What does the Bible say about communication?

The tongue therefore is regarded in scripture as a mighty instrument which a man may wield for good or ill among his fellows. Speech is the great means for the publication of the thought which arises in the heart and of the dissemination of its purifying or defiling influences among others. The mouth is the medium whereby man may worship God or blaspheme His holy name. So James says, "Therewith bless we God, even the Father, and therewith curse we men who are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceeds blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be" (James 3:9-10). Hence, he that rules his spirit is mightier than he who takes a city, and "whoso keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles" (Prow. 16:32; Prov. 21:23). But who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? The seriousness of this problem James teaches when he says, "The tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly member," and, further, "So is the tongue among our members that it defiles the whole body" (James 3:6, 8). In the sense of this guilty contagiousness, Isaiah confessed that he was a man of unclean lips, and accordingly it was upon his mouth that the coal of cleansing was laid (Isa. 6:7).

Clearly, it is in agreement with the whole tenor of the word of God, that in the matter of guilty uncleanness, the functions of the mouth in speaking are of greater moral importance than those for eating, for "meat will not commend us to God: neither if we eat [things offered to idols] are we the better: neither, if we eat not are we the worse" (1 Cor. 8:8), but for "every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account in the day of judgment" (Matt. 12:36).

Next, it is not our deeds only that have to be considered, but our words. "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearers." (Ver. 29.) Worthless language is to be eschewed as one rejects good-for-nothing fruit; if it were on the tongue, let the unprofitable word proceed no farther. Unclean allusion we shall find specified and forbidden in the chapter following. Here I conceive the circle is more comprehensive. Many who would neither utter nor hear impure conversation may often have to bemoan the utterance and the sanction of unsavoury discourse. Better to be silent if there be not (such is the force) something good for needful edification. The need measures the service, and love builds up instead of puffing up as knowledge does. It is equally true that "in the multitude of words there wants not sin," and that "the lips of the righteous feed many;" they "know what is acceptable;" and those who hear are refreshed and blessed.

(Vv. 19-21). The Christian, then, instead of acting according to the corrupt desires of the flesh, is, by living in the power which works through the new nature, to be a witness of the new creation. We are called to act in practical consistency with this new nature. We are to be ready to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. Hearing is the attitude of dependence that listens to God. Speaking is the expression of our own thoughts. We are, then, to be swift to hear God's words which express His mind and will, and slow to speak words which too often only express our nature and our will. Moreover, we are not only to be slow to give utterance to the thoughts of our minds, but also slow to anger which expresses the feelings of our heart. The wrath of man does not lead to the righteousness of God, or to conduct consistent with godliness. Wherefore we are exhorted to lay aside the filthiness of the flesh and the abounding wickedness of the heart which manifests itself by hasty words and unrighteous anger. We are to deal with the evil that lies behind the malicious words and the outbursts of anger. But this will not be by attempting to obey an outward law, which only stirs up the flesh, but by laying aside every phase of it, and receiving with meekness the implanted word of God. It is the word received into the soul, not with reasonings and questions, but in the meekness that submits to what God has to say. The word thus engrafted in the soul will work to save us from all the evils of the flesh and of the world. We are thus not only begotten by the word but we become changed in character and grow in grace by the same word.

How admirable is the wisdom Jehovah gives the heart! and not less on the negative or dark side than on the positive, especially where the knowledge that accompanies it is pleasant to the soul. Discretion and discernment follow with vigilance against an evil world. Violence and greed are not the only dangers but the way of evil through deceitful speech. Silence is not always golden; but "the tongue of the just is choice silver" (Prov. 10:20); or, as the New Testament exhorts, "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt." How powerful is the soft and pure answer, not only to turn away wrath, but to check heat and pride and will! It is dangerous to hear froward things; it is wicked to speak them. How soon after this the paths of uprightness are forsaken to walk in the ways of darkness! — evil words allowed lead to a walk which God's light never illumines. How sad the descent in rejoicing to do evil! — delighting in the frowardness, or deceits of evil! It is to glory in the worst shame — how crooked in their paths and perverse in their course! Truly their judgment is just.

But the apostle goes on more fully into this question of the tongue. "If any offend not in word, he is a perfect man, able to bridle also the whole body." And yet how easily we let our tongues run on! In fact, the place that the apostle gives the tongue is that which governs the whole body. The bit in the horse's mouth is a small thing in itself, and yet the whole body is turned by it. The ships, in the midst of violent winds that act upon them, yet are turned about by a very small rudder, according to the direction that the helmsman gives. So, we may think little of the tongue, although it is the very thing by which we boast so much, but, verily, "How much wood can be kindled by how small a fire!" And here he breaks out into a description of it which is startling in its vehemence. "The tongue is a fire. The world of iniquity among our members is the tongue, which defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature, and is set on fire of hell." Of course, he is speaking of it as unrestrained by the fear of God, or unguided by the power of the Spirit. How much might we speak of the wonderful power of the tongue on the other side! What a ministry of comfort and blessing is in it! But the best gifts are in their perversion just as fruitful for evil as they are good when used aright. The sweetest ties, the most precious relationships that God has instituted amongst men, are just in the same proportion fruitful for evil in their perversion. Nevertheless there is, no doubt, a special need for such a warning as this with regard to the tongue. How apt we are to be careless about it! How apt we are to release it somewhat from the control that we ought to exercise over it! How soon, if it escapes from such control, it does the damage which we know a little fire may! How much further evil may a little evil in it — mere unguarded words, as we say — excite in others! It is an untamable evil, says the apostle; that is, of course, naturally. We have always to govern it, saints as we may be. The liberty which is truly ours does not extend, as we know, to a liberty with regard to that body which is still unredeemed, which is dead because of sin; and among Christians, where is there, in fact, any source of evil, and so readily allowed to manifest itself, as the tongue? "It is a restless evil," says the apostle, always seeking expression, yet "full of death-bringing poison." "We bless the Lord on the one hand, and curse men on the other; men whom God has made in His own likeness. Blessing and cursing come out of the same mouth. How thorough an inconsistency, as the apostle urges! In nature you do not find such things. The fountain does not send forth sweet and bitter water out of the same opening; nor a fig tree yield olives; nor a vine, figs; nor can that which is salt produce sweet water. Nature itself in this way rebukes one who was meant to be the lord of nature, as the image of Him who is the Governor over all. He has, alas, yielded himself to the government of another, and thus he has lost the power of government, largely, over nature, but above all over himself. The child of God away from God displays in full reality the power of the fall, and, as the apostle urges here, the tongue is an eminent example of this.

In the next place, the mouth and the lips are to be guarded. This naturally follows upon the exhortation just considered, because our words are the index of the heart. The Lord Jesus taught this when He said, "O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things." (Matt. 12:34-35.) Again and again did He warn those around Him of the danger arising from uncontrolled speech, and in every part of Scripture the warning is repeated. James especially deals with the subject in most solemn language (chap. 3), and he even says that "if any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body"; and in the Psalms prayer after prayer is found for the guard and preservation of the lips from speaking evil. The means for the attainment of this desired end is that Christ and His things should fill our hearts, and then our conversation will flow out from that with which we are occupied.

"Mary." You do not tell us where you live, but we fear the evil to which you call our attention is not confined to your locality, or to the special class to which you refer, namely, "unmarried females." The sin of "backbiting" prevails everywhere, and amongst all classes, to an appalling extent. It is an abominable, yea, a diabolical evil. It has been truly said, "The backbiter injures three persons, namely, himself, his hearer, and the subject of his tale." If I have any fault to find with a person, he himself ought to be the very first to hear of it. How little is this attended to! We meet a person with a smile and a shake of the hand, and no sooner have we parted company with him, than we commence to disparage him in some way or another. "I am determined," said an old saint, "never to speak of a mans virtues to his face, or of his faults behind his back." Noble determination! But alas! alas! how little is it acted upon! We generally reverse the order; we flatter people to their face, and blacken them behind their back. The Lord deliver us from this sinful and shameful practice! It is most assuredly of the devil. We want to be more faithful in speaking to people — more gracious in speaking of them. If we see anything wrong in a person, let us go directly to him and speak plainly; and if we have nothing good to say of him, let us graciously draw the curtain of silence around him. This would save a world of mischief; it would prevent untold sorrow and heart-burning. "Speak not evil one of another, brethren." This is a seasonable word, and yet, alas! how few act upon it. There seems such a want of common honesty, such an absence of even manly frankness, such meanness and cowardliness in saying behind a man's back what we would not dare to say to his face. Christians should flee from all this. It is most contemptible. No doubt "unmarried females" are more exposed to this evil, than those whose hands are well filled with domestic work. We gather this from the pungent words of the apostle, in 1 Timothy 5:13: "Withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house: and not only idle, but tattlers also, and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not." It may be said that this passage applies to "the younger widows;" but then the spirit of it applies wherever the evil exists. It is a good thing to be fully employed; it saves one from a great deal of evil, and from backbiting amongst the rest; against which we solemnly warn the reader. The devil is a backbiter — the chief of backbiters, and all who indulge in the practice are doing his work. We would recommend you, dear friend, and all our readers, to adopt Solomon's remedy in all cases of backbiting. He says, "The north wind drives away rain; so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue." Never listen to a backbiter, for if you do you are a partaker of his evil. Let us remember that the way of the Lord is to speak faithfully to us, but graciously of us. Let us seek to imitate this, and not be found doing Satan's work.

It is one thing, however, to seize an opportunity, and another to use it to best advantage. Words not fitly spoken are often more to be deplored than no word being spoken at all. Our words are to be always with grace. Never are we to descend to the censorious, or the bitter, or the cutting remark. But then on the other hand our words, while full of grace, are not to aim at merely pleasing men. They are to be seasoned with that which salt represents — the pungent quality of truth. Grace and truth were found in our Lord and they should mark those who are His, even characterizing their words.

"But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these, cometh of evil." If our words are honest and true, they need no other confirmation than "yes" or "no." The sense of this double mention of yes and no becomes clear from a very similar passage in James 5:12: "Yes" should really mean "Yes," and "No" should really mean "No." All that is more than that is only a sign that one generally does not take the truth too seriously, and therefore "cometh of evil."

Our relations with each other are much before the apostle; "every man with his neighbour" (v. 25); "to one another kind" (v. 32); "speaking to yourselves" (Eph. 5:19); "submitting yourselves to one another" (Eph. 5:21). Having put off the old man and put on the new man, we are to finish with everything savouring of falsehood, and to be wholly occupied in speaking what bears the character of truth; and this because we are indissolubly connected in divine ties in the body of Christ. No one would wilfully damage a member of his physical body; surely the members of Christ's body are dearer to us and of far more value. Communicating truth to each other will bring edification, for the truth builds up.