What does the Bible say about self-pity?

Let me give another turn to that thought as to the portion that is ours, and the sorrow into which it may lead us. Persons often pity themselves. True Christians waiting for the Lord have a great deal of sorrow they could tell of. Did it ever occur to you to sit down and write out a list of your sorrows, and present them to Him who was the Man of sorrows, and bore them all for your sake? I should be ashamed to do it. I recognize that character of prayer, that it is the gracious intention of the Lord for us to empty out our care before Him, and ask Him for what we need, even when the thing that presses on us may not be His mind to give us. The Lord Jesus knew no place to lay down the weight upon Him but in the presence of the Father. If I knew my place in Him on high, I could not bring my sorrows there to make much of them. I may present them, and am quite free to do it, and think how much deeper sorrow He went through. I am ashamed to speak of myself when He suffered so much for my sake.

There is nothing more disheartening and discouraging than to be occupied with oneself. Our spirits will begin to wilt and droop. Something has happened to us, and we wonder: “Why me?” We cannot understand why the Lord has allowed this. We begin to sulk. We become depressed and burdened with heaviness. In Romans chapter seven the personal pronouns I, me, myself, are repeated 47 times. I ask you, with whom is the man in that chapter occupied? The capital letter “I” is repeated 28 times! There is your answer. He is occupied with “self”.

In verse 10 Asaph appears to start as a man awakening out of sleep, and he says, "This is my infirmity." Perhaps he had been thinking previously that all this self-occupation with its attendant misery was very pious and very right. There are dear Christian people who are in a state of inward misery, and they in a way pride themselves on being in that state. If they were not miserable, they would begin to be miserable because they were not miserable. The fact is that all this kind of thing is our infirmity. It is a great thing to label things by their right names. This is INFIRMITY, and not piety!

Our own will and making ourselves the centre is the spring of all our wretchedness; for outward circumstances may be trying — may give sorrow, but not wretchedness — where this is it is the fruit of will, restless and discontented.

But while attempting to trace the path of God's patience in all these moral processes with man, there are also to be noticed the instances of faith in connection with His dealings. Elijah's faith is marked by great power, but not less marked is, in one instance, the absence of it. Ahab grieves over his dead priests, Jezebel swears by her gods to do the same to Elijah. His faith falters on hearing of this and he flees. After the glory of the scene upon mount Carmel, he did not expect to have to flee for his life, and to hide himself from a woman's fury. A murmuring feeling rises, and he asks God to take his life, saying, "I am not better than my fathers." This is not humility, but saying that he ought to have been better treated; since he was not, better to die: he had had enough of trial. "It is enough, now, O Jehovah, take away my life, for I am not better than my fathers." A saint in intimate and peaceful communion with God never says, "It is enough," but, following in the steps of the Perfect One, says, Thy will, not mine, be done. But a merciful God meets him, and satisfies his hunger. Food, miraculously provided, and in the strength of that meat miraculously sustained forty days and forty nights. We think of One who had no meat miraculously given, but endured for forty days and forty nights; not that He would not be subject to the feeling of hunger, He was a perfect Man, and was willingly subject to its need. "Afterwards he hungered." But He was the mighty God — Elijah a weak servant. This goodness of God to a wearied and persecuted servant does not set aside discipline, and at last the solemn question is put, "What doest thou here, Elijah?" God strengthened him to go to Horeb, but did not send him there. He had run to Jezreel in the power of the Spirit, and no sooner there than he ran away, but not in the power of the Spirit. He left his post: hence the solemn question, What doest thou here? God, who had sent down the fire, and consumed the sacrifice, altar, water — who had strengthened his arm against all the idolatrous prophets — was not He able to curb the fury of an enraged woman? Elijah's faith, which was equal to the great occasion on mount Cannel, was not equal to the quiet, patient dependence upon God for his life. The passive power of faith needs for its sustenance closer communion with God than its active energy. Action, as it were, nerves us to the conflict; but quiet endurance of wrong, or snaring of any kind, which neither friend nor foe sees, but only God, this indeed needs divine power, and without God's support none would bear the strain. Many a saint has shown the courage of faith before his enemies, as Elijah when he faced Ahab, but who, like him, quails and flees, when there is nothing to do, but quietly trust in God.

How came this flight about? Such is man, my friends. Such is even a servant of God, if he get his eye off the Lord. If a man lose faith in God he will flee away. Elijah got dejected and fled. And was he really a man of God? Who can doubt that? He reminds us of John the Baptist. When he was pursuing his ministry he could say, "There comes one mightier than I after me, the latchet of whose shoes I am not worthy to stoop down and unloose" (Mark 1:7). But when he is locked up in prison he actually sends his disciples to say, "Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?" (Matt. 11:3). It makes all the difference the circumstances you are in. The Baptist's faith fails for a moment, and he doubts the Messiah. Jezebel's threat causes Elijah's faith to fail, and he flies to the desert. But look now at the beautiful grace of God to His dear servant: "But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers" (1 Kings 19:4). I think whenever a man speaks that way he does think he is better a good deal, but that no one understands or appreciates him. That is my conviction. For a moment his faith had failed. And here we learn a lesson of the weakness that may mark any one of us. We, too, get a little bit disappointed, and we go under some juniper tree. There is a juniper tree somewhere for you and me. I want you to avoid getting under a bitter tree like that. It was as bitter as Elijah's own spirit was. There is many a Christian today that has made a mistake and he wants to die. He says, I cannot do any more. Like Elijah he too says, "For I am not better than my fathers." At the back of his heart he thinks that he is rather better, depend upon it.

But what does the Lord do? Elijah goes to sleep presently, and while he is sleeping he is touched by an angel, who says: "Arise and eat. And he looked, and, behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again" (1 Kings 19:5-6). A minister from God is at his side. Not now is he tended by a raven or a widow, but by God's own loving hand. This weary man, who thinks nobody cares for him, looks up and sees this much-needed refreshment. Who put that there? God Himself Ah, beloved friends, God does not give His servants up, blessed be His name. When I fail it is quite possible that my brethren may give me up. My Master will not. The Lord does not fling His servants off as the devil does his slaves. When the devil has got all the work out of you that he can get, he will leave you to die like a dog in the field. But it is not so with the Lord.

Arrived at Beersheba, Elijah left his servant and went a day's journey into the wilderness. In this solitary place he betakes himself to prayer. But how different this prayer from his former requests. Before, he had prayed for the glory of God and the blessing of the nation; now "he requested for himself." And what a request! He cries out, "It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers." He has only himself before his eyes. His flight from Jezebel, and his prayer in the wilderness, are full of self. It is "his life" for which he fled, it is "himself" for whom he prays.

Listen to Jonah's prayer, and count the number of times he speaks of himself: "And he prayed unto Jehovah, and said, 'Ah, Jehovah, was not this my saying when I was yet in my country? Therefore I was minded to flee at first unto Tarshish; for I knew that Thou art a gracious God, and merciful, slow to anger, and of great loving kindness, and repentest Thee of the evil. And now, Jehovah, take, I beseech Thee, my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live'." Nine times he speaks of himself. How the prophet here again reminds us of the elder brother in Luke 15: "Behold, so many years I serve thee, and never have I transgressed a commandment of thine; and to me hast thou never given a kid that I might make merry with my friends." The same object is before them both — self, that hateful self, that self that ever remains with writer and reader and Jonah alike.

When the soul is distressed or cast down, that is not sin in itself. But sin comes in when there is distrust of God.

In the presence of all these sorrows the prophet groans in spirit, for God's word permits of a groan, but never a grumble (Rom. 8:22-27). Moreover, the prophet utters his groans to the Lord. Alas! too often there is a tendency with us, as believers, to discuss among ourselves the failures of the people of God in such a spirit of bitterness that the groaning becomes mere grumbling, or complaining as to what God allows in His dealings with His people. Thus complaining words to one another may betray either a lurking spirit of rebellion against God, or an effort to exalt ourselves by belittling others. Good for us, if we escape these snares by pouring out the anguish of our spirits, and the exercises of our souls before the LORD.