How can I learn to not take offense at little things?

First, such action on our part will require self-discipline or self-judgment, in the measure in which we are concerned for the good of others. Lowliness (v.2) is the willingness to be thought little of, not natural or easy for the flesh, but normal for the one who truly delights in Christ, the meek and lowly One. Meekness is the character that is willing to sacrifice personal rights for the Lord's sake with no selfish resistance. Thus, lowliness gives no offense and meekness takes no offense. Longsuffering continues patiently to bear hard things -- misunderstandings, injustices, even insults -- without frustration or anger. Forbearing. is more than bearing, for it implies no resentful reaction whatever, even inwardly, for it is motivated by genuine love.

We were told that one of the enquiries of a missionary society, into the character of applicants for the mission field, was to find out if they got on with their fellow workers in the homeland. If it was found that they were easily offended, touchy if they did not get the notice taken of them that they expected, inclined to fall out with their fellow workers, they were turned down. Humility of mind would save us from such touchiness, from taking offence and the like.

(8) Love “is not quickly provoked”. The flesh is ever touchy and quick to take offence and resent insults. Love is slow to anger and not easily provoked. Love, indeed, can be provoked, for in this very Epistle we are warned that it is possible to provoke the Lord (1 Cor. 10:22); but the Lord is slow to anger; He is not quickly provoked.

No doubt, there is the deeper pain if our trial come from His children, and the keener if from such as we specially trusted and valued. But the point for the soul, and above all for God, is not what this one has done or that said (lest it should rankle and inflame), but am I above it all by grace? am I self-restrained through (not self, but) Christ working in me? This enables one not to feed on what provokes, but to think on the things lovely, and of good report, which heat on our own account makes us forget. If others stumble, am I manifesting Christ?

To indulge in anger hastily is ever a danger, as it is true discretion to be slow in yielding to it. Better still is it to pass over an offence however real. It is his glory. He that is higher than the highest sets the pattern of grace.

Meanwhile, for us the great principle of forgiveness is what we have need to remember. We have specially to remind our souls in the case of anything that is against ourselves. May we at once look steadfastly at what our God and Father has done for us! If we can, in the presence of such grace, be hard for some trifling thing done against ourselves, let us bethink ourselves how the Lord judges here.

"Lowliness and meekness," then, are the first things pressed upon us by the Spirit of God as worthy of the vocation wherewith we are called. But closely associated with these, and indeed necessarily flowing out of them, are other graces mentioned in the same verse, "long-suffering, forbearing one another in love." The man who is prompt to resent injuries and assert rights is the man who has a high opinion of himself. If he sees himself in the nothingness to which grace reduces him, patience under injury, and forbearance towards those who have wronged him, will be the result. But still more will this be the case with those with whom he is made one in Christ. How can the man who is conscious of the grace that has remitted the ten thousand talents seize his brother by the throat and claim the hundred pence due to himself? If there is any sense of the love with which we are loved, and loved in spite of our coldness and deadness, our ingratitude and provocations — if there is any apprehension of the grace which bought us, and which still bears with us in all our perverseness and folly — long-suffering will be a comparatively easy thing, and forbearance in love will commend itself as suited to the state of one whose own failures and sins are continually calling for the forbearing love of our blessed Lord.

"Lowliness and meekness," then, are the first things pressed upon us by the Spirit of God as worthy of the vocation wherewith we are called. But closely associated with these, and indeed necessarily flowing out of them, are other graces mentioned in the same verse, "long‑suffering, forbearing one another in love." The man who is prompt to resent injuries and assert rights is the man who has a high opinion of himself. If he sees himself in the nothingness to which grace reduces him, patience under injury, and forbearance towards those who have wronged him, will be the result. But still more will this be the case with those with whom he is made one in Christ. How can the man who is conscious of the grace that has remitted the ten thousand talents seize his brother by the throat and claim the hundred pence due to himself? If there is any sense of the love with which we are loved, and loved in spite of our coldness and deadness, our ingratitude and provocations — if there is any apprehension of the grace which bought us, and which still bears with us in all our perverseness and folly — long‑suffering will be a comparatively easy thing, and forbearance in love will commend itself as suited to the state of one whose own failures and sins are continually calling for the forbearing love of our blessed Lord.

The vexation of the fool breaks out in immediate and uncontrollable anger. He forgets God, himself, and everybody else. On the other hand, he is prudent who conceals rather than exposes shame; he feels the insult, instead of despising his brother, and steeling his own breast in worldly pride. But his quiet spirit adds no fuel to the flame, and helps the offender perhaps to judge his unbridled impropriety. How prudent to ignore such provocations, to conceal shame not only from others but from ourselves!

So much for the character of the believer. What of his conduct? “Long suffering!” That does not mean to suffer for a little time, but LONG suffering, it may mean long years, a life-time, as we say “Forbearing one another IN LOVE.” How touchy we generally are! How we strike back and resent what we do not like! “IN LOVE!” That is the difficulty. We need, indeed, to be in the Spirit to do this. In these ways we endeavour “to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”