How is a virtuous woman a crown to her husband (Proverbs 12:4)?

If you wish a full-length portrait of a woman of worth, it is furnished in the last chapter of this Book. Such a woman is not only a blessing but "a crown" to her husband. For even if naturally or spiritually beyond him, she will not fail to hide herself behind and help efficiently under him as her head, to the good order of children and servants, as well as in the circle of their friends or foes. On the other hand, what a curse is she that makes ashamed, however it may be! It is an evil ever felt to be hopeless in itself. How truly described as "rottenness in his bones"!

Proverbs 31 is a lovely commentary on verse 4, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband." In the New Testament, Priscilla is clearly a lovely example (Acts 18:26). In fact, though in cases of public importance, Apollos is mentioned first, yet otherwise Priscilla has the first place, evidently because being outstanding spiritually. On the contrary, a wife who causes shame "is like rottenness in his bones." This was sadly true of Jezebel, wife of Ahab (1 Kings 21:25).

The mother is truly the center and the heart of the home. The attractions of home depend largely upon the attitude and spirit of the wife. The prudent wife who manages her household with wise and thrifty economy and graces the home with love and cheerfulness is a great blessing to her husband and children and to all who enter her home. A husband's success or ruin in life often depends upon his wife's conduct in the home. Many men today owe their position in life largely to the wisdom and sound judgment of their wives.

A wise woman who cares for her family with discernment, manages her budget economically, enriches her home with love and joy, is a great blessing to her husband and children, and to all who enter that home.

Moreover, her faith in Jehovah was exhibited unmistakably by her godly living and general demeanour; so much so that, as Boaz testified, the wise and upright men that sat in the gate of Bethlehem knew that she was "a woman of worth" (ver. 11). Already she had been recognised by the ruling elders as one who excelled in those womanly qualities which imparted worthiness or "virtue" to a housewife in Israel. This term is used elsewhere. Such a one is described by Solomon as "a crown to her husband" (Prov. 12:4). And the final twenty-two verses of this book of moral wisdom are an acrostic eulogy of "a woman of worth" (Prov. 31:10-31).

The common ensign of royalty and of victory, 2 Chr. 23:11; it is also used symbolically for honour or reward; as "a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband." Prov. 12:4. Paul speaks of those whom he had been the means of converting as his 'joy and crown;' his 'crown of rejoicing.' Phil. 4:1; 1 Thess. 2:19.

The next words take up the afflictions of family life, and give us salutary judgment. It is not merely a fool here, but "a foolish son," and he surely is "the calamity of his father." There is another who brings the calamity nearer still and more constantly, a contentious wife. Her cross and fractious spirit is a continual dropping. Not a spot in the house is safe from her turmoil.

Hence the importance of so looking to the Lord for a gracious and faithful counterpart. If house and wealth are an inheritance of fathers, as it generally was in Israel, a prudent wife was from Jehovah. What were the rest, however choice or abundant, where the meekness of wisdom failed in her who shared it all? If all else materially lacked, what comfort and happiness in having one from Jehovah who had His light within and around her!

Does the finding of good in a wife, in one worthy of that name, join on to this? Certainly no one has such opportunity of intimate knowledge and of giving help. She can avail as none else; and if for God, what a treasure to her husband, who might resent fidelity in another! What a favour from Jehovah!

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” Her speech is in all wisdom — there is “neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient”. But though in her conversation chaste, she is not austere; for “the law of kindness” is in her tongue. Her conversation is always in grace, yet seasoned with salt. There is a way of speaking which is as the piercings of a sword; and on the other hand there is a class of speech that is all honey. Both extremes are by this favoured woman happily avoided; while kindly in manner and tone, there is no winking at or smoothing over wrong or sin. “She looketh well to the ways of her household” — there is the faithful exercise of discipline in the circle of her own. Some would discard discipline entirely in the church — the house of God. Not so this noble helpmeet of her Husband; she watches carefully the conduct of those beneath her roof and under her authority. And there are those set in the church “who watch for our souls as those that must give account”. “Good, easy man” does not describe the “man of God”; he threatens to come “with a rod”; if remonstrance and loving admonition fail.

He is warned against lust and drink, and then comes a wonderful description of a virtuous woman. Her husband’s heart trusts her. She is industrious. She is farseeing. She rises early and retires late, so great is her energy. “Strength and honour are her clothing.” Her speech is wise and kind. Her children rise up and call her blessed, Her own works praise her in the gates.