How can a Christian overcome social anxiety?

Isn’t it true that we make similar objections? Sometimes we feel too young or too ignorant to pray in the presence of others. Often, in fellowship at the Lord’s Table, we feel too timid to pray in the assembly! The years go by and we still feel too young or perhaps too inadequate, and we remain silent until middle age and finally old age arrives!

This will suffice as to the breaking of bread, barely as the subject has been touched. A few words remain to be added in regard to prayer. There is very often a great mistake made as to this. We hear, sometimes about the "gift of prayer;" but where do you find it? Show me a passage of scripture which speaks of a "gift of prayer" in the sense in which people commonly use the term? What is the effect? It largely hinders conscientious modest simple souls, who otherwise would join heartily in public prayer. But they cannot give themselves credit for possessing the "gift of prayer." They are frightened by what is a mere bugbear — by what is really, if they but knew it, a blunder. The consequence of this for them is, that they hang back, and are silent, when the meeting would be greatly benefited by their help. Are there not some now present who know well that they have had many a time a desire to pray, and thus express the wants of God's assembly to Himself, but who have been deterred because they feared their lack of a "gift of prayer," and that they might not be able to pray long enough, or in a way acceptable to some whom they have heard insisting on the "gift of prayer"? Is it not a fact? I entreat you, beloved friends, to listen to them no more, nor heed your own thoughts and feelings.

This will suffice as to the breaking of bread, barely as the subject has been touched. A few words remain to be added in regard to prayer. There is very often a great mistake made as to this. We hear, sometimes about the "gift of prayer;" but where do you find it I Show me a passage of scripture which speaks of a 11 gift of prayer" in the sense in which people commonly use the term? What is the effect? It largely binders conscientious modest simple souls, who otherwise would join heartily in public prayer. But they cannot give themselves credit for possessing the "gift of prayer." They are frightened by what is a mere bugbear-by what is really, if they but knew it, a blunder. The consequence of this for them is, that they hang back, and are silent, when the meeting would be greatly benefited by their help. Are there not some now present who know well that they have bad many a time a desire to pray, and thus express the wants of God's assembly to Himself, but who have been deterred because they feared their lack of a "gift of prayer," and that they might not be able to pray long enough, or in a way acceptable to some whom they have heard insisting on the "gift of prayer"? Is it not a fact ? I entreat You, beloved friends, to listen to them no more, nor heed your own thoughts and feelings.

p425 Dearest G Glenny, - You will have dear - with you before this letter reaches you, which will have relieved you for the moment, at any rate, from what presses upon you, but I fully sympathise with you. It is often my lot, and it grieves me. One can only cast oneself on the Lord, and pray to Him to develop what is wanting. It is not always a bad feeling, better than mere forwardness any way. Some people have more gift in drawing out others than others have (not of course at the meeting). But it is natural that at the first they should not feel much courage; but in looking to the Lord, He will draw this out. The work is His, and He alone can really do it. Meanwhile we have only to walk in simplicity. If opportunity is given, and we see it is only timidity in a person morally ripe, encourage them - I do not say invite, for this is another thing which does not do. It is taking the place of the leading of the Holy Ghost; and, while leaving every opportunity to others, as really desirous of their taking part, serve Christ yourself, as the Holy Ghost may lead you for the edification of all. God will develop what is right in due time. …

All this is very sorrowful; and perhaps my dear A. you will tell me that I am drawing too highly-coloured a picture. Alas! the picture is only too true. And what makes it all the more deplorable is, that one knows as a fact that many persons frequent our preaching-rooms and lecture-halls in the deepest exercise, and they are only longing to open their hearts to some one who could offer them a little spiritual counsel; but through timidity, reserve, or nervousness, they shrink from making any advance, and have but to retire to their homes and to their bedchambers, lonely and sad, there to weep in solitude because no man cares for their precious souls. Now I feel persuaded that much of this might be remedied if those Christians who attend the gospel preachings were more on the look out for souls: if they would attend, not so much for their own profit, as in order to be co-workers with God, in seeking to bring souls to Jesus.

Generally, however, matters stand the other way about. I have heard a good many affirm that their fellow Christians are so cold that they never get spoken to after the service or meeting. On closer investigation I nearly always find that these very people are noted for jumping up instantly the meeting closes and bolting without giving anyone the chance of a friendly handshake. They are cold, not their fellows. A frequent symptom of disease is that one complains of cold when really it is quite warm.

To shun the company of Christians is an early symptom of spiritual disease. When flock-masters or their shepherds see one sheep standing in a field quite apart from the rest they at once conclude that it is ill. When well, all keep together. Beware, then, of sulking alone. It is the stragglers who fall an easy prey to the wily foe.

If in my heart I fear a person, I cannot have fellowship with him. If I am afraid and tremble in his presence, how can our two hearts be knit together as one? Fear, distrust and suspicion destroy true fellowship.

In Malachi's day those that feared the Lord spake often one to another, and the Lord hearkened and heard. There you see a company of "their own." When you see one who claims to be a Christian going on in fellowship with the world, you may be sure that he is going wrong. Must we not do business in the world? Certainly. But to find congenial society in the world that cast out the Son of God is another thing. "If any one love the world, the love of the Father is not in him" (1 John 2:15). The apostles Peter and John had been brought up before the Sanhedrim as criminals because they had healed a poor cripple, for the natural heart of man will not have Christ. So they went to their own company, and they tell them all that befel them. "And they lifted up their voice," etc. Could they have done better? Nothing so good. They brought the matter into the presence of God, where is always our resource and hiding-place. One greatly admires the conduct of these men. They bring the matter to God, and that is truly the wise course. In this day we are not troubled by the authorities in the same way as they. There is no violent persecution; but there are often things we find ourselves powerless to move. The stolidness of the masses against the gospel; hearts bent on pleasure; how difficult to get people to hear the gospel. The best news that ever reached the ears of men and women is treated with contempt. Instead of sitting down and sighing over this great indifference, let us rather lift up our voices with "one accord" to Him who can control everything in heaven or earth. Let us get His ear; for can we not go into "the holiest" with assurance?

We Christians generally feel ashamed of letting our light slime. It takes courage to ask a blessing in a public restaurant. It takes courage to give tracts out. It takes courage to preach in the open-air.

This is what takes courage, far more than the excitement of public speech. If you doubt it, make a fair trial, and see how many hindrances you will meet in maintaining such a habit. If you are a victor in the closet, you will be prepared for the more open conflicts, and you will find that the battle has been already practically won. God can salute you as a mighty man of valor, and use you to help others. Again I ask, dear brethren, how is it with us?