What does the Bible say about managing / controlling emotions?

Here is a very wonderful thing. Some of us might be a little hasty in spirit. Thank God we have a greater Spirit than our spirit, that is the Holy Spirit, and He can help us to check that quick retort that might come to the lips when anger and feelings rise. I find this linked with knowledge. It is one thing to have knowledge it is another thing to apply it. Mr Darby once said that spiritual things in the hands of an unspiritual man is like a 'sword in the hands of a child or of a drunken man'[1]. Well, you know the damage that could be done by a drunken man if he had a sword; he would be absolutely irresponsible, and what awful damage he could cause. So a great deal of knowledge of the Bible and of truths used in an uncontrolled way as far as one's spirit is concerned can cause much damage amongst the saints. One such way is to impress upon the saints of one's mind without any gracious consideration, but self control will prevent this; it is a wonderful feature. There is to be no anger or a pressing in a self asserting spirit in the application of this knowledge, but we are to use it in patience, in meekness, and under the control of the Spirit of God. What a wonderful thing that is. We hear a lot today, you will excuse the expression, of 'blowing one's top', that is out as far as the Christian company is concerned. What a shameful thing when brethren express themselves in this way when they gather together to talk about the things of God, things that we have been speaking about today, the liberty that we have in Christ Jesus and many, many other features of truth. Yet we sometimes think we can express ourselves in anger, in self assertiveness in talking about divine things! It is surely a nauseous thing in the sight of heaven. Instead, how precious in His sight is the spirit of meekness, the control of the Holy Spirit, and self control in dealing with these things.

Again, "in knowledge" supply "temperance" or self-control. Knowledge, however precious, has its danger of puffing up, and begetting contentions; and in itself it is a poor safeguard against lust, ill-feeling, or passion. There is therefore the utmost need of self-restraint. Against such a guard there is no law: rather is it a calm preservative against inflation, and so falling into the fault of the evil one, as well as reproach and his snare. At no time do we more need to watch than when our feelings are acutely wounded. For they only blind us to the character of any hasty impulse and hurry us to sacrifice every Christian consideration to self. But this we are bound to distrust. It was exactly what in no case or degree wrought in Christ, who ever bowed to His Father in accepting from Him the utmost slight, dishonour, and contempt which came from those among whom He went about doing good, especially from God's people in their unbelief.

Finally, "faithfulness, gentleness, self control." These three are personal to ourselves. Do you have faith? "Have it to yourself before God" (Rom.14:22). We must neither act on the faith of another, nor press another to act on our faith, though we may give him the Word of God to encourage him to act on his own faith. Gentleness (or meekness) is that quality that simply submits to personal humiliation, if need be, without demanding our personal "rights" as we see them. Self-control is a great inner conquest, as Proverbs 16:32 reminds us: "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." In contrast, "Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls" (Prov.25:28). "Against such there is no law." They are the spontaneous fruit of the Spirit, operating unquenched and ungrieved in our lives. Law neither produces or prohibits them.

Finally we come to self-control. This is translated "temperance" in the English Bible, but it really means to have mastery, and the one over which we are to have mastery, is ourselves. I fear that this is a very rare, but very precious fruit. How few there are who truly have mastery over their own bodies, and their own minds and thoughts. Paul could say of himself: "I keep under my body, and lead it away a slave." 1 Cor. 9:27. That is true self-control. Paul had mastery over himself. Let us remember that this is a fruit of the Spirit, and only God's Spirit can give this self-control.

Further, he was to be "temperate," an expression much narrowed and so far misapplied in our day. Self-control not in one respect but in all is its real meaning. It is the quality of having every way and expression of feeling, or inclination, checked in the Christian by his sense of God's presence, grace, and fear.

Oh, learn, I beseech you to choke your wrath. Weep over your folly and sin in the presence of God. Be resolute in your endeavours to control the workings of your passions within. Firmly refuse to open your lips to utter your words while they are red hot. Let them cool, lest like Moses you speak unadvisedly with your lips (Ps. 106:33).

One who has understanding will be careful to control his temper, that is, to be "slow to wrath" (v. 29). For we must remember that circumstances may seem more serious than they actually are, and we should allow time to consider well whether we should be angry or not. If we act impulsively, we are thereby giving folly a place of exaltation. Wisdom given by God will certainly preserve us from such blunders.

This knowledge, then, leads on to "temperance." Notice that as the apostle has spoken of Scripture as first of all being "profitable for doctrine," then for "correction" so it is here. The very first thing, as we learn the truth, is to recognize the claim that the truth has upon us — the discipline of it by which it divorces us from other things, gives us thus self-restraint, the power to command ourselves; as we may be sure that we can command nothing else if we do not begin here. "In knowledge," therefore, we are to find "temperance," self-restraint. The truth is to govern us, and to give us thus the power of self-government. The heart must be in the knowledge, not the head simply; and the government of one's self, as is plain, leads on to and develops what is the next thing here, "patience."

It shows the Spirit to be the Christian's strength, and that He can make him superior to all the desires of the flesh within, which the law could never do. The principle on which the law worked was repression; it was one big and continual "don't," and if it said "do" it gave no power to accomplish its command. The principle on which the Spirit works is the exact opposite to that. First there is given to us a blessed and worthy object for our love; our hearts are engaged, and the Spirit is within to answer to Christ, who loved us and gave Himself for us. We have a new and worthy object without, and a new power within, and as we walk in the Spirit, i.e., as we are led by Him, as our hearts and minds are controlled by and occupied with His things, the desires of the flesh do not dominate us, for we have got something infinitely superior to those desires in the Spirit's things. The law would have kept down the fleshly weeds, but it could not; the Spirit works by the cultivation of the good fruit and flowers. He produces the desires, and gives direction to them and the power to realize them.

The Holy Spirit is given to us not only to pour out the love of God in our hearts. He also gives us power to say "No!" to the desires of the old nature, and to yield ourselves to the will of God, doing those things that please Him. "Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh" (Gal. 5:16).