How is a shameful wife rottenness to her husband's bones (Proverbs 12:4)?

If you wish a full-length portrait of a woman of worth, it is furnished in the last chapter of this Book. Such a woman is not only a blessing but "a crown" to her husband. For even if naturally or spiritually beyond him, she will not fail to hide herself behind and help efficiently under him as her head, to the good order of children and servants, as well as in the circle of their friends or foes. On the other hand, what a curse is she that makes ashamed, however it may be! It is an evil ever felt to be hopeless in itself. How truly described as "rottenness in his bones"!

Proverbs 31 is a lovely commentary on verse 4, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband." In the New Testament, Priscilla is clearly a lovely example (Acts 18:26). In fact, though in cases of public importance, Apollos is mentioned first, yet otherwise Priscilla has the first place, evidently because being outstanding spiritually. On the contrary, a wife who causes shame "is like rottenness in his bones." This was sadly true of Jezebel, wife of Ahab (1 Kings 21:25).

Next we have the vivid sketch of one who has to do with a helpmate whose wilful temper is the source of continual chagrin and shame. Yet the word of wisdom gives good counsel to relieve and comfort, notwithstanding such a calamity.

The next words take up the afflictions of family life, and give us salutary judgment. It is not merely a fool here, but "a foolish son," and he surely is "the calamity of his father." There is another who brings the calamity nearer still and more constantly, a contentious wife. Her cross and fractious spirit is a continual dropping. Not a spot in the house is safe from her turmoil.

Hence the importance of so looking to the Lord for a gracious and faithful counterpart. If house and wealth are an inheritance of fathers, as it generally was in Israel, a prudent wife was from Jehovah. What were the rest, however choice or abundant, where the meekness of wisdom failed in her who shared it all? If all else materially lacked, what comfort and happiness in having one from Jehovah who had His light within and around her!

Moreover, her faith in Jehovah was exhibited unmistakably by her godly living and general demeanour; so much so that, as Boaz testified, the wise and upright men that sat in the gate of Bethlehem knew that she was "a woman of worth" (ver. 11). Already she had been recognised by the ruling elders as one who excelled in those womanly qualities which imparted worthiness or "virtue" to a housewife in Israel. This term is used elsewhere. Such a one is described by Solomon as "a crown to her husband" (Prov. 12:4). And the final twenty-two verses of this book of moral wisdom are an acrostic eulogy of "a woman of worth" (Prov. 31:10-31).

"Whoso loves correction loves knowledge, but he that hates reproof [is] brutish. "A good [man] obtains favour of Jehovah, but a man of mischievous devices will he condemn. "A man shall not be established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous shall never be moved. "A woman of worth [is] a crown to her husband, but she that makes ashamed [is] as rottenness in his bones. "The thoughts of the righteous [are] judgment, the counsels of the wicked deceit. "The words of the wicked [are] a lying-in-wait for blood, but the mouth of the upright shall deliver them. "Overthrow the wicked, and they [are] no more; but the house of the righteous shall stand." Prov. 12:1-7.

"In the multitude of people [is] the King's glory; but in the lack of people [is] the ruler's downfall. "One slow to anger [is] of great understanding; but the hasty of spirit holds up folly. "A sound (or, tranquil) heart [is] the life of the flesh, but envy the rottenness of the bones. "He that oppresses the poor reproaches his Maker; but he that honours him is merciful to the needy. "The wicked is thrust down by his evil doings; but in his death the righteous trusts. "Wisdom rests in the heart of the intelligent; but [what is] in the inwards of fools is made known. "Righteousness exalts a nation; but sin [is] a reproach to peoples. "The King's favour [is] toward a wise servant, but his wrath to him that causes shame."

It is beautiful to see here how fully and freely Samuel resigns his authority to Saul. There is no restraint, but heartily and ungrudgingly he pours the anointing oil upon his head. Without reserve he performs the rite that marks Saul out as supreme head of the nation. This is very lovely, and exhibits the prophet as a man of remarkably generous spirit, devoid of jealousy, without ambition for himself or his sons, desiring only that Jehovah's will might be done in him and the nation. Would that we all did imitate him in this, as the apostle exhorts, "In honor preferring one another; ",and again, "Let no man seek his own, but every man another's [profit]" (Rom. 12:10; 1 Cor. 10:24). How we lack in that love, that "seeketh not her own." "Jealousy is cruel as the grave," and "envy is as rottenness to the bones," but joy in another's profit, the promotion of our neighbor, this is a spirit all too rare in this selfish world. May it be cultivated diligently by the believer who desires to be more like his blessed Master, who was "meek and lowly in heart," or even as His forerunner John, who unregretfully said, "He must increase, but I must decrease."

The relation between faith and hope. Faith, as we have seen, leans upon Christ, and hope hangs by faith. Faith's hold of a Saviour in your life, and the consciousness of that hold makes you hopeful. There is, indeed, a species of hope which has no connection with faith. Houses built upon the sand present a goodly appearance while the day is fair. Men first wish that God were not so just as the Bible represents him to be, and thereafter believe their own lie. The hope which they hug is not a living hope. In the hour of need it will be as rottenness in the bones."

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord" (v. 22). This is normally true, for as the Lord said in Genesis 2:18, "It is not good that man should be alone." There are exceptions, as we well know, for sometimes wives become virtual snares to their husbands, as for instance Jezebel, who stirred up her husband Ahab to do evil (1 Kings 21:25). But Proverbs 31:10-31 gives a lovely contrast to this example of evil, showing the great blessing of finding a virtuous woman. But it is not a man's good character that deserves a virtuous wife, but rather the favor (or grace) of the Lord that brings her to him.