What does the Bible say about etiquette / manners?

Again, the Epistle endorses and emphasizes courtesy as being a grace that befits Christianity. It is very evident that the Christian is to be marked by an honesty, a candour, a transparency which is the very opposite of that hypocrisy and flattery which so greatly marks the world. Yet he is not to allow candour to degenerate into an unfeeling rudeness. He is to consider and acknowledge the rights of others and express himself with refinement of feeling and courtesy. Notice the happy way in which Paul expresses in verse 7 his approbation of the grace and kindness that characterized Philemon.

Age is to be respected, even if rebuke is called for. An elder brother is not to be rebuked sharply (N.T.), but exhorted with all the deference that a son would pay to a father. The younger men are not to be treated as of little account, but rebuked with love as brethren, the elder women with the deference due to a mother. Younger women are to be dealt with in “all purity”, thus avoiding the careless familiarity that nature might adopt.

Thus in all our dealings with one another the manner is to be such that nothing is done that would outrage propriety and give occasion for scandal.

Our conduct to them should be courteous, kind, affable. There should be no sanctimonious air as if we were better than they. We should act so as to win their respect for the Master we serve, and if possible to win them for Him.

(V. 17). As to the social positions of the world, we are to be careful not to treat men with contempt or disdain. We are not to treat a poor man with disdain, nor a rich man with servility. We are to honour both. Very specially are we to honour all in that circle in which our happy lot is cast, the brotherhood which binds us together in Christian bonds. In this circle we can do more than honour, we can love one another.

Then in our relation to all men we are to show a gentle, yielding spirit. If I am for ever standing on my dignity and rights, I shall be continually getting ruffled; whereas if I seek to show to all the grace and gentleness of Him who had right and title to everything and who claimed nothing, I shall walk through this world in the serenity that marked Him.

How often too the question of a neighbour comes up, and the danger of a prejudice! But the word is distinct: "be not a witness against thy neighbour without cause." Things might not be as one would desire, but "deceive not with thy lips." As the Lord put it, "All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them; for this is the law and the prophets." He makes it positive duty, even if the neighbour failed on his side.

How fitting it is, since the Father gives good things to those who ask Him, that this should have practical effect in our own lives. So verse 12 Indicates that, if we appreciate our Father's character, we shall show such kindness to others. How good to remember that we should act toward others in the way we desire them to act toward us. It will require serious exercise to watch that we are thoroughly fair in this matter, for we are too easily taken off guard by others acting wrongly toward us. This is no excuse for our doing the same. T he Lord was telling them nothing new, for the law and prophets spoke similarly yet only faith would respond to it.

Verses 8 and 9 are general exhortation, covering all relationships. To be all of one mind will require setting aside of personal preferences and desires, in genuine consideration for others. This in fact is ""the mind of Christ." Compare Phil.2:5. ""Sympathizing one with another" involves solicitous concern as to the trials of each other. And to this added the warmth of love, "as brethren.' 'Be pitiful" is better rendered "tender-hearted," in contrast to callousness. "Courteous" or "humble-minded" is a quality not common in the world, but Precious. And the warning is given, which requires no little repetition, not to return evil for evil. If I do so, I reduce myself to the same level as the offender. Indeed, I ought to return positive "blessing," that which is good, for in this God is rightly represented. And we ourselves have been called out of a state of evil and shame, that we might inherit a blessing from Him.Beginning with this verses, we see that there will be governmental results from God in reference to the conduct of believers, whether it is good or bad. If one will love life (that is, life in its true pure character) and see good days, let him first guard his own tongue and lips. The tongue is to refrain from evil that which is harmful in whatever way; and the lips are to be kept from guile, that which gives wrong impressions it may not be a direct lie, but is deceitful nevertheless.

Many of the young people of the present day seem to regard their parents as belonging to the old school and being deficient in education. Hence, the readiness to contradict their parents and set up their own opinion. All this is unnatural and ungodly. It ought not to be tolerated. And we may also add a hint as to the very objectionable habit adopted by many young people of calling their father and mother by heartless, objectionable names. We would entreat all our young friends to watch against these things and against the spirit from which they proceed, and to cultivate a reverential spirit which will surely lead to a respectful manner towards their parents. It is a good proof of a good education when children respect their parents. Need we add that in all matters where God's authority is concerned, it must rise above all other claims! Oh, for the adjusting power of grace and truth!

May we, then, consider one another to provoke to love and to good works, and beseech, where called for, "by the meekness and gentleness of Christ." Our speech should be "always with grace" (this is the staple) "seasoned with salt." It is not good to have too much seasoning, but love never fails, and is never inconsistent with "love in the truth."