How can a Christian avoid being a doormat for other people?

[4] This is the fourth point. Walking in step each one has his or her own responsibility. I cannot take someone else’s responsibility. If I interfere with somebody else’s responsibility I cause this other person to walk out of step, and that was what the Judaizers did. Paul says, “Bear ye one another’s burdens,”and “For every man shall bear his own burden.”It is the same word in English, but in the Greek there is a difference, for a different word is used in verse 2, meaning a heavy burden or a load. This can be a tremendous thing or it can be a small thing in our eyes, but there the point is that we should be available to help, whereas in verse 5 the word is used for something that you can andshould carry yourself, it is your own responsibility which nobody else can or should take, it clearly is a different word. It is a word we find also in Matthew 11 in connection with the yoke of Christ, where He says, “My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”There it is obviously our carrying the burden ourselves, and even then, in the context of Matthew 11, we see the Lord carries with us. Here in Gal. 6 the emphasis is on what we carry ourselves, according to our own responsibility towards God.

"For each one shall bear his own load" (v.5). In the final analysis, though we may at present "bear one another's burdens," each one of us is solitarily responsible only for our own work. We cannot transfer responsibility from ourselves to someone else. Nor should we have such an attitude as did Peter at one time, saying, "But Lord, what about this man?" (Jn.21:21). Therefore, while it is important that we have genuine compassion and care for others, we must not expect others to take responsibility for us, nor concern ourselves with what is their responsibility.

In Gal. 6:2, 5 both words are employed: "Bear ye one another's burdens (βά.) . . . . for every man shall bear his own burden (φο.)" We may and should in sympathy bear one another's troubles, and so on; but each one is responsible for his own 'bundle:' he cannot transfer it to another.

The Apostle closes this little section, with the brief words, joined closely to those we have just been considering: "For each one shall bear his own load." In the second verse we were exhorted to bear one another's burdens. But I am not to expect that my brother should bear my burden for me, whatever I may do for him: "For each one shall bear his own load." The word for "bear" is just the same as in the second verse, but the word for load is quite different. The word in verse 2 means a heavy burden; it is used of troubles, of faults, and of responsibilities in ordinary Greek, and if it refers to the sin of the brother who had a fall in verse 1, then we know that every sin and every fall must be a very heavy burden, when we come to realize what we have done. The load in verse 5 is the same word as the "light burden" that Christ speaks of in Matthew 11:30. It really means "something carried," whether it be heavy or light, and it is often used for a soldier's "pack."

With this humility and brokenness, the apostle connects heart-searching and examination of one's ways. "But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For every man shall bear his own burden" (Gal. 6:4-5). Gal. 6:5 in no way contradicts Gal. 6:2. In the earlier verse it is a question of sympathy with one another's infirmities. We are to be helpers of each other, bearing one another's burdens (bare). Here it is responsibility where each must stand alone; "every man shall bear his own burden" (phortion). Responsibility cannot be shifted to other shoulders; each individual saint will have to render his own account to God. Solemn consideration! We are apt to lose sight of the judgment-seat of Christ where all that we have done in the body will be gone into by the Lord. But to overlook it is dangerous. Grace does not do away with responsibility, but rather deepens it.

The point before the mind of the Spirit here is that every one should look to his own ways, that in the coming day he may have rejoicing as to himself. The word is needful and wholesome beyond all doubt. The heart is so treacherous that there is always a tendency to be occupied with the ways and failings of others rather than with our own. It is perfectly possible to complain loudly of a mote in the eye of another and be quite unconscious that a beam resides in one's own. A great advantage is thus given to the enemy, which he is never slow to avail himself of, to the sorrow and shame of the saints and above all to the Lord's dishonour. Let us esteem such ways, beloved brethren. While not overlooking evil in others, let us correct our own ways, remembering that each has to answer to the Lord for himself. Beware of mounting the judgment-seat; it is the prerogative of the Lord Jesus Christ.

With this humility and brokenness, the apostle connects heart-searching and examination of one's ways. "But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For every man shall bear his own burden" (Gal. 6:4-5). Gal. 6:5 in no way contradicts Gal. 6:2. In the earlier verse it is a question of sympathy with one another's infirmities. We are to be helpers of each other, bearing one another's burdens (bare). Here it is responsibility where each must stand alone; "every man shall bear his own burden" (phortion). Responsibility cannot be shifted to other shoulders; each individual saint will have to render his own account to God. Solemn consideration! We are apt to lose sight of the judgment-seat of Christ where all that we have done in the body will be gone into by the Lord. But to overlook it is dangerous. Grace does not do away with responsibility, but rather deepens it.

Since they had a fondness for law, the Galatians are directed to a law of a different character; "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ." In effect, the apostle says, If you will have law, here is a law for you; but it is the law of Christ, who was, and is, the great burden bearer: Who not only bore our sicknesses and carried our sorrows, but also bore the mighty burden of our sins in His own body on the tree. Now we have what might be called a Christian paradox. As fulfilling the law of Christ, we are to restore the fallen and bear the burdens one of another but in connection with work, every man shall bear his own burden. The apostle was no doubt referring to those who were seeking to destroy the foundations that he had laid; and for this they would have to give account to God. The day of appraisal is coming, when every man shall receive his own reward, according to his own labour. It is salutary to remember that grace never interferes with the exercise of God's government, nor modifies its application.

That soldier of Jesus Christ, of whom I have just spoken, had learned to travel with a very light pack, and perhaps that was the reason that she (for she was a lady-soldier) was able to bear more of the burdens of her sisters and brothers than any other person I ever knew. If we have filled up our own private load that we have to bear for ourselves with all sorts of things of our own, then we cannot expect to bear one another's burdens. We spoke of some burdens from which we are set free — our sins and the law — but there is another burden that is never meant for the shoulders of a Christian, and that is the heavy, heavy burden of anxiety. The Lord says: "Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6-7. He tells us also what to do with anxiety when it comes, as it so often does, trying to take possession of our hearts: "Casting all your anxiety upon Him, for it matters to Him about you." 1 Peter 5:7. But the word for "casting" here, is not the ordinary word to throw or cast or put; it means to hurl it away, as something we do not want to have anything to do with. It is the word used for the thirty pieces of silver, that became so terrible to Judas that he hurled them back to the chief priests into the inner temple. The Lord invites us to hurl our anxiety upon Him, for it matters to Him about us. If we fill up our pack with anxiety, we will never have any strength left to bear the burdens of one another. Christ is the great Burden Bearer: our sins, our griefs, our sorrows, our anxieties, our every burden, we may cast on Him. May we then learn from Him to make a habit of on the one hand ever bearing one an-other's burdens, and on the other hand, to always bear my own load. In Heb. 10:35 we are told of something we are not to "cast away" (a different word) and that is "our confidence, which hath great recompense of reward." Another has remarked, that too often "we cast away our confidence, and carry all our care."

There may be even physical violence, and not only is this to find us unresisting, but willing to bear further injustice, turning the other cheek. If a school bully were to beat up my child, this is not a question of my own rights merely. Rather, I am responsible for the child, and this should be reported to the school principal or to the parents of the bully. If one steals even our necessary garment (our cloak), we are not to strive to hold on to a garment more necessary still (our tunic) (v.29). Generally one would not steal another's garment unless he needed it, and we are to consider this. If it were a matter of a person stealing to increase his wealth, or, for instance one stealing a car for the fun of it, the police would actually require us to make a report, for the robber would be a threat to others besides ourselves.

As to giving to everyone who asks from us, this must be subject to sober wisdom; for someone may ask for a large amount to be spent on a project that is questionable, and concern for his own good might be reason to refuse this. We must also draw a firm line when people claiming to be the Lord's servants, urge us to give to their particular work. There are too many who take advantage of Christianity to make money. But if one is in need and asks for something to relieve that need, we ought to be fully prepared to give to him what is necessary. This attitude will result, by God's intervention, in receiving back in the same measure that we willingly give (v.38). The Lord is seeking in all of this to draw out the genuine faith of His people. He is certainly not "browbeating" His own! Also, if one has taken away what belongs to us, faith will make no demands for its return (v.30). However, if one borrows from another and forgets to repay him, it would be only right to remind the person of this, not because we want our rights, but to encourage the other person's reliability.

Our Lord comes next to the case of any practical injury that may be done us. It is not that it is wrong for a man to punish according to the injury that has been inflicted upon another. "An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth" is perfectly righteous; but our Lord intimates that we ought to be much more than righteous, we ought to be gracious; and He presses this as the climax of this part of the discourse. First, He had strengthened the righteousness of the law, extended its depths, and put aside its license; now He goes further. He shows that there is a principle in His own ways and life which teaches the Christian that he is not to seek retaliation. "But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." It is clear the Lord has no reference here to what governments have to do. The New Testament is written for the Christian, for that which has a separate existence and a peculiar calling in the midst of earthly systems and peoples. It belongs to those who are heavenly while they are walking upon earth. We become such by the reception of Christ, and to such the Lord says, "Resist not evil; but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." Personal injury is meant here. The evil done may be ever so undeserved, but it has to be overcome with good. Show that you are willing to take even more for Christ's sake. "And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also." There the law is evoked: that is, a man lays a claim, perhaps falsely, to one part of your clothing, and if he will "sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also." Here it seems not exactly a man appealing to the law, but the public officers themselves. "And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain." The great principle our Lord marks in this — whether it is human violence, or the law ever so hardly or wrongly applied, — that while, according to the law, you might go one step, according to the gospel you would go two. Grace does twice as much as the law, whatever may be the point in hand. It was never intended in anywise to supplant obligations or to lower responsibilities, but, on the contrary, to give power and force to everything that is righteous in the sight of God. The law might say, "An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth;" here there is not only the endurance of that which is positively wrong, but grace that gives more than is asked. "The law was given by Moses; but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ." And this is one way of practically showing how far we value grace. It is not a question of the mere letter of our Lord's words. If you were to limit it merely to a blow on the face it would be a very poor thing; but the word of Christ is that which conveys to me the spirit that pleases God, and gives me the reality of grace. And grace is not the vindication of self nor the punishment of a wrong, but the endurance of evil and the triumph of good over it. Christ is speaking of what a Christian has to put up with from the world through which he passes. He is to receive tribulation as the discipline which God sees to be good for his soul; the great spectacle before men and angels — that there are men on this earth who are allowed and rejoice to suffer for Christ, because they have learned to give up their own will, to sacrifice their own rights, and to suffer wrongfully, looking onward to the day when the Lord will own whatever has been their sorrow for His sake, and when all evil shall be judged most solemnly at His appearing and kingdom.

Our Lord says, in verse 42, "Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away." It is an example of a great general principle that the Lord is insisting upon; as He had laid bare the character of violence, so here of another thing — the solicitation that addresses itself to the kindness of heart of a Christian. "Give to him that asketh thee." Most certainly this is a comely and a gracious thing; but it is perfectly plain the Lord is not pressing upon His people that the thing be done heedlessly, nor as a mere gratification of their feelings, but with a conscience towards God. Supposing a person came to ask you for something, and you have reason to think that he would spend it improperly, you must limit it. Why not? He might say to you, Did not the Lord enjoin, "Give to him that asketh thee?" Certainly; but the Lord has given certain other words by which I judge as to the propriety of giving in each particular case. The asker might be going to do what I am sure would be absurd or wrong; am I still to give? or is not another principle introduced, namely, due discrimination? Perhaps he that asks has plans of his own which I believe to be worldly: am I to gratify his worldliness? What the Lord has in view is real need; and as there was wont to be great indifference to this among the Jews, as indeed such is apt to be everywhere, the Lord not merely insists upon the Christian helping his brother, but takes the broadest ground in urging generous giving; not, of course, for anything we may get by it, but out of love according to God.

"Give to him that asketh thee." We all know there are those who would impose. This shuts up and often hinders pity; and it may oftener still be an excuse for not showing pity. The Lord is guarding against the snare, and shows the great moral value, for our own souls and for the glory of God, of habitual, considerate, ungrudging kindness towards the distressed in this world. Not that I am always to give what a person asks, for he may seek something foolish; but still "Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away." Do you count up how often you have been deceived? Even then why be sore? You are entitled, at the word of Jesus, to do it as unto your Father. The receiver of your bounty may apply it to a bad use: that is his responsibility. I am bound to cultivate unsuspicious generosity, and this quite independent of mere friendship. Even the publicans and sinners are kind to those who are kind to them; but what ought a Christian to be? Christ determines the position, conduct and spirit of the Christian. As He was a sufferer, they are not to resist evil. If there was need, the Lord's heart went out to it. They might turn His love against Himself, and use the gifts of His grace for their own purposes, like the man who was healed, heedless of the Lord's warning and the sense of His benefits. But the Lord, perfectly knowing it all, goes on steadfastly in His path of doing good, not in the mere vague thought of benevolence to man, but in the holy service of His Father.