Dealing with mean people - what does the Bible say?

But the Jews deliberately overlooked that God had also commanded them in the law to love their enemies (see Ex. 23:4-5; Lev. 19:33-34). By continuing, "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you," the Lord Jesus does not give new commandments to His disciples but judges the fleshly restriction of the old commandment and the human addition. According to God's thoughts every fellow human being with whom we have to do is our neighbour, even if he or she turns out to be our personal enemy. The Lord Jesus demands, not an emotional love, nor a friendly affection for enemies, but rather the much higher divine love (Greek: agapao).

The Lord Jesus was the revelation of this love of God: "But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him" (Rom. 5:8-10). While He hung on the cross He prayed for His tormentors: "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). Our Lord therefore is also the perfect example for His commandment, "Love your enemies... and pray for them which. persecute you."

No greater compass of truth could possibly be brought within the bounds of so few words. Then our Lord goes back to the fifth petition to enforce the principle of Christian forgiveness. We shall meet with an even fuller development of it later, but here it is laid down as the basis on which God deals with His children in government. We may be smitten (verse 39), wronged (verse 40), sinned against (verse 41), despised (verse 44), hated or persecuted (verse 44). How are we to meet it? By asserting our rights and demanding apology and reparation? The world would do so, and it would be considered right in the eyes of the world. But, "No," says the Lord, "forgive men their trespasses." And more, it is not that the Christian walks through this world a merely passive or impassive sufferer. The very suffering he may be brought into only brings out the spirit of Christ, who was Himself, the perfect exponent in His own history of His divine teaching, and who is our perfect Example. So the Apostle could say, "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves" — the first thing nature thinks of. But here is the divine way, "If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head." "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."

Conduct of Disciples. — Not only did He do that, but He taught them likewise how to act towards their enemies when in such circumstances. If hated, they were to love and to do good to them. Cursed, they were to bless them. Despitefully used, they were to pray for them. Meekness and yieldingness to enemies was to characterise them; doing to others as they would be done by; remembering whose children they were, and manifesting by their behaviour the outflow of the Divine nature, that they were sons, as we should read, of the Highest, who is kind to the unthankful and to the evil (6:35). "Be ye," adds the Lord, "merciful, as your Father also is merciful. And judge not, and ye shall not be judged; and condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned; forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: give, and it shall be given to you; good measure pressed down, shaken together, running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same [or, with what] measure that ye mete withal, it shall be measured to you again."

Many are spiritually deaf and do not hear such things. They have intentionally closed their ears to the things of Christ. But the Lord then spoke to those who would hear. He told them, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you." Love is not merely having a kind feeling, but being genuinely concerned for the true, proper welfare of another If that person returns hatred, it is all the more reason to be concerned for him, for he needs special help. Doing good in return for evil is both rightly representing God and providing an example that should touch the hearts and consciences of others. This, and returning blessing for cursing, requires the lowly dignity of true faith, as do those things that follow, such as praying for one who acts despitefully (v.28). Our natural resentment is greatly modified by the power of the Holy Spirit when we allow Him to work in us ungrieved and unquenched (Eph.4:30; 1Thes.5:19).

There may be even physical violence, and not only is this to find us unresisting, but willing to bear further injustice, turning the other cheek. If a school bully were to beat up my child, this is not a question of my own rights merely. Rather, I am responsible for the child, and this should be reported to the school principal or to the parents of the bully. If one steals even our necessary garment (our cloak), we are not to strive to hold on to a garment more necessary still (our tunic) (v.29). Generally one would not steal another's garment unless he needed it, and we are to consider this. If it were a matter of a person stealing to increase his wealth, or, for instance one stealing a car for the fun of it, the police would actually require us to make a report, for the robber would be a threat to others besides ourselves.

But now a word as to what follows. It is the very pith and essence of that which concerns our relation towards others here below; the great active principle from which all right conduct flows. This is the question of the true character and limits of love. "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour and hate thine enemy" (ver. 43). This was the expression that the Jews drew from the general tenor of the law. There had been the sanction of God for the extermination of their enemies; and from that they drew the principle, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you." Here was a thing that the law never could teach — it is grace. In a thousand practical instances, the question is not whether the thing is right. We often hear Christians asking, Is such a thing wrong? But this is not the sole question for the Christian. Suppose wrong is done him; what is to be his feeling then? If there is enmity to him in another, what is he to cherish in his own heart? "Love your enemies … do good to them that hate you … that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven;" thus they show in practical ways that they belong to such a parentage, "For He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust … Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect" (vers. 44-48).

Bearing with others involves the restraining of any negative reaction to things that tend to provoke people. How true was this of the Lord Jesus, and with this is linked the forgiving of others. We know that those words from the cross, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do" (Lk.13:34) came from the depths of His loving heart. Thus, for us too forgiveness should be frank and ungrudging.

Should others offend us by the tongue, through the nasty things they say, we should be ready to forgive them, and not harbour unkind things in our hearts. Should we offend others by our unkind words, we should confess to them the wrong we have done.

As brought to God, I have learned what God is as to His ways of grace (verses 31 and 32): "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil-speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Did God come and clamour against you in justice? He sent His Son to give Himself for you, and has forgiven you. There is a man that wronged me; I am going to forgive him, as God forgave me, and (if I am near enough to God to do it) to show out what we have been learning is the joy of our souls.

The next exhortation has reference to our conduct towards our fellow Christians, who may be trying and difficult to get on with. Our conduct to such is to be “with long suffering, forbearing one another in love” (Eph. 4:2). Long-suffering does not mean to bear something once or twice, and then think we have done nobly, but to be prepared to put up with a trying brother, or sister for years, if needs be. The difficult thing is to forbear IN LOVE. We get an example in this when Peter asked the Lord if he should forgive his brother, who had sinned against him, up to seven times. Our Lord replied, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven” (Matt. 18:22).

But how will this work out in practice? Simply enough. If there is a Christian upon earth with whom you have a quarrel, forgive him, and do it at once. If there is one who tries and irritates you, show forbearance, put on with regard to him bowels of mercies, humbleness of mind, meekness, and long-suffering; let love cover all your actions to all who are fellow-members with you of the body of which Christ is Head. Take this group of heavenly graces, make them your study daily, and determine by the grace of Christ that they shall be your standard, even though you fail, for you had better stumble aiming at the highest than walk securely on a lower plane.