Does the Bible really say that parents should have their rebellious children stoned?

"And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear and fear" (Deut. 21:18-21).

What an appalling scene! Next to the one in the wood of Ephraim, referred to at the end of the preceding chapter, there is hardly any of equal awfulness throughout the Old Testament. Parents, commanded by Jehovah Himself, Who "is Love" as He "is Light," to lay hold of their own off-spring, and bring him before the elders and the congregation, to be stoned! It was a private affair — a family matter. What had the elders and the congregation to do with it? God had to say to it, and to see to it! In His sight, there is, next to the abomination of an idol, nothing more horrible and unbearable than a rebellious child. Its existence was a spot to the camp where God dwelt. The congregation had to purge itself from its presence, else the whole congregation of Israel, as well as the family to which the rebellious son belonged, would have been defiled by his continued presence.

The sin of disobedience and rebellion is here dealt with in connection with drunkenness; not because drunkenness was the capital sin (comp. v. 18), but because the crime of such stubbornness and disobedience to parents is of such an unnatural and dastardly character, that it can be only imputed to the maddening influence of drink, whilst showing at the same time, that drunkenness cannot be admitted as a plea for such a crime before God, as it ought not to be, and, generally, is not admitted as a plea before human judges.

But what, in the case of a stubborn and rebellious son in a Christian family; rare, I trust, as such a terrible case may be? Is grace to prevail, and he to remain in the house, because the law of Moses is no longer applicable? Is the stubborn and rebellious son to stay, until he has infected all the children with the leaven of his wickedness, and turned the whole into a mutinous camp? Fearful, indeed, in its consequences, would be the sinful folly, and awfully solemn the responsibility of the over-indulgent parent in such a case! If the word of love and grace, and the rod of chastisement have proved ineffectual, the family ought, without further delay, to be purged from the defiling presence of the rebellious child, and the door shut upon him. God's blessing cannot rest upon a household where He is dishonoured by the sufferance of such an abomination in His sight. Let the obstinate one learn, under the iron rule and the heavy yoke of the stranger, to appreciate and bow to the sacred claims of a loving father's or mother's authority, and in the icy atmosphere of a selfish world, to yearn and long for the genial flame of the homely hearth, and the peaceful haven of his family, the privileges and affections of which he had spurned. If, in such an extreme, deplorable case, outraged parental authority has firmly and graciously asserted its inalienable claims, and thus the sanctuary of the family been purged from that which is an abomination in the sight of God, their prayers for the wanderer will ascend to the throne of grace, and result, in God's own time, in the sigh for the "father's house," and the tearful cry of repentance: "Father, I have sinned against thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son."

One might think that if he was the firstborn he had a right to be rebellious, or another might be rebellious because he was not the firstborn. But God does not tolerate rebellion, which springs from the pride of thinking that only one's own opinions are worth considering. God has instituted parental authority, and one stubbornly rebellious against his parents was to be brought by them to the elders of the city, the place of judgment (the gate) (vs.18-19).

The witness of his parents was then sufficient to the effect that their son was stubborn and rebellious, a glutton and a drunkard. In this case he had become unmanageable, and sentence was to be immediately executed by the stoning of the young man to death (vs.20-21). This was the law, judgment without mercy. While rebellion is no less evil today in God's eyes, yet in the present day of grace God is patiently delaying judgment in desire that men may repent and be saved. But under law, judgment was carried out to make others fear the consequences of rebellion.

The law commanded children to honour their parents, and if a son smote or cursed his parents he was put to death. Ex. 21:15, 17. Parents were to teach the law to their children, and to chastise them when needed, and if a son was disobedient and contumacious the men of the city were to stone such a one. Deut. 21:18-21. The first born was claimed by God, and had to be redeemed, Ex. 13:13; and the eldest son inherited a double portion of his father's possessions. Deut. 21:17.

Before going further, I would just offer a few remarks upon a case of discipline, which was of old, and is, I trust, even in our evil days, a case of not very frequent occurrence, but requires all the more promptness and wisdom where it does occur. I mean the case of a stubborn and rebellious son, provided for in the book of Deuteronomy in such awfully solemn terms:

"If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

"Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;

"And they shall say unto the elders of his city, 'This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.'

But another direction follows. There is the case of the stubborn and rebellious son. To whom does this apply? To the people of Israel in their obstinate self-will and irreverence toward Jehovah their God. In all sorts of forms God sets it forth. Alas! when blessing is wrought, when the contrite heart of the remnant desires the Messiah, they will not all turn to God. Contrariwise the great mass of the nation will be more than ever rebellious and apostate. The end of this age will not see united hearts among the Jews, but a people severed and broken — a people with the widest possible breaches among them: some whose hearts are truly touched by grace, as we have seen, who are destined to the place of the firstborn on the earth; most, on the other hand, who will fight to the last against God, and reject to their own perdition His testimony. This is the stubborn son; and as to him it is said, "Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out to the elders of his city, and to the gate of his place: and they shall say to the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard." And such has Israel been. "And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear."

The Apostle Paul points out in Ephesians 6:2 that this is "the first commandment with promise;" the promise being long life in the land which was to be given to them. Conversely, the flouting of this command was to entail severe penalty, as we see in Deuteronomy 21:18-21. The penalty pronounced against the "stubborn and rebellious son," who would not, "obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother," may seem to us very drastic, but it serves to emphasize the great importance of this fifth commandment in the thought of God. Were it faithfully and universally observed, there would be very little infringement of the remaining five commandments.

Both smiting and cursing father or mother (vv. 15, 17) incurred the same penalty. Thus God established by the holy sanctions of His law parental authority; and demanded for it the reverential regard of children. Disobedience to parents is given as one sign of the perilous times of the last days (2 Tim. 3:2), fully showing the value in the eyes of God of the subjection of children to their parents. For, indeed, it is God's authority they represent, and hence is absolute in its character when used for God, demanding implicit and unconditional obedience. (See Deut. 21:18-21; Eph. 6:1; Col. 3:20.) Hence the gravity of the sins here specified. But if smiting and cursing earthly parents deserve death, how much greater the sin of open-handed rebellion against God

In Exodus 21:15, 17, the solemn sentence of death is passed on those who are guilty of smiting or cursing their father or mother. By this God sanctions the exercise of parental authority, and the children's regard for that authority as flowing from filial affection. Since this is included among those other enactments, it clearly shows the importance God attaches to these filial obligations, and how gravely He regards any breach in conduct coming short of this. Paul, in writing to Timothy concerning "the last days" when "difficult times shall be there," mentions specifically "disobedience to parents" and "without natural affection" as characteristic of these last days.

The fact that believers in Christ are not under law, but under grace, does not relieve us of these obligations, since the great point to be pressed is that of obedience to a God-given authority. Under grace, according to the teaching of Paul in the Epistle to the Ephesians, we rise to greater heights in our observance of these things, as being animated by heavenly motives and springs of action. The Spirit of God gives the following exhortation, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is just" (Eph. 6:1), and to the Colossians, who were in danger of being entangled by legal ordinances, the word is, "Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing in the Lord" (Eph. 3:20).

(b) But in contrast with this, we have the end of the disobedient son, given up at last by father and mother into the hands of the elders, by whose sentence he is stoned to death. The application is easy to the end of final disobedience on the part of those in Israel put in the place but not having the spirit of sons, as well as to those outwardly but not in heart sons among the Gentiles.

Verses 18-21 of our chapter record the case of "a stubborn and rebellious son." Here again we have Israel viewed from another standpoint. It is the apostate generation for which there is no forgiveness. "If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken to them; then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out to the elders of his city, and to the gate of his place; and they shall say to the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die; so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear and fear."