What does the Bible say about assertiveness?

(V. 14). If, then, we are called upon to suffer for righteousness' sake, we are not to bemoan our lot, but rather rejoice, even as Paul and Silas, when persecuted at Philippi, could at midnight sing praises to God, though unjustly cast into prison because they had crossed the interests of some evilly-disposed men. There is, however, the danger of yielding to an unrighteous course through fear of consequences. We are therefore warned against the fear of man, and being troubled by the dread of what may happen if we do right.

(V. 15). Our safeguard against yielding to unrighteousness will be found in sanctifying the Lord in our hearts. By giving the Lord His rightful place in our hearts, we shall be conscious of the presence of the Lord to support us in the presence of men. We shall thus not only escape the temptation to yield to what we know to be wrong in order to escape trouble, but we shall be enabled to render a positive testimony to the truth, giving a reason for our hope with meekness and fear. Acting in a spirit of meekness we shall not offend by seeking to assert ourselves and our opinions; acting in fear before God we shall be bold to maintain the truth. While we are not to be afraid of man's fear (verse 14), it becomes us to walk in the holy fear of God.

The Apostle thinks of the envy and malice, the insults and affronts, the bitterness and evil speaking, that believers have to meet. In the presence of those things we have to beware of the natural tendency to answer the flesh by the flesh, to revile when reviled, and to seek to take revenge on an offender. We have neither to assert out rights nor avenge ourselves. All is to be met in "Gentleness" - the spirit of Christ. As the Apostle can say, "Let your gentleness be known of all men" (N.Tn). Gentleness is irresistible, but how can we act in a way so contrary to our natural tendency? Only as we realise that the Lord is our resource. Thus the Apostle can say, "The Lord is near" (N.Tn.). He is near to support us; as the Apostle can say, in another Epistle, when some did him much evil and all deserted him, "Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me" (2 Tim. 4:17). He is near as the One to whom we can commit ourselves when reviled by others (1 Peter 2:23). He is near to act on our behalf in His own time and way, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord" (Rom. 12:9). Realising His presence - that He is near - we can afford to be silent, and "be still," and learn that the Lord is God, a very present help in trouble (Ps. 46:1, 10).

Further we should be slow to wrath. The self-assertive man, who can hardly stop to listen to anything but must at once speak his own opinion is apt to get very angry when he finds that others do not accept his opinion at his own high valuation of it! On the other hand, here may be a believer of godly life who pays great heed to God's word and only speaks with consideration and prayer, and yet his opinion is equally turned aside! Well, let him be slow to wrath for if it be merely man's anger it accomplishes nothing that is right in God's sight. Divine anger will be made to serve His righteous cause, but not man's anger.

Every servant of Christ should be bold. He has nothing to conceal and should have nothing to fear. “The righteous are bold as a lion” (Prov. 28:1). The possession of the truth, held with a good conscience in the fear of God, raises the soul above all other fear.

We read that Moses “feared not the wrath of the king.” He caused that king to tremble. He was bold.

Elijah, standing before the Lord, was fearless in the presence of the godless King Ahab, and foretold a drought which would only be removed at his word. He was bold.

It is only as we walk with the Lord before us, according to the first three exhortations, that we shall be able to carry out this exhortation which sets before us the character of gentleness by which we should be known of all men. Too often we are known for our self-assertiveness, for our strong opinions, and perhaps violence of expression, in relation to the affairs of this world. If our minds are set on things above we shall not be eager to assert ourselves in regard to things on earth. As to these matters we do well to yield to others and be reticent of asserting our opinions. Thus we shall wear the beautiful character of Christ who was marked by "meekness and gentleness" (2 Cor. 10:1). We are to beware of being drawn into strife with those who may oppose, for "the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle to all men" (2 Tim. 2:24). Let us remember it is more important to exhibit the character of Christ, than to assert our opinions, even if right, or to defend ourselves. Men can oppose our opinions, our assertions, and our violence; but who can stand against gentleness? As one has said, "Gentleness is irresistible."

(V. 10.) In speaking in these solemn and plain terms, Paul makes manifest that he is no mere man pleaser, ready to abandon the truth and compromise with error, in order to stand well with the crowd. No man was more gentle, lowly and gracious than the Apostle, but no one was bolder, more vehement and plain of speech if the truth was in question. Were it otherwise, he would have ceased to be "the servant of Christ." Well for every servant to follow his example, even as he also followed Christ (1 Cor. 11:1). In the presence of insults the Lord was silent (Mark 15:3-5). When it was a question of bearing witness to the truth He spoke out plainly (John 18:33-38).

The opposition of the world is realized, but without alarm. He will speak of God's testimonies before kings, and not be ashamed; and will delight himself in His commandments which he has loved. These things, I think, go together. The former is an exemplification of the latter: while the boldness of the confession of the truth maintains the joy of it also in the heart. So it ever is.

David however uses a soft answer. He had come because his father had sent him: was there anything offensive in what he had done or said? So also the Lord Jesus did not respond angrily to Israel, his brethren according to the flesh, when they treated Him with unjust contempt. Yet He did not give up doing that for which God had sent him. We must not be intimidated by relatives or friends, no more than by enemies.

In the first case fury is presupposed. As this dishonours God and misbecomes man, a soft answer disarms it. On the contrary, a grievous or mortifying word excites anger. Christ is our example, into whose lips grace was poured; and, when reviled, He reviled not again. Yet who so withering to the proud and hypocritical (Matt. 23)? Who so unsparing even of an apostle when a stumbling block (Matt. 16:23)?

When wrong is present, wisdom will seek to bring the help that meets the wrong. Secret love may wink at the evil, but this is not the true love of God: it is no help to the guilty party. Candid open rebuke in a spirit of kindness, not of mere censure, is both honesty and goodness. It may wound to some degree, even when done in a lowly, friendly way, but even the offender should recognize faithfulness in this, and if he rightly takes it to heart, his wounds will heal well. Moreover, it may lead him to love the wise reprover. Again, this kind of work, to be rightly done, requires true self-judgment and communion with God.