How is sorrow better than laughter (Ecclesiastes 7:3)?

It is true that we learn what is really life from our sorrows rather than by our joys. So the wise man tells us, “It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better” (Eccl. 7:2-3). There is no shadow of doubt, that when the tried and suffering saint gets to glory, and sees things in heavenly light, he will realise that it was his exercises in times of sorrow and stress, that taught him most precious lessons, proving to him what life really is. It was well sung: “And many a rapturous minstrel, Among those saints of light, Will say of his sweetest music, I learned it in the night. And many a rolling anthem That fills the Father’s Home, Sobbed out its first rehearsal In the shade of a darkened room.”

The question has been often asked, Why does God allow the people on whom He has set His love to suffer in this way? and the answer is simple. It is because He loves them. There may be, there are, other reasons, but this is the chief. Whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and if the heart wander chastening is necessary. The wise man tells us, "By sorrow the heart is made better," and experience teaches us the truth of this. How readily will evil attach itself to the best of us! but in the furnace of affliction the dross is separated from the purer metal, and consumed. Moreover, when we endure chastening, God deals with us as with sons; and every trial which visits us, were we but patient under it, would be fruitful in blessing to our souls. True, the experience of passing through the trial is not pleasant; it would be no trial if it were; but a morning of joy succeeds the night of sorrow, and in the quiet after-time we say with David, "It is good for me that I have been afflicted."

Prov. 22 opens with a kindred sentiment: "A name is rather to be chosen than great riches, favour is better than silver and gold." Men do not think so, still less so act; but thus it is; and the loss is irreparable. The day of death closes the sorrow of the world, into which birth ushers fallen man. No doubt, Christ changes all; but this is not the truth discussed here, but the present scene. Hence the profit of going to the house of mourning over that of feasting, and of rebuke from the wise over the song of fools: which is mere noise and blaze for a moment. Again, the affliction of life, or oppression, is apt to daze a wise man, as a gift to destroy the heart's purpose; so that the end of a matter is better than its beginning, and longsuffering than highmindedness. And as it is well to guard against hasty anger, so especially against retaining it. Nor do they enquire wisely who assume that the former days were better than these. Wisdom with an inheritance is good and profitable here below. It is a shadow or shelter, as is money, yet how differently! For the excellency of knowledge is, that wisdom gives life to him that has it. Hence the folly of fighting against the goads, of lack of sympathy with what God orders of joy or sorrow. Our true wisdom is in dependence on Him.

Here the Preacher turns from the argumentative strain of what precedes to hortative maxims of a practical kind, however paradoxical in form. They are wise words in the midst of vanity and sorrow, to guard the man when the evil cannot yet, be judged in power or redressed.

"A [good] name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth. [It is] better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that [is] the end of all men; and the living will lay it to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made glad. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools in the house of mirth. [It is] better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise, than to hear the song of fools. For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so [is] the laughter of the fool. This also [is] vanity. Surely oppression makes a wise man foolish; and a gift destroys the understanding. Better [is] the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit [is] better than the proud in spirit. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger rests in the bosom of fools. Say not thou, How is it that the former days were better than these? for thou dost not inquire wisely concerning this. Wisdom [is] good with an inheritance: yea, more excellent [is it] for them that see the sun. For wisdom is a defence, [even as] money [is] a defence: but the excellency of knowledge [is, that] wisdom preserves the life of him that has it. Consider the work of God: for who can make straight [that] which he has made crooked? In the day of prosperity enjoy good, and in the day of adversity consider: God has even made the one side by side with the other, to the end that man should not find out any thing that shall be after him" (vers. 1-14).

Sorrow is a good thing, and makes God a more abundant source of joy.

Yet the evil presses hard, and matters seem as if God were looking away: "Turn thee unto me, and be gracious to me: for I am solitary and afflicted." Sorrow individualizes us all, and that is part of the good of it: for thus grace and God become individualized also. The evil presses for attention. God suffers it to be felt, and even to increase: enlarged distresses — when working under the good hand of God — purify and enlarge the heart. This is by no means their necessary effect, however: apart from Him, they may harden and narrow it. But then apart from Him, prosperity will do the same: nothing is good, save as He works in it and through it for good.

There is a mourning that is far from making one blessed. Many can weep over a dead child that cannot mourn over a crucified Saviour. Worldly sorrows hasten our funerals. The sorrow of the world works death (2 Cor. 7:10).

There is danger for the afflicted to give up all their days to their grief; but this is to occupy one with nothing but circumstances of sadness. How wise to turn to Him who makes all things work together for good! This makes the heart cheerful, which is or has a continual feast.

Verses 1-14. All had been tested by the royal searcher; all was found out to be vanity and vexation of spirit. Darkness, discouragement, uncertainty and despair were the results. The good, that which is right and comely for men, supposedly, found had also turned unto vapor, empty and hollow like the rest. He starts now in a new direction; he turns moralist and philosophizeth on the better things. He climbs high with his reason and deductions. He had come to the conclusion that life is not worth living. Having riches, possession of everything, were found out nothing but vanity. Perhaps being good, having the better things morally, and doing good, will satisfy the heart in "which is set eternity," the soul of man, And so he makes his observations in seven comparisons.

the house of mourning is better than the house of feasting;

sorrow is better than laughter,