What does the Bible say about forbearance?

Long-suffering has reference more to trying circumstances; forbearing one another refers to trying people. We rightly speak of a person showing great forbearance in the presence of provocation. This provocation may be general— something that calls for the forbearance of all. There may also be personal wrongs, which would give just cause for complaint by the one wronged. Such personal wrongs call for forgiveness. The measure of the forgiveness is to be even as Christ forgave us.

V. 14. Then we read, "To all these things add love" (N. Tn.). It is not, as in our translation, "Above all these things put on love", as if above all these qualities there is "love" as a quality apart. Love is to be added to the mercy, the kindness, and all the other qualities. All these blessed activities of the new man are to spring from love. If we show mercy, or kindness, or forbearance, or forgiveness, it should be because we love our brother. Love is "the bond of perfectness". The Apostle is speaking of the new order of man in which alone perfection can be found. In the old order, men are hateful and hating one another; in the new, all are bound together in the eternal bonds of love. One has said, "The links which are riveted in the love of Christ, and in labours for Christ, outlive the changes of time, and bind the family of God in the mansions of eternity".

Longsuffering will lead to exactly this. To forbear the other does not only mean to be ready to bear the burdens of others, but also to bear with their weaknesses. This is exactly what the Lord Jesus did with His disciples. They had a lot of flaws but He was ready to bear with them. It may even be that we must bear with the brother himself if he has become a burden to others. And we should not forget that Paul says: ‘forbearing one another’. This is not a ‘one-way street’. Today, I may be the one who must do this; tomorrow, I may be the one who must be borne with by others.

The lowliness and meekness that make nothing of self lead to long-suffering and forbearance with others. We may find at times that others are not always lowly and meek, and this will call for long-suffering. We may have to suffer rebuffs and insults, and have to bear with those who act in this way. But we are warned that the forbearance is to be exercised in love. It is possible to bear with much in the spirit of pride that treats an offending brother with contempt. If we have to be silent, let it be with love that grieves over unworthy conduct.

Lowliness and meekness are to characterise us: how else can we walk together? We have the same thing in Phil. 2, "lowliness of mind, each esteeming other better than themselves." Fellowship with each other is an impossibility, if self is allowed: heart-burnings and strife must surely follow. But suppose, in displaying lowliness and meekness, we find our brethren otherwise? Then comes the opportunity of exercising longsuffering and forbearance in love; and our earnest endeavour must be to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

It is remarkable that the first of the fruits of the Spirit towards our brethren is "long-suffering." We are sure to suffer from our brethren. So often they do not understand. So often they pain us, and blame us, and perhaps scold us, for things that they do not really comprehend at all. When we remember this, and when we have suffered long from our brethren, we truly understand what this word "long-suffering" means; then how wonderful to find that in Exodus 34:6, God Himself is described as "long-suffering." In Ephesians 4:1-3 the Apostle exhorts the beloved Ephesian Christians to walk worthy of the calling wherewith they were called, "with all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." What is the difference between lowliness and meekness? Lowliness does not give offense, and meekness does not take offense. Both are needed if we are not to quarrel with our brethren. And then comes long-suffering, as we have here in Galatians; and fourth "forbearing one another in love." You will notice that all four of these qualities are to enable us to live at peace with our brethren, and provide for suffering on our part from them. Only so can we hope to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

The exhortations comprised in the first section of chapter 4 down to verse 16, have evidently in view our calling, not as individuals but rather as members of the body of Christ, the church. In the assemblies of the saints how often friction occurs! A little experience of assembly life will suffice to convince us that this is so. Here then is an immense field for the cultivation of the beautiful graces enumerated in verse 2. The lowly mind thinks nothing of itself. Meekness, the opposite of self-assertiveness, is of course the direct outcome of lowliness. Longsuffering, the opposite of the hasty spirit so critical of others, is the child of lowliness and meekness. When all these three are in operation how simply and happily do we bear with one another in love. Let us connect the love also with what we have just been seeing in chapter 3. Rooted and grounded in love, and knowing at least something of the knowledge-surpassing love of Christ, we ourselves are enabled with eyes of love, to look out on all saints, even those amongst them who according to nature are least lovable.

Paul unfolds the vocation, and then calls on us to walk worthy of it, in the first part of chapter 4. The necessary effect of being brought so close to God as we are is lowliness and meekness; how can it be otherwise? The greatness of the grace makes nothing of self. This is not easy. In Christ's life you see it plainly enough, in Philippians also. Then the effect of lowliness and meekness is to manifest the unity of the Spirit. "With lowliness and meekness," that is what we ought to be: then the effect to others will be longsuffering; others may not be lowly and meek. Practically this brings God in and self is gone. The power of love walking with God brings in longsuffering to others. "Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." As servants of Christ, and self being gone, we are looking at others. "Yea, and if I be offered [poured as a libation] upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy and rejoice with you all."

First, such action on our part will require self-discipline or self-judgment, in the measure in which we are concerned for the good of others. Lowliness (v.2) is the willingness to be thought little of, not natural or easy for the flesh, but normal for the one who truly delights in Christ, the meek and lowly One. Meekness is the character that is willing to sacrifice personal rights for the Lord's sake with no selfish resistance. Thus, lowliness gives no offense and meekness takes no offense. Longsuffering continues patiently to bear hard things -- misunderstandings, injustices, even insults -- without frustration or anger. Forbearing. is more than bearing, for it implies no resentful reaction whatever, even inwardly, for it is motivated by genuine love.

Lowliness expresses the humility of mind that should characterise believers in their thoughts of themselves, in contrast to the vanity and pride that marks the flesh. Meekness is the spirit of gentleness that should mark us in our bearing towards others — the readiness to give place to others in contrast to the self-assertiveness that seeks a place of prominence. Longsuffering suggests the patient spirit that should mark us in relation to the trying circumstances that we may be called to pass through forbearance, the patience with which we should meet all that is trying in others. Further we are warned that love is to be the true motive in showing forbearance. It is possible to show great forbearance in the presence of insults and yet be acting in a spirit of pride that treats the offending brother with silent contempt. Furthermore, the Christian company is to be marked by unity; but this unity is "the unity of the Spirit," which we are to endeavour to keep. The unity of the Spirit is not the unity of a company of people held together by common opinions, or by a unanimous judgment, which may be far from the mind of the Spirit. It is the unity that is the outcome of being members of the body of Christ and is maintained by the saints walking together according to the one mind of the Spirit. Moreover, this unity of the Spirit is to be maintained in the uniting bond of peace. The danger is that if we are not agreed as to the mind of the Spirit we may fall into contention instead of prayerfully searching the word to learn His mind in the spirit of peace.

Longsuffering and forbearing one another

After reference to those inner qualities that maintain dependence on God and preserve quietness within, we have the longsuffering and forbearance that are necessary because there is still sin in us.

To be longsuffering is literally to be long-tempered. Where there is this quality there is not a rash reaction to provocation but self-control. If a response is appropriate, it is a considered one. We are to bear with one another, remembering that ‘we all often offend’ (Jms. 3:2). How much Christ bears with in us! Should we not bear with one another?