What does the Bible say about bitterness?

Verse 31 speaks of those things which result from the nursing of bad feeling in the heart -- bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking, together with malice. These sinful attitudes and practices are to be judged unsparingly, and resolutely put away. There is no place for them among the saints of God. We must not allow ourselves the slightest excuse for the breaking out of such things, for they stem from sin, not from infirmity.

On the other hand, how precious to cultivate the contrasting virtues of verse 32. Even at a time when the feelings of a child of God are badly hurt, he has within him that blessed nature that may still be kind, tenderhearted and forgiving. Indeed, such character is thoroughly consistent for those who have known that "God in Christ" has forgiven us. It is not simply because of Christ's intercession that God has forgiven us, but rather that God is the blessed Author of the forgiving grace that has been manifested to us in the person of the Lord Jesus and in His matchless sacrifice of love. God delights to forgive as seen in the sending of His beloved Son. Let this be rightly valued and we will show similar character in that measure in which we lay hold of the grace of God to enjoy it.

(V. 15). Fifthly, the Apostle exhorts us to look “diligently” against anyone lacking the grace of God. Failing of the grace of God is losing confidence in God's grace and the practical enjoyment of what God is for us. In result some root of bitterness may spring up, troubling the saints, and many may be defiled by entertaining bitter thoughts of one another.

The word for "looking diligently" does not mean looking at ourselves lest we should fail. We are to be overseers. Cain insolently asked, "Am I my brother's keeper?" and we can answer, "Yes." We are to see that no one of our brethren fails or is lacking in the grace of God. Notice that the object of oversight is not primarily the walk or the details of the life, but its source. It may be necessary to take knowledge of a brother's walk, to deal faithfully with such as have turned away from the Lord or dishonored Him, but the primary object of brotherly oversight is to see that no one is lacking in the grace of God. If you see a tendency in any to lose the sense of God's grace, if the free grace and love of God cease to have a charm for the soul, that is the danger sign for us. And oftentimes we would be of the greatest help to one another if we guarded against this.

If grace is lacking, some bitter root of self-will is bound to come up. The bitter root is in the flesh and it is only grace that can keep it down. When it springs up and troubles us, how many does a bitter root defile! Achan did not suffer alone; and the rebellion of Korah was accompanied by widespread murmuring. May the Lord enable us to judge everything that is contrary to His grace. Let us be established in grace, and the bitter roots, the self-will of sin will not have opportunity to spring up and defile.

(Vv. 30, 31). In the first part of the chapter the exhortation to a worthy walk flows from the great truth that believers collectively are the dwelling-place of the Holy Spirit. Here we are reminded that as individuals we are sealed by the Spirit. God has marked us out as His own in view of the day of redemption by giving us the Spirit. We are to beware of grieving the Holy Spirit by allowing bitterness, the heat of passion, wrath and noisy clamour, injurious language and malice.

If we come to particulars, "all bitterness," I think, denotes every form of the sharp, unsparing mood which repels souls instead of winning them, and makes the most of the real or imagined faults of others. The "wrath and anger," next following, refer to the outburst of passion, and the more settled vindictive resentment, to which the indulgence of acrimony gives rise, a "clamour and evil speaking" are their respective counterparts in words: all flowing from the deep-seated fountain of "all malice," which is finally condemned in our verse. Thus, as we were warned against dishonesty in word and deed, before the allusion to the Holy Spirit's seal, so now, after it, hatred in its various parts and expressions is denounced. It is, alas, natural to the first man Adam — the same corruption and violence which brought the flood on the world of old, but, spite of God's judgment, renewed itself, and will, till Christ deal with man and Satan in person.

But, as was observed in the previous verses, bare abstinence from the mind and workings of the flesh suffices not. There is the activity of good in Christ, the second Man, and this the Spirit produces as well as demands in the Christian. Hence it is added, "Be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ has forgiven you." Clearly, therefore, It is a question of showing grace; and the pattern of it all is God in Christ, not in the law, holy, just and good as the commandment is. But good as the law was and is, Christ is the best of all, the genuine and only foil and perfect expression of what God is. And leaving the law to deal with the wicked (1 Tim. 1), as the apostle expressly declares is its lawful use, we who are dead with Christ are not under law but grace, which, by the power of the Spirit, strengthens us according to its own character and gives communion with Him who is its source.

Husbands are no less responsible. They are to love their wives. Let them make no excuse for not doing so! They are not told to enforce their wives' submission, but real love for the wife would encourage her submission. It is a sad necessity that requires the added words, "do not be bitter toward them" (v.19). Often a husband expects his wife to measure up to a certain standard, and if she does not, he may disobey Scripture by being bitter toward her. He may well ask himself, what standard does he himself measure up to? -- for it is not the standard of Scripture. His bitterness will certainly not encourage either her love or her submission to him. If he obeys Scripture by truly loving his wife and not being bitter toward her, this is the only way he will influence her attitude ;and actions for good. On the other hand, the obedience of the wife to Scripture in practicing a gracious submission of faith will go far in properly influencing her husband.

In James 3 the apostle recurs to the tongue, the most ready index to the heart, the proof whether the new man is in action, whether nature and self-will are under restraint. But there is hardly anything here which needs remark, although much that demands the hearing ear. Where there is the divine life, knowledge does not display itself in mere words, but in the walk and by works in which the meekness of true wisdom will be seen. Bitterness and contention are not the fruits of a wisdom that comes from above, but are earthly, of the nature of a man, and of the enemy.

He suffered for righteousness, and He suffered for sin; but, besides this, He entered, as taking by grace a place among the godly remnant in Israel, into all which that remnant would feel as seeing the state of Israel (of which they were actually part) under the chastening hand of God for sin. All this He felt as none else could feel. His sympathy is as perfect now, though no longer passing through the sorrows by which He gained the experience of it. Besides, it is only in the part which has to be broken and corrected that we suffer; a touched affection, when Christ is with us in the grief, is of infinite sweetness, though the sweetness of sorrow. It is only when the will mixes itself up with the sorrow that there is any bitterness in it, or pain in which Christ is not. But then this is all useful and what we need. The Lord takes your dear babe to heaven (certainly he has no loss): what is the rest of God's dealings in it with us - with one's heart? He who has made a mother's feelings knows what they are - knows what He has wounded, and knows why - has a purpose of love in it. There is a mass of things in the sincerest of us of which we are not aware, which are not brought into subjection to God, which work and shew themselves unsuspected. God breaks in upon us; how many things He shews - how many cords He cuts at one blow! A whole system of affections is touched: we feel that death has its place and part in them. I never saw a family the same thing after the first death that it was before. There was a breach in the circle. What belonged to the whole body of affections and life of this world was touched, was found to be - mortal: it was struck in its very nature. The course of life went on; the wave had closed over that which had been cast into it; but death, and the affections which belong to this world, had been found to meet. But all this is well; for death is come in. Besides we live in these things; our will lives in them; and when the will is broken, so far as it is so, it is broken for everything. We learn much more to lean on what never breaks - not to lose our affections, but to have them more in connection with Christ, less with this will of our own nature; for nature must now die as well as sin. But then Christ never makes a breach, except to come in and connect the soul and heart more with Himself; and it is worth all the sorrow that ever was, and more, to learn the least atom more of His love and of Himself; and there is nothing like that, nothing like Him; and it lasts.

Further, looking beyond the immediate trial, and seeing the LORD'S hand dealing with us for our blessing, will lead to rest and calmness of soul. Instead of fretting and bitterness of soul, we shall find "rest from the days of adversity." (v. 13). Even so, Hannah found in her sore trial, when she turned to the LORD, "poured out her soul before the LORD," and was "no more sad." Her circumstances were not changed, but she was changed, for, by pouring out her soul before the LORD, she passed from bitterness of soul to rest of soul (1 Samuel 1:15, 18).

I heard of a Christian man who was dying and not happy. The cause of the unhappiness was that for years he had nursed unkind feelings towards a fellow Christian. Some quarrel had happened between them, and neither had had the grace to forgive the other. Conscious that he was soon to be in the presence of the Lord, he sent for the brother, and confessing his hard feelings besought his forgiveness, and at the bedside of the dying man these two, long divided in heart, were reconciled, and with the reconciliation returned the joy of the Lord's approval and of happy, holy fellowship with each other. It is probable that the lack of joy and freshness in many Christian lives, and much of the futile energy put forth in service, can he traced to the same sort of spirit that had robbed these two of joy for years. It is a matter about which every Christian heart should be exercised, for the fact is, we are not in communion with the Lord if we nurse an unforgiving spirit. If I have hard feelings on my heart against any saint on earth, I am out of communion with the Lord no matter how great my zeal may be in His service or extensive my knowledge of His truth. And the things of God cannot prosper in the hands of anyone who is out of communion with the Lord. The deadness in many companies of Christians may be traced to this same cause; roots of bitterness have been allowed to develop and bear their horrid fruit, and what is of Christ has languished and died. Ecclesiastical correctness will not compensate for this. God looks at the heart, and to be externally right and inwardly wrong is an abomination to Him.