How should Christian parents handle the death of a child?

I do earnestly pray that this sorrow may be blessed to you and to all your dear children, that they may see how near death is, but the Lord still nearer. Assure dear M. how truly I sympathise with him. A father's sorrow, though of another character, is not less deep than a mother's. You must expect that, as time passes on, the present feeling of loss will diminish, and in a certain sense pass away too. Not that the affectionate remembrance of your poor little babe will be at all gone; but its character will be changed, and your living children and daily occupations will make it less absorbing. This is natural, and in one sense right. Living duties have their place, which cannot be rightly yielded to absorbing affections. What I would earnestly recommend to you is, to profit of the moments when the impression and present effect of it is strong; to place yourself before God, and reap all the fruit of His dispensations and tender grace. It is a time when He searches and manifests His love to the heart at the same time. May you grow much by this - surely to a mother's heart - painful occurrence.

403 I do earnestly pray that this sorrow may be blessed to you and to all your dear children, that they may see how near death is, but the Lord still nearer. Assure dear M - how truly I sympathise with him. A father's sorrow, though of another character, is not less deep than a mother's. You must expect that, as time passes on, the present feeling of loss will diminish, and, in a certain sense, pass away too. Not that the affectionate remembrance of your poor little babe will be at all gone; but its character will be changed, and your living children and daily occupation will make it less absorbing. This is natural, and, in one sense, right. Living duties have their place, which cannot be rightly yielded to absorbing affections. What I would earnestly recommend to you is to profit by the moments when the impression and present effect of it is strong; to place yourself before God, and reap all the fruit of His dispensations and tender grace. It is a time when He searches and manifests His love to the heart at the same time. May you grow much by this - surely to a mother's heart - painful occurrence.

I sympathise with you, dear brother, in the loss of your children. I was told of it. It is a sorrowful blow for the heart of the parents - that one can understand, and I believe not less sensibly on the part of those who are not, according to the measure of the Spirit of Christ. He felt, in a manner a little different it is true, the death of Lazarus, more than those who took part at it. But all this belongs to that which is down here, where everything is passing and everything is changing. But He is all the time our God. He wept, but He raised. He sympathises with us, but He has introduced the power of good, of God Himself, in the midst of evil. For us, we have to wait for the result, but it is none the less sure. I in nowise doubt that all children that die are with Him; and it is there we find that which abides, that which is perfect, that which is all of Him. We wait, but He also waits to have us. We wait with longing, but He who shall come will come, and will not tarry. We have need of patience, that after having done the will of God we may inherit the effect of the promise. I trust that Mrs.-'s heart rests in the Lord in this sorrow. It is comforting to do so; His grace is perfect. …

We desire again to hear of dear Baby. I fear that she must be an object of some painful solicitude to you and dearest sister, but you will both learn, I am sure, by the effectual teaching of God Himself, to repose your little darling in the arms of the Lord. The sufferings of an infant deeply present the sinfulness of sin to us. We are ready to say, 'What hath sin wrought?' but you remember those comforting and, I believe, sound words, 'They die, for Adam sinned; they live, for Jesus died.'

I thank you and dear M- much for having thought of sending me the account of the accident to your dear babe. It is indeed a sore trial to see one who is a part of ourselves thus taken off at one blow, and unexpectedly. Still, what a difference, to have the Lord's love to look to, and to believe one's babe - as I surely do - the object of it. It is a consolation which changes everything, because everything is changed. The knowledge of the love of God, which is come into this place of death, has brightened with the most blessed rays all its darkness; and the darkness even only serves to shew what a comfort it is to have such a light. There is nothing in the heart but light: nothing can make darkness when we have it. It is a world of sorrow; and the longer we know it, and the nearer even we walk to the Lord, the better we shall know it to be such. I do not mean that none of our sorrows are chastenings: we know that they often are such to His most beloved ones, as we see in Job. By all, save Christ, there is all grace to be learned by them; and even He entered into the sorrows of others, as arising from their faults and foolishness; for His sympathies were perfect, and, blessed be God, they are.

Here it is the Father's will which He has come to carry out, and it is not the Father's will that one of these little ones should perish. How sweet and perfect an assurance! It is only the contrary will of man that hinders his salvation: on God's part there can be no contrary one: "As I live, saith the Lord, I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth." Thus the little ones removed from us by death we may trust confidently to the divine love which waits on them. Our assurance as to them is rooted in the unchangeableness of the divine nature.

We believe that Matthew 18:10-14 furnishes the foundation of the precious truth of the salvation of infants. Do you not believe this? Are you not fully persuaded that all who die in infancy are saved? That inasmuch as their little bodies undergo the penalty of Adam's sin, their precious souls partake of the benefit of Christ's atonement! Well, if you believe this, why should your heart be troubled as to the destiny of your infant child in the event of the Lord's coming? Can you not fully trust that blessed One who, in the days of His flesh, said with such touching tenderness, “Suffer the little children to come to Me and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of God?” Can your heart entertain for a moment the unworthy thought that your gracious Lord, when He comes for His people, could take the mother to be with Himself and leave her babe behind to perish?

Now, dear friend, is not this a precious answer to your question? Is it not divinely calculated to hush all your anxiety in reference to your precious babe in the event of the Lord's coming? Do you think the loving Savior who uttered these words, will ignore them when He comes for His Church? The very thought is blasphemy. Ah! no; our loving Lord will be fully glorified in receiving to His bosom and taking to His home the infant children of His people, as well as the parents. It is not His will now, and it cannot be His will then, that one of these little ones should perish. May your heart find settled rest as to this question in the eternal truth of God and in the rich and precious grace which shines so brightly and blessedly in Matthew 18:10-14. Back

"G. K." If memory serves us, we have, on a former occasion, referred to the question of the salvation of all who die in infancy. Here is our authority, "Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say to you, that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven. For the Son of man is come to save that which is lost." The body of the infant dies because of Adam's sin; the soul of the infant is saved by the death of Jesus.

Again we see the loving thoughtful sympathy of our Lord; and again let us remember He is the same today. Perhaps you have lost a little one. That "little darling" is not lost: He will give it back again: not in just the way He gave Jairus back his little darling, but in a better way. You remember when Job lost all his children, and all his goods: he got back double as many of the possessions, but only the same number of children, for the Lord was going to give him back the other children. They were not lost; but only gone on a little before their father. And what comfort to remember the Lord sees our children today as "little darlings". Perhaps others do not; but the Lord does. And He has purchased them with His own blood, and loves them so dearly that He would have each darling child in His Home, with Himself, for ever.