What does the Bible say about manipulation / being manipulative?

In verse 9 we are exhorted not to lie to one another, ‘having put off the old man with his deeds.’ This exhortation isn’t restricted to what we say but addresses every form of deceit. In Acts 5 we read about Ananias and Sapphira who lied to the Holy Spirit in seeking credit for something that was not true of them. In their case the intervention of the governmental judgment of God was immediate. We must remember that the devil is a liar and its father (Acts 5:3; John 8:44). In contrast, the Lord Jesus came into the world to bear witness to the truth and always spoke it (John 18:37; 8:40). He was entirely without hypocrisy (John 8:25). What place have lies among the people of God? They breakdown the confidence that we should have in one another. Rather, we are to ‘speak truth every one with his neighbour, because we are members one of another’ (Eph. 4:25).

In verse 9 we are exhorted not to lie to one another, ‘having put off the old man with his deeds’. This exhortation is not restricted to what we say but addresses every form of deceit. In Acts 5 we read about Ananias and Sapphira who lied to the Holy Spirit in seeking credit for something that was not true of them. In their case the intervention of the governmental judgment of God was immediate. We must remember that the devil is a liar and its father (Acts 5:3; John 8:44). In contrast, the Lord Jesus came into the world to bear witness to the truth and always spoke it (18:37; 8:40). He was entirely without hypocrisy (8:25). What place have lies among the people of God? They break down the confidence that we should have in one another. Rather, we are to ‘speak truth every one with his neighbour, because we are members one of another’ (Eph. 4:25).

It is important to notice the exact force of the word rendered "lying"; and the connection will help in its apprehension. In verse 23 the apostle, speaking of the new man, which these believers were said to have put on, tells us that "after God" it was "created in righteousness and true holiness," or, literally, holiness of the truth. All falsehood, therefore, is entirely excluded - could have, indeed, no connection with, or part in, this new creation of God. Hence the apostle proceeds, "Wherefore putting away lying" - which belonged to the old man which had been put off (v. 22) - "speak every man truth (the characteristic of the new man, together with righteousness) with his neighbour: for we are members one of another." Comprehending this, it will be readily perceived, what has been pointed out by a well-known translator, that "lying," or "falsehood," means "everything that has the character and nature of falsehood. It is abstract: what has this quality, not merely the act of lying." This should be much remembered, inasmuch as, in its application, it might search many of us who might not be betrayed into telling positive untruths. According to the above interpretation, a look, a gesture, demeanour, ambiguity of speech, evasion, compliments, and many other things, might fall under this sense of lying. In other words, the new man could only find expression in what is according to God, and in what, therefore, is marked by righteousness and holiness of the truth. The Christian so walking and so governed would be very real and very devoted; for he would be walking in the power of the Holy Ghost, and consequently have no object but Christ. (See vv. 20, 21.) Remark also the ground on which Paul urges the exhortation - "We are members one of another." To remember this would be a guard against any temptation to "lying," by showing us the character of such a sin against our brethren, bound up as they are with us in such intimate and indissoluble relationships. It may be added for the sake of any who have only the common translation at hand, that verses 22, 24, should be rendered "your having put off … the old man," and "having put on the new." It is regarded as having been done, through the acceptance of death with Christ, and through having been raised with Him, which is' a very different thing from being exhorted to do it.

Into the history of the immoral system I refer to I shall not go; neither shall I attempt to trace its features. One point, however, I will notice, and that is, that language was habitually used, not as the channel by which to communicate thought, but as the mode of hiding thought; and not of gathering the thoughts of others, but of corrupting their meanings. It was not merely the positive denial of facts, or the positive assertion of the existence of what was known not to exist, though both occurred, as also equivocation and fallacy of every kind. The mark however was, the so speaking as that the real object and meaning of the speaker might be misunderstood by the hearer; and another meaning, perhaps, than what was in the speaker's mind (which he did not wish to be seen by the hearer) communicated to him — something, perhaps, which would please him or subserve the speaker's ends, just as the serpent in the garden, "Ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil." The consequence was, not only that mutual confidence was destroyed, but the candid, open bearing of the simple-hearted in that place which they had esteemed the House of the Living God — of light, grace and truth — was met with a policy of artifice, which it required either the wisdom of an Ahithophel, well versed in Satan's ways and the wickedness of man, and in grammar and logic, to meet; or else a prayerful waiting upon God, that in His light, light might be seen. The more simple, unable to solve the riddle, said, "God has left them under the delusion of a lying spirit," and withdrew upon this ground from contact with the evil.

It is indeed, as it is here called, "an unsettled" or unstable "evil, full of deadly poison." Nor is the poison ever more attractive and dangerous than when administered in a gilded pill. Good words and fair speeches to make the worse appear the better reason is a favourite device of the enemy, and peculiarly fitted to deceive the hearts of the guileless.

Evidently at this early time men of such character had already begun their damaging work — and Paul presses upon the saints their responsibility to “mark” such men, and “turn away from them.” If it is clear that a man is using his ability to make or to widen breaches between saints, then his claims or so-called convictions are not to be listened to. If he is clever in argument — as such men commonly are — then it is the more dangerous to allow discussion with him, for he will deceive and sway the hearts of the unsuspecting. This is merely the selfish serving of his own pride that delights to persuade men to his point of view: It is not serving the Lord Jesus Christ, though there may be abundance of “good words and fair speeches.” Plausible in argument, even to reasoning minds, but faulty as to holy judgment, mercy, and faith, are the most subtle forms that evil assumes.

But more than that, these teachers will seek to use believers as cunningly as possible, manipulating the truth by smooth words, that they may gain an advantage at the expense of believers. But God takes account, and will not delay their judgment. Their destruction may seem far off, but it "slumbereth not:" it is nearer than we may feel it to be.

Be on your guard then against these false teachers. They will have a wholly pleasing exterior and their words will be "feigned" or "well-turned" — cleverly adapted to throw the simple believer off his guard. They will tell you how they believe in "the divinity of Christ" — but then of course they hold every man to be more or less divine. They accept the truth of "the atonement" — as long as you permit them to print it, "at-one-ment." They can juggle marvellously with the word "eternal" and show you that it merely means "age-long" when it stands in connection with punishment. And so on.

In the first century they had not to face difficulties springing from the divided state of the church, but there were difficulties nevertheless as verse 4 indicates. Already men were going about beguiling believers. Let us take especial note that they were doing so "with enticing words." Smooth, elegant, persuasive speech is the chief stock-in-trade of deceivers. How often have simple and unsuspecting folk said of some propagandist, "Oh, but he must be all right: he spoke so beautifully!" When a little subsequent investigation showed that he was as far from being "all right" as could be.

V. 4. The first warning is "that no one may delude you by persuasive speech". This is a warning against error presented in an attractive form by the aid of human eloquence, or by being presented in Christian terms mixed with a measure of truth. Never was this warning more needed than in our day when the world is flooded with popular religious books, containing the deadliest error, expressed in choice language, hidden under attractive sentiments, and presented with a veneer of Christianity.