What does the Bible say about venting?

This psalm is all prayer, voiced by David when in the cave, hiding from enemies. There are many such prayers in the psalms, for there are many occasions when believers are threatened by spiritual enemies. And certainly, it is wise to make our supplication to God (v. 1). If we have any reason to complain, let that complaint be poured out before the Lord, not before others who can do nothing about it anyway (v. 2). Times may come when the spirit is overwhelmed, but how good to have confidence in the perfect knowledge of the Lord as to all our pathway (v. 3). Enemies may secretly set a snare, but God sees this. The psalmist may look to the side to find no-one to help or even to acknowledge him. No refuge is found, no-one to care for his soul (v. 4).

In the presence of all these sorrows the prophet groans in spirit, for God's word permits of a groan, but never a grumble (Rom. 8:22-27). Moreover, the prophet utters his groans to the Lord. Alas! too often there is a tendency with us, as believers, to discuss among ourselves the failures of the people of God in such a spirit of bitterness that the groaning becomes mere grumbling, or complaining as to what God allows in His dealings with His people. Thus complaining words to one another may betray either a lurking spirit of rebellion against God, or an effort to exalt ourselves by belittling others. Good for us, if we escape these snares by pouring out the anguish of our spirits, and the exercises of our souls before the LORD.

A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.''

A fool will pour out all that he knows, or thinks he knows, without regard to the need or condition of those to whom he speaks; and without considering the damage he might cause. He may even pride himself on being "frank and outspoken," while actually crude and ill-mannered. A wise man, on the other hand, will he careful to weigh well what he speaks, taking time to consider the implications that might easily be attached to his words. Not that he will in any way be deceitful, but he will consider the condition and the need of those to whom he speaks.

Here is a very wonderful thing. Some of us might be a little hasty in spirit. Thank God we have a greater Spirit than our spirit, that is the Holy Spirit, and He can help us to check that quick retort that might come to the lips when anger and feelings rise. I find this linked with knowledge. It is one thing to have knowledge it is another thing to apply it. Mr Darby once said that spiritual things in the hands of an unspiritual man is like a 'sword in the hands of a child or of a drunken man'[1]. Well, you know the damage that could be done by a drunken man if he had a sword; he would be absolutely irresponsible, and what awful damage he could cause. So a great deal of knowledge of the Bible and of truths used in an uncontrolled way as far as one's spirit is concerned can cause much damage amongst the saints. One such way is to impress upon the saints of one's mind without any gracious consideration, but self control will prevent this; it is a wonderful feature. There is to be no anger or a pressing in a self asserting spirit in the application of this knowledge, but we are to use it in patience, in meekness, and under the control of the Spirit of God. What a wonderful thing that is. We hear a lot today, you will excuse the expression, of 'blowing one's top', that is out as far as the Christian company is concerned. What a shameful thing when brethren express themselves in this way when they gather together to talk about the things of God, things that we have been speaking about today, the liberty that we have in Christ Jesus and many, many other features of truth. Yet we sometimes think we can express ourselves in anger, in self assertiveness in talking about divine things! It is surely a nauseous thing in the sight of heaven. Instead, how precious in His sight is the spirit of meekness, the control of the Holy Spirit, and self control in dealing with these things.

On this ground we may well be admonished (again as beloved brethren) to be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. If all good comes from the Father, by His own will, and through His own Word, certainly it is our wisdom to be learners, our ears open, our tongues restrained, and our tempers kept in control. For the tongue and the temper are a revealing index to the state of a soul.

Men may sometimes feel their wrath is because of God's glory; but this is very questionable in the light of v.20; the righteousness of God is not wrought out by the wrath of man. Rather, man's wrath is linked with filthiness and overflow of wickedness in v.21, as that which is to be laid aside. The losing of one's temper is manifestly the overflow of wickedness.

"Be ye angry and sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath." (Ver. 26.) I take this to be a most important and holy intimation for our souls. There is a notion often that it is wrong for a Christian ever to feel displeased or angry; this and other Scriptures show it may be right. But we must take care what the source, as well as the character, of the anger is. If it is merely about something that affects self, and it therefore takes the form of vindictiveness, this is of course beyond a doubt contrary to all that is of Christ. We find in Him (Mark 3) that He looked round about upon certain persons with anger, showing clearly He had the strongest feeling about that which was contrary to God. It was not merely that He denounced the thing, but the people who were guilty of it. I find the same analogy in the epistles. We are told not only to cleave to that which is good, but to abhor that which is evil. Man's thought is that it is not for a Christian to judge and to be angry with what is wrong. The word of God tells us there are certain things we ought to judge and others we ought not. I am not to judge what is unseen; I am to judge positive, known evil. There we have plainly and clearly the line drawn by God. You will find that men say, if you speak strongly about the wrong of this thing or that, you are uncharitable. But not so; it is real charity to denounce it, not to let it pass. True love as to this consists in always having the feelings of God about what comes before us. That is the one question. What God has fellowship with, we can have fellowship with; and what God hates, we are not to love or allow. But we must take care that we are in the intelligence of God's mind. "Be ye angry and sin not." There is the greatest possible danger of sinning if you are angry, and therefore is this added. The simple emotion of anger toward one who has sinned may and ought to be a holy feeling; it is provided it rests there. Thus it is felt in God's presence. But how am I to know that I am not sinning in my anger? "Let not the sun go down upon your wrath." If there is irritation kept up in the spirit, impatience, dislike, or scorn betrayed, who cannot see that it is not of God? When the sun goes down, it is a time either for your peaceful communion with God, or your indulgence of resentment away from Him. Therefore it is added, "Neither give place to the devil." (Ver. 27.) Where there is the nursing of wrath or the keeping up of grievances in the mind, Satan easily comes in and is not easily dislodged.

In these exhortations, as in the doctrine of the epistle, there is no notion of bettering the nature of man. A new nature is shown to belong to the Christian: Christ is his life. The practical aim follows that this should be exercised and manifested.

How often we carry our sorrows instead of pouring them out before the One who came into this world of weeping, to bear our griefs and carry our sorrows. Have we a secret sorrow; have we an adversary that sore provokes (verse 6); anything or anyone that causes our spirits to fret (verse 6); anything that grieves our hearts (verse 8); anything that fills the soul with bitterness, and the eyes with tears (verse 10)? Then let us pour out our souls before the Lord and He will pour in His peace. And a glad heart will make a glad face, as we read, "Her countenance was no more sad." The heart at peace, and filled with the gladness of the Lord, is the heart that worships; thus with Hannah, we read, she "worshipped before the Lord" (verse 19).

The vexation of the fool breaks out in immediate and uncontrollable anger. He forgets God, himself, and everybody else. On the other hand, he is prudent who conceals rather than exposes shame; he feels the insult, instead of despising his brother, and steeling his own breast in worldly pride. But his quiet spirit adds no fuel to the flame, and helps the offender perhaps to judge his unbridled impropriety. How prudent to ignore such provocations, to conceal shame not only from others but from ourselves!

It may seem to some of you a very severe sentence for a small offence. But it was not a small offence; the greater the saint the worse the sin. However, the point I wish especially to bring before you is the exceeding great importance of unceasing watchfulness as illustrated in the example of Moses. Read carefully what James says about the tongue (James 3). The hasty word spoken in anger may cause untold mischief. Is it not when you are unthinking that you find this happens? Something does not please you. You have received a real or fancied injury. And before you are aware, your indignation is fired, and the savage word is spoken, which is speedily followed by unavailing regrets.

Oh, learn, I beseech you to choke your wrath. Weep over your folly and sin in the presence of God. Be resolute in your endeavours to control the workings of your passions within. Firmly refuse to open your lips to utter your words while they are red hot. Let them cool, lest like Moses you speak unadvisedly with your lips (Ps. 106:33).

p155 Dear Miss Jesse Williams, - The Lord is graciously doing what was and is always needed, making you know yourself. We may often accept the gospel not insincerely, and yet not have the least learnt what we are, that is what sin is in the flesh. As regards confession (James 5:16) - the form this distress takes with you - I agree with -, it is not a command imposed, but a means afforded for walking fully in the light, a relief if I cannot get rid of something that presses on my conscience; nay, even if I have done from time to time what keeps my spirit fretful, and out of communion, it is given as a means of relief, in order to my spirit's being conscious of being in the truth, to find some one worthy of such confidence, and opening the matter to them. It is a relief to open the heart, only not to be done with levity, but in the true sense of the evil, and gives occasion to the other to pray for us. This is connected with the government of God, and has nothing to do with deliverance. Its true character is lost if we look on it as an imposed obligation; but we make what is called a clean breast of it, and all sense of guile and false appearance is taken away. Sometimes the desire to confess is a mere effort to get the mind at ease without a thorough dealing with God which goes to the root.