What does the Bible say about verbal abuse?

Another thing is to be observed, — that the Holy Spirit's scale of sin is not that of man. Which of you, my brethren, would have thought of classing a railer with an adulterer? A railer is one who uses abusive language for the purpose of injuring another, — not the transient out-breaking of flesh, sad as it is, but provoked it may be, or at any rate, happening through unwatchfulness. The habit of evil speaking stamps him who practises it as a railer; and such a man is unfit for the company of the saints, for God's assembly. It is the old leaven of malice and wickedness. He is unclean. Doubtless the world would not so judge; but this is not the world's judgment. The Corinthians were under the influence of the world. The apostle had already shown that to walk as men is beneath the Christian. Now we see that to walk as the world, no matter how refinedly, ever exposes Christians to act worse than men of the world. God has stamped upon His children the name of Christ; and what does not express His name is inconsistent, not only with the Christian, but with His assembly. They are all as such held responsible, according to the grace and holiness and glory of Christ, for the sin done in their midst, of which they are cognisant. They are bound to keep themselves pure in ways.

An idolater is one who pays divine honors to idols or images, or one who pays excessive veneration or love to any human person or thing. A railer is an abusive person, one who is quarrelsome, insolent, noisy, manifesting temper, and who attacks others with vile slander and abusive language. As another has said, "The habit of evil speaking stamps him who practices it as a railer; and such a man is unfit for the company of saints, for God's Assembly" (W. Kelly).

The Lord Jesus said “But I say unto you, that every one that is lightly angry with his brother shall be subject to the judgment” (Matt. 5:22).

Paul said “Be angry, and do not sin; let not the sun set upon your wrath, neither give room for the devil” (Eph. 4:26-27) and also “Let all bitterness, and heat of passion, and wrath, and clamour, and injurious language, be removed from you, with all malice; and be to one another kind, compassionate, forgiving one another, so as God also in Christ has forgiven you” (Eph. 4:31-32. See also Col. 3:8).

If we come to particulars, "all bitterness," I think, denotes every form of the sharp, unsparing mood which repels souls instead of winning them, and makes the most of the real or imagined faults of others. The "wrath and anger," next following, refer to the outburst of passion, and the more settled vindictive resentment, to which the indulgence of acrimony gives rise, a "clamour and evil speaking" are their respective counterparts in words: all flowing from the deep-seated fountain of "all malice," which is finally condemned in our verse. Thus, as we were warned against dishonesty in word and deed, before the allusion to the Holy Spirit's seal, so now, after it, hatred in its various parts and expressions is denounced. It is, alas, natural to the first man Adam — the same corruption and violence which brought the flood on the world of old, but, spite of God's judgment, renewed itself, and will, till Christ deal with man and Satan in person.

(V. 29). In conversation we are not to speak of those things which would corrupt the minds of the hearers, but rather to speak of that which edifies and ministers to a spirit of grace in the hearers.

(Vv. 30, 31). In the first part of the chapter the exhortation to a worthy walk flows from the great truth that believers collectively are the dwelling-place of the Holy Spirit. Here we are reminded that as individuals we are sealed by the Spirit. God has marked us out as His own in view of the day of redemption by giving us the Spirit. We are to beware of grieving the Holy Spirit by allowing bitterness, the heat of passion, wrath and noisy clamour, injurious language and malice.

Verse 31 speaks of those things which result from the nursing of bad feeling in the heart -- bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking, together with malice. These sinful attitudes and practices are to be judged unsparingly, and resolutely put away. There is no place for them among the saints of God. We must not allow ourselves the slightest excuse for the breaking out of such things, for they stem from sin, not from infirmity.

This means that Miriam opposed Moses' course of action and therefore she turned to Aaron for support. Together they then said: “Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath He not spoken also by us?” (v. 2). “And the LORD heard it,” says the next sentence. Let us remember that, when we feel we have to say something about our fellow brother or sister! There is a Witness who hears our conversations, who knows our thoughts and even knows what is at the bottom of our hearts. We cannot hide anything from Him. So it is not without reason that the apostle James so seriously warns about the dangers of the tongue, which can be full of “deadly poison.” With our tongue we bless God, and with it we also curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God (James 3:8-9). This is a serious evil and when somebody persists in it it will ultimately lead to their exclusion, for a railer should be put away from ourselves as a wicked person (1 Cor. 5:11-13). In 1 Corinthians 6:10 Paul says that a reviler is among those who will not inherit the kingdom of God. Such a person is considered to be among “them that are without.” Unfortunately, things can reach this stage when somebody will not keep their tongue under control through the power of the Holy Spirit (this self-control is also a fruit of the Spirit: Gal. 5:19-23).

Now He takes up the law in its various parts, at least what has to do with men. Here He does not enter into what touches God directly, but first of all takes up that which flows from human violence, and after this the great flagrant example of human corruption; for violence and corruption are the two outstanding forms of human iniquity. Before the flood even, such was the condition of men: "The earth was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence." Here, in verse 21, we have the light of the kingdom cast on the command, "Thou shalt not kill: and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment." The law took cognizance of this extreme form of violence; but our Lord gives length, breadth, height, and depth to it: "But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire" (ver. 22). That is, our Lord treats as now coming under the same category with murder, in the sight of God, every kind of violence, and feeling, and expression; anything of contempt and hatred, whatever expresses the ill-feeling of the heart; any putting down of another, the will to annihilate others as far as character or influence is concerned: all this is no better than murder in God's searching eye. He is expanding the law; He is showing now One who looks at and judges the feeling of the heart. Therefore it is not at all a question merely of the consequences of violence to a man, for there might be no very bad effect produced by these words of anger, but they proved the state of the heart; and this is what the Lord is dealing with here. "Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way: first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift" (vers. 23, 24). He is not yet manifesting the Christian in his entire separation from the Jewish system. These words clearly show a connection with Israel — though the principle applies to a Christian; for the altar has no reference to the Lord's table.

(4.) There is one thing the husband is taught to avoid: "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." (Col. 3:19.) It might be thought that if the 'love' were secured there would be no place left for the 'bitterness.' But is it so in the actual experience of life? Many a husband who truly loves his wife drops, in moments of unwatchfulness, when out of the presence of God, hasty words, which are as bitter as gall to a tender heart. The object of the warning seems thus to be to secure the constant exercise of a spirit of self-judgment, so that the husband may avoid everything that might fret or irritate the spirit of his wife. Bitterness-whatever the provocation-is to be carefully eschewed; and it will be done the more easily if he but remember his responsibility to love his wife, even as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it.

(1.) It is somewhat remarkable that the first exhortation is, "But, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath." So also in Colossians: "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger." (Col. 3:21.) It is not exactly the same word, though the meaning is not very different. This will be at once understood when it is perceived that this exhortation follows upon the call to children to obey their parents. Fathers are placed in almost absolute authority; and hence the first thing the Spirit of God does in turning to parents is to admonish them as to the manner in which they should exercise their authority. Knowing what the flesh is, even in a Christian, and how apt we are to be tyrannical and despotic in the place in which God has set us, He, in tender consideration for those who are put in the subject position, says, "Provoke not your children to wrath." Parents have almost unlimited control (limited only by the words added to the injunction, "in the Lord") over their children, but they are hereby warned that they must be careful before God as to the method of their government. They must consider the feelings of their children, and while they must never abate one jot or tittle of what is due to the Lord, they must remember their weakness; not lay upon them more than they can bear lest they might be discouraged. A more striking illustration of God's tenderness for children could scarcely be conceived-a tenderness which was exemplified again and again by our blessed Lord while down here upon the earth-than is expressed in this special injunction to parents. And we all know, how apt we are to be capricious or harsh in our rule; and hence our need of this reminder. let every parent therefore remember, that if, on the one hand, God has given him the rule over his family, on the other He has carefully defined the character of its exercise; and that he is as responsible for the latter as for the former.