What does the Bible say about being self-centered?

(1) “Men shall be lovers of their own selves.” The first and outstanding characteristic of Christendom in these last days is the love of self. This is in direct contrast with true Christianity which teaches us that Christ “died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live to themselves, but to Him which died for them, and rose again.”

First (Vv. 1-4); we are warned that in the last days the mass who compose the great Christian profession will be marked by uncontrolled selfishness, leading to every form of evil and self-indulgence. The solemn description commences with the statement that "men shall be lovers of their own selves." Hence they covet for self, boast in self, are proud of themselves, and are impatient of every form of restraint upon self, human or divine. They indulge self according to their own evil lusts and are lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.

"For men shall be lovers of self." Such is the opening characteristic, so grievous to the Lord and His own in those bearing His name. Justly does it hold the first place in this list of Christ-dishonouring professors; for it is a very mother of evils, as it directly contravenes the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning His children. Christ died for all indeed; but the moral end was that those who live (whatever others do who remain dead) "should henceforth not live unto themselves, but unto Him Who for them died and rose again" (2 Cor. 5:15). "A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are My disciples, if ye have love one to another" (John 13:34-35). For "every one that loveth Him that begat loveth him also that is begotten of Him. By this we know that we love the children of God when we love God and keep His commandments, and His commandments are not grievous" (1 John 5:1-3).

Thus, loving God proves that we truly love His children; as obeying His commands proves that we truly love God. So the first condition of discipleship, if we hear our Lord (Matt. 16:24, Mark 8:34), is denying self, the clean contrary of loving it. Oh, what a pattern in Him Who, though He was rich, yet for our sakes became poor that we through His poverty might become rich! Fully do I admit that such love as we are called to is not the original unfallen condition of Adam, still less of course the hateful and hating state of man now; it is what we see and know in the Second Man, the last Adam; it is to be imitators of God, as dear children, and to walk in love as the Christ also loved us and gave Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God of a sweet-smelling savour (Eph. 5:1-2). As having put on the new man and sealed with the Holy Spirit of God, no other standard could be set before us; in awful contrast with which stand lovers of self, and so much the more sadly, if baptized to Christ's name and death.

"The love of many shall wax cold," and no wonder when self-love waxeth so hot. It was foretold also by the apostle (2 Tim. 3:1-2), "In the last days … men shall be lovers of their own selves"; and what a black regiment follows this captain, sin! If once a man makes self the whole of his aim, farewell loving of, or praying for others: charity cannot dwell in so narrow a house as the self-lover's heart; yea, it is opposed to it: "Love seeketh not her own" (1 Cor. 13:5).

It is well worth stressing because there are those today who speak about loving oneself as if it were a right thing, whereas in second Timothy it is noted as a feature that marks corrupt Christian profession in the last days "Men shall be lovers of their own selves" (2 Tim. 3:2).

Let us then now briefly consider this emphatically anti-Christian sin of selfishness. We call it anti-Christian because it is expressly recorded of Christ our Lord that He “pleased not Himself” (Rom. 15:3). This strikes at once at the root of the matter, for when we read (1 John 2:6) that we ought to walk as Christ, and remember these are the words of GOD, and then turn to the scripture just quoted, we must at once see that all selfishness is truly anti-Christian. If, however, example is not enough, we have the precept as well. “Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth (or good)” (1 Cor. 10:24). “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” Phil. 2:4. Most touching of all, perhaps, to the heart that has tasted the love of Christ, to whom He is precious, is 2 Corin­thians 5:14, 15, “For the love of Christ constraineth us; ...He died for all, that they which live should not hence­forth live unto themselves, but unto Him which died for them, and rose again.”

In many cases we do not mean to be selfish, but being care­less in following Christ and having naturally ourselves instead of Him as our object, this vice shows itself in little ways in almost all we do. We trust that to many of our readers a word will be enough to point out this un-Christlike sin, which per­haps unknown to themselves has been undermining their Christian life and taking away from the power of their words to others. If we look at one of the characteristics of “love” in 1 Corinthians 13:5, “seeketh not her own,” and then turn and quietly look at our own lives by the side of it, the light of the Word like a sunbeam in a dusty room throws out into strong relief all the “little foxes” of small petty selfish deeds that have so spoiled the “tender” grapes of our spiritual life.

Love is here set as the seal of Christian service upon the heart and conscience of the believer, in the place of the letter of Law. The Law repressed and forbade evil: "Thou shalt not covet," etc. Grace, acting on the affections of the new man, calls forth into operative exercise desires which are eternally opposed to that evil selfishness which the letter vainly essayed to subdue. "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself," was originally addressed to man in the flesh. Its fulfilment is possible only by those who, as new-born in Christ of the Father's love, are already members one of another according to the unity of the Spirit of life. The heart of a Christian who is rejoicing in his portion by a lively faith, goes forth willingly to meet the commandments of God. They are not grievous to one who is himself "of God."

Verse 4 takes us yet a step further: "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." This is simply a very real concern for the well-being of others, a happy characteristic of Christianity in a world so entirely selfish. We cannot however suppose that all Christians are characteristically Christian in the practice of this virtue. Indeed, Paul in this very chapter, in commending Timothy, laments, "I have no man like-minded, who will naturally care for your state.

For all seek their own, not the things that are Jesus Christ's" (vv. 20, 21). This selfish attitude is, alas, all too natural to us, and we shall not be otherwise minded without both real purpose of heart and having our eyes fixed on the right Object.

(Vv. 3, 4). Having exposed the root of all discord, the Apostle sets before us the true Christian spirit whereby unity can alone be preserved among the people of God. He says, “In lowliness of mind each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man upon his own things (qualities), but every man also on the things (qualities) of others.” The Apostle does not speak simply of the “lowly word,” which can be uttered even to magnify self. He speaks of the lowly mind, which forgets self altogether, and thinks only of others and their good.