What does the Bible say about dating?

There is only one ideal for marriage running right through the Scriptures, and that is one man joined to one woman. Nowhere do we get the idea that we should try various partners before choosing the right one. We see that the selection of a partner was often made by parents, or sometimes as a reward; but the suggestion in the New Testament is of the choice of two people to come together of their own free will; only in the will of the Lord.

Engagement should therefore be seen as a serious step of firm commitment to marry (having received clear guidance from the Lord in the decision) and not as a trial period. I would hasten to say that should a mistake be realised before one is married it would be far better to admit it and end the relationship, than to continue in a path which is not the Lord's will.

There are certain things we do not need to pray about. If a young man sets his affections on an unbelieving young woman there is no need to ask the Lord if it is His will that the marriage partnership should be contracted. The Scriptures plainly forbid it. "Only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39), is the plain injunction of Scripture. "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14), is equally clear and emphatic.

The situation of being without a partner can be painful, and the experience of loneliness can become overwhelming. At such times marriage to an unbeliever can seem like a solution, but that is not the case!… Even if your partner is exemplary on the human level and 'lets you follow your faith' it will very likely be the case that you will worship alone and read your Bible alone. You will not be able to talk with your partner about the most important things in life.

The term 'falling in love' is often used when a couple start to be friendly; this can be superficial, and we should be wary of this concept as it gives the idea of uncontrolled emotion. This could easily be lead by our old nature in a mere infatuation simply because of physical attraction, because of being continually in their company or even because of undue pressure from others.

If in both the man and woman who contemplate marriage, there is not present some real measure of this willingness to give himself or herself in loving self-denial, in diligent care and labour for the blessing of the other, then they may be certain that such a marriage has not the sanction of God. Let them proceed no further.

No legal arrangements are made: no promises are extracted: no money is paid; but gifts are given. Rebecca is simply asked, "Will you go with this man?" and in unhesitating confidence she replies, "I will go." Nor was Isaac disappointed… He had allowed God to choose, and was satisfied: if we insist on choosing for ourselves, we are in the end bound to be dissatisfied.

How important that he should make no alliance that will hinder his usefulness and service. How important that every step should be taken in dependence upon God, with earnest prayer for guidance… First of all she should be one of the Lord's people, surely, and besides she should have like faith and obedience with himself.

There is no reason why Christian young men and women should not meet and enjoy one another's company in a pure and holy way. But often it is otherwise. If you feel there is a snare in such mixing, then be honest with your own souls and avoid what might dishonor Christ and hinder spiritual growth… "younger women as sisters, in all purity" (1 Timothy 5:1-2). The last three words are important, and if overlooked, will lead to many a snare.

We must leave until marriage that freedom to enjoy all the privileges of physical closeness and union; we are forbidden to have intercourse outside of marriage and must not allow our physical emotions to control us. Such actions as staying unaccompanied in the same house should be avoided as they could lead to temptation and suspicion. "Abstain from every form of evil." 1 Thessalonians 5:22.

Do we trust ourselves to choose for ourselves? Do we consider that we deserve a good partner? Are we anxious before a certain age to find someone we deem suitable?… None of these things express faith in the Living God and His guidance, and are sure to lead us into paths we shall regret. …Far better for the Christian to remain unmarried than to marry without the guidance of God.