclusive. Two only shared the delights of the occasion. And this mutual reserve is a character marriage still retains. In matrimony two hearts, two lives become one exclusively in each other. At every wedding a new little world is formed with a total population of two numerically, but administratively of one only. How happy the new experience, and how momentous!

It cannot be insisted too strongly that this is a relationship of grace. No thought of merit on Adam's part is suggested, when God, in His solicitous care, made the woman, "and brought her unto the man" (Gen. 2:22). This was a provision entirely by the goodness of God. Both the man and the woman were in a position to do nothing but thank God that this gracious union was His sovereign work. Adam was not able to choose a wife as he pleased, nor was Eve able to choose her own husband. God had arranged this marriage. How good too that His grace alone brings guilty sinners to His Son, and unites with Him His chosen Bride.

Is this not the pattern of every true marriage? In His sovereign wisdom and providence, does He not, at his own time, and in His own way, bring together two young lives (or older), and where there is true faith in Him, give them both the clear assurance of His own leading, that they may with confidence be joined together "in the Lord"? May the young believer settle for nothing less than this, for otherwise he may find the results tragic in the extreme.

"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they two shall be one flesh." Ephesians 5 v 31.

There is only one ideal for marriage running right through the Scriptures, and that is one man joined to one woman. Nowhere do we get the idea that we should try various partners before choosing the right one. We see that the selection of a partner was often made by parents, or sometimes as a reward; but the suggestion in the New Testament is of the choice of two people to come together of their own free will; only in the will of the Lord.

Up to the time of a man's marriage the chief relationship in which he stands is that of a son, and his responsibility is towards his parents, but when he marries he leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife. Henceforward she becomes his chief care, for he and she are no more twain but one flesh.

Every right-minded man will look upon his wife as the only woman in the world for him, he will desire no other; and that not because he has chosen her for his wife, but because God has joined them together. He will look upon her as the very woman that God made for him; he will treat her as God's gift to him, and more, he will treat her as himself, for they twain have become one flesh; and that by no mere ordinance of man, but by God's own act and decree, hence "what God has joined together let not man put asunder."

Every right-minded man will look upon his wife as the only woman in the world for him, he will desire no other; and that not because he has chosen her for his wife, but because God has joined them together. He will look upon her as the very woman that God made for him; he will treat her as God's gift to him, and more, he will treat her as himself, for they twain have become one flesh; and that by no mere ordinance of man, but by God's own act and decree, hence “what God hath joined together let not man put asunder.”

In the beginning of the Bible God says, “ It is not good for man to be alone”. Genesis 2 verse 18. He knows what is best for us and so provides a “help-mate”. Marriage is what He has instituted.

Still more important is the choice of a wife. How necessary to continually pray for the Lord’s guidance – that He might lead each of us to that special one of whom He can say, “I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18).

As a young man I had many lessons to learn. I thought I knew all the answers but at the age of seventeen I came to realise that I needed to completely rethink my attitude to this subject. I came to the conclusion that God knew what was best for my life and if He wanted me to be married He would guide me to the right person when His time was right. I did not want to do anything that would prevent my receiving His best. I realised that God knew how to give me a wife, if that was His will, so I determined that I would not in any way commit myself to anyone until I was sure it was the Lord's will. (I was sure that in such an important matter I would not be in any doubt.) I made a simple rule for myself that I would not go out alone with or show attachment to any girl until I was sure of God's will. This way I avoided being carried along by a momentary whim.

God created all the good things we associate with courtship: love, joy, happiness and the physical and mental attraction of the opposite sex. Only as led in the will of God will these things be enjoyed to the full if we leave the choice of our partner to God: His choice and in His time.