Does God expect all of us to have children?

Concerning virgins (1 Cor. 7:25) - the term here applies to both sexes - Paul had no commandment; but he gave his judgment. "It was good for the present distress," he writes, "so to be." The advantages of that condition he sets forth (vv. 32-35), the approach of the end he recalls to mind (vv. 29-31); but celibacy he does not enforce. Marriage is not wrong; a second marriage was not forbidden, if in the Lord; but, he adds, here writing of a widow, "She is happier if she so abide after my judgment (gnome). (See 1 Cor. 5:26.) And I think also that I have the Spirit of God." (v. 40.)

His own desire was that all men (believers of course) were as himself, unmarried. Certainly this was impossible of fulfilment, for everyone had his proper gift from God. If God had not himself fitted one for this, it would be a mistake for him to refuse to marry a wife God had brought to him. Paul's viewpoint certainly was a blessed one, but it is not the normal, usual path, and however we might admire it, this is not itself the power to follow it. We can fully agree that it is good to remain unmarried; yet even Paul himself advises that if the natural instinct and desire for marriage were strong within one, it is better to marry. "Forbidding to marry," he assures us elsewhere, is diabolical teaching (I Tim.4:1‑3).

(Vv. 6-9). In having said, “Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband”, he is careful to explain that he is not giving a command, but he speaks as consenting to the married state. His own wish is that all should be as he himself, free from these relationships. But he recognises that it is not given of God for all to remain unmarried, and where not given it is “better to marry”.

It seems pretty clear that in this passage the word, "virgin" is used as covering the unmarried of either sex. The Apostle's teaching may be summarized in this: that marriage is good, as is every divine institution; it is wholly right and permissible; yet that to remain in the unmarried state is better, if it is maintained in order to be more wholly at the Lord's disposal for His interests. If such do not "attend upon the Lord without distraction," their celibacy may only cast a snare upon them.

The Lord's teaching as to divorce was new and surprising even to His disciples, and prompted their remark recorded in verse 10. This in its turn led Him to declare that marriage is the normal thing for man, and the unmarried state the exceptional, as is also inferred by Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 7:7. If "it is given" to a man, then "it is good not to marry," but normally, "Marriage is honourable in all" (Heb. 13:4).

(3) To return now to our text: the disciples show out now the state of their own hearts. "If the case of the man with his wife be so," they say, "it is not good to marry." And the Lord replies: "Not all have capacity for this, but those to whom it has been given." The word of God having pronounced from the beginning, to which our Lord has been referring us, that it is not good for man to be alone," we cannot expect that the gift to abide alone will be other than exceptional. Christianity leaves the general truth unaffected, while it may and does give power over nature where special circumstances call for this. Nature itself has imposed this necessity upon some: the cruelty of men has imposed it upon others. But the Kingdom of heaven, as a motive in the heart, may lift men above all necessity, and enable them to take this place freely. How different a thought, however, from the selfishness which had just spoken out in the disciples, and of which their Master takes no further notice. The shining of the light sufficiently reveals the darkness which it displaces.

"But this I say by way of permission, not by way of command. Now I wish all men to be even as myself; but each has his own gift of God, one this way, and another that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them that they remain even as I. But if they have not self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn." (Vers. 6-9.) Thus did the Holy Spirit lead the large-hearted apostle to write, in what he had laid down, declaring that it was not as a commandment, but a permission. His own wish for others was that all should be even as himself. But he does not overlook that each has as God gives him. Hence to the unmarried and to widows he says, it is good for them to remain even as he; yet even then not absolutely, but only in case they can without fear of sinning in this respect.

(Vv. 25-34). The Apostle has spoken to those called in the marriage relationship; now he gives his advice to the unmarried. On account of the present condition of the world in all its distresses and necessities, and that the time is short, and its weeping and rejoicing will soon be over — for the fashion of this world is passing — he judges that it is good for a Christian to be free from earthly ties. This, however, does not mean that if a man is bound to a wife he is to seek to be free, but if free it is better to remain so. Nevertheless, Christians who enter upon the married state do no wrong, but they will have trouble in the flesh and add to their cares. The Apostle would, as far as possible, have us without care, so that we might undistractedly serve the Lord. Naturally, and so far rightly, the married seek to please each other, whereas the unmarried are more free to serve the Lord undistractedly in spirit and in body.

When we learn to take true rest in serving the Lord, there will be good results, as verse 3 indicates. Israel will be greatly blessed with children in the millennium, and will learn indeed that the children are a heritage from the Lord, a reward for dependence on Him. Today not every godly believer is so blessed, but often that deficiency is made up by the comfort of having spiritual children; and any imbalance that is characteristic of the day of Christ's rejection will be wonderfully corrected in the coming glory.

Then children are likened to arrows in the hand of a warrior, useful for gaining victories over enemies. "Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them" (v. 5). There are some who criticize those who have more than one or two children, but God does not. It is said of Susannah Wesley that she had 22 children, and taught them all to read by using the Word of God. Her son, John Wesley was greatly used by God in the salvation of large numbers; and her son Charles was given grace to write more hymns than anyone else on record, — many of them very excellent hymns.

How intimate the relationship. Taken out of man (Ish) she was called woman (Isha). Marriage is instituted for man and woman’s comfort and joy, and for the procreation of the human race. In Genesis 1 man and woman are exhorted to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth, to subdue it, to have dominion over it, Adam being head over all. A man is to leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, one in affection and interest, each the complement of the other.