What does the Bible say about the advice to "be yourself" and "you do you"?
Answered from the commentary of The Bible Treasury, C. H. Mackintosh, Leslie M. Grant and 6 others
The advice to “be yourself” and “you do you” is not the Bible’s counsel: the heart is deceitful, and trusting in it is folly. Our own desires and judgment can mislead us, so we are to bring our thoughts and intentions before God’s word and seek His will.
The Christian path is to deny self, give up the claim to do one’s own will, and follow Christ. This means living for God’s will rather than our own gratification, with the mind renewed to prove His good, acceptable, and perfect will. In matters of personal liberty, however, each is responsible to the Lord; love calls us to consider others and to give up our liberty when using it would cause a brother to stumble.
Verses: Romans 12:2, Proverbs 3:5, Proverbs 3:6, Jeremiah 17:9, Galatians 2:20, 1 Corinthians 11:1, 1 Corinthians 10:31, Philippians 2:3, Philippians 2:4, Philippians 2:5, Ephesians 4:22, Ephesians 4:23, Ephesians 4:24, Colossians 3:9, Colossians 3:10, 1 Peter 1:14, 1 Peter 1:15, 1 Peter 1:16, 1 Corinthians 10:23, 1 Corinthians 10:24, Romans 14:13, Romans 14:19, 1 Corinthians 8:9, Galatians 5:13, Philippians 4:8
The above is AI generated summary based on the writers below.
What the commentators say
The passages the answer is drawn from, the most direct first, with the words that bear on the question marked.
The Path of Suffering (v. 23-27). The Lord opens His instruction with the words, "If any man will come after Me." Touching words that presume He has gone before and marked out a path for His own, and, drawn by love, that they would seek to tread where He has trod. At the entrance of this path we find these searching words, "Let him deny himself." Men speak of self-denial, and have self-denial weeks, by which they mean denying themselves certain things for a limited period of time to help some benevolent cause. This, however, is the very opposite of denying self, for it rather adds to self-complacency and the exaltation of self. The denial of self is not simply denying ourselves certain things, but the denial of the man that lusts after these. The denial of self is the ignoring of self altogether in order to serve others in love. Such was the path that the Lord ever trod while passing through this world of need. Moreover, as rejected by this world, Christ is in the outside place of reproach, and those who follow Him will find that they too will have to face reproach. Thus the Lord exhorts the one that comes after Him to "take up his cross daily." For the Lord the cross meant not only suffering and shame from the hands of men, but also the far deeper sufferings from the hand of God. He was alone in His sufferings at the hand of a holy God, when made sin; but in His sufferings from men we can in our little measure share, and He has left us the perfect example of such sufferings for we are told to consider Him that "endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of God" (Heb. 12:2). We are exhorted "To go forth … to Him without the camp, bearing His reproach." Moreover, this reproach is to be taken up "daily." This is a searching word, for it is comparatively easy to make some great sacrifice on some special occasion, but the "daily" acceptance of the path of reproach and suffering for Christ's sake in everyday life calls for great grace. But how is it possible to deny self and accept reproach? Only as we have an object that is greater than self before us. Thus the Lord adds the words, "Follow Me." Furthermore, to follow after Christ must mean the letting go of the present life. Whoever, believer or unbeliever, lives only for the present life, is living a life that he must inevitably lose, for at best it is but a passing life. To have Christ before us, is to live a life that will never pass away: — a life that can be enjoyed now, but will only be known in all its fulness in life's eternal home. Lastly, it is impossible to follow Christ and at the same time walk with the world and seek its advantages. Paul, with Christ as his life, could say, "What things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ." Even for the unbeliever what advantage is there in gaining the whole world for a few fleeting years and then to be lost for eternity? For the believer to associate with the world and seek its advantages and honours must mean the loss of all present joy in the Lord, the end of all testimony for the Lord, and the forfeiture of His approval in the day "When He shall come in His own glory and in His Father's, and of the holy angels." Thus to follow truly a rejected Christ will mean, as to this present world, the refusal of self, the reproach of men, the loss of the present life with the world and its advantages.
If any one therefore thinks of following the leading of the Lord Jesus, let him be fully prepared. he is called upon first to deny himself (v.23), which means not merely giving up certain advantages, but giving up himself, to deny himself any title of making decisions merely on his own. It means denying himself any rights as belonging to earth. He is to take up his cross daily and follow Christ. Matthew 16:24 does not include the word "daily," for there the initial decision is emphasized, but Luke emphasizes a daily practice.
The force of "deny himself" is hardly expressed by "self-denial," which is the denying oneself of something. What the Lord speaks of is not that but the denial, or the saying of "no," to oneself. Also, "take up his cross" does not mean bearing trials and troubles merely. The man who in those days took up his cross was being led to execution. He was a man who had to accept death at the hands of the world. To say "no" to oneself is to accept death internally, on one's own spirit: to take up one's cross is to accept death externally at the hands of the world. That is what discipleship must mean, since we follow the Christ who died, rejected of the world.
Verse 24 then is specially significant for Peter and every follower of the Lord. To be a true disciple one must deny himself (including his mere natural thoughts), take up his cross, and follow the Lord Jesus. The denial here is not merely denying oneself certain things, but denying himself. Self is set aside by the application of the cross, which cuts out by the roots all that is merely of the natural man. Only this is true devotedness: Christ must take the place of Self.
“If only we exercise a little self denial every day, we shall get on to heaven very comfortably.” What a volume of wholesome practical truth in this brief utterance! The path of self-denial is the Christian's true path. “If any man,” says Christ, “will come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily, and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). It is not, “let him deny certain things belonging to himself.” No, he must “deny himself,” and this is a “daily” thing. Each morning, as we rise and enter afresh upon the pathway of daily life, we have the same grand and all-important work before us, namely, to deny self.
Turning to the New Testament, you have in Luke 9 what answers to this: "If any man will come after me, let him" — "take up his cross, and follow me?" Is that it? Not in the first instance — that is the outside — but "let him deny himself;" that is the inside circle. Then it is, "Let him take up his cross daily, and follow me." In this way you have both inside and outside; and where there is a true desire to represent Christ in that power which He has given us, the first thing is, I must rend my own mantle, I must refuse myself. This I take to be the meaning of "denying myself." Not merely abstaining from certain things, but I refuse myself. Wonderful liberty! I know nothing more wonderful than this. I refuse myself in toto completely. I get motives, springs, thoughts, objects, altogether from another, and hence I can deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Jesus.
To deny one's self means that you make up your mind that the things of God are going to be first in your life; not your will, but the will of God. Then you accept the judgment of God upon man after the flesh, for the cross means that God has ended the flesh as a means of producing anything for Him. Both its best and its worst are completely set aside. You may remember in the sin offering the skin went into the fire, that is the best of it; but the dung went in as well, that is the worst of it. While we may be thankful we have power to judge and set aside the worst of the flesh, we may often be captivated by the best of it. If we accept the cross of Christ we bring that cross to bear on every motive of the flesh, good as well as bad. There is only one way left open now to the man who has reached self-displacement, who has accepted the judgment of God upon himself in relation to the flesh, and that is, to follow Jesus. It would raise the question with one, What am I really seeking? Is it that I may be glorified, or that Christ may be glorified? Is the state of my heart right as having but one desire, that Christ may be glorified in my life here?
Peter's error gave the Lord the opportunity of pointing out the character of the path which all His own must tread. "If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; and whosoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it." Thus if the cross must needs be His portion, His followers must accept the cross also. For Him, of course, the cross meant atonement for sin, as well as rejection and shame; we share the rejection and shame only. But nature shrinks from, and even resents, this. Its motto (suggested by Satan) is "Spare thyself"; God's motto is "Deny thyself." It has been truly said that Peter "at the last denied the Lord because he had not denied himself."
In verse 34 both His disciples and all the people need what He tells them. If one wants to come after Him, he is called upon to deny himself (not only to deny certain pleasures or advantages, but himself), take up his cross and follow Him. This involves wholehearted, willing self-denial for Christ's sake. There are those who consider this matter of taking up the cross as having to bear trials and afflictions that we cannot avoid. This is not the case. Rather it is a question of our voluntarily accepting the reproach of Christ by a clear confession of Him before a world that rejects Him. Let us do this gladly, cheerfully, out of honest affection for the Lord Jesus. He who would save his life is the one who wants to use it for his own personal advantage. After all, he will only lose it in the end, and what does he have? On the other hand, he who would lose his life is one who is willing to give up the present personal advantages of it for Christ's sake and for the sake of the gospel. In the end this would be actually saving his life, for it would produce lasting, profitable results. Selfishness always defeats its own ends, while unselfish devotion to Christ gains far more than we have any desire to gain.
These words are addressed to the disciples and not to unbelievers. It is therefore not a question of salvation. We are not asked to deny self and take up the cross in order to be saved. These words tell us that the way the Lord went is the way of all His true disciples. He states in a few words all the great truths of the association of the believer with the Lord, which the Holy Spirit brings out so fully in the Epistles. We read of the same association in the Gospel of John, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abides alone; but if it die, it bears much fruit. He that loves his life shall lose it, and he that hates his life in this world shall keep it to life eternal. If any one serve me, let him follow me; and where I am there also shall be my servant" (John 12:24-26). Of course there is an immeasurable difference between Him and the believer. He alone could drink the cup, and yet the path He went is our path. In the third chapter of Joshua we read of the passage of God's people over Jordan. The ark of the covenant led the way and all the people followed. Between the ark and the people, however, was maintained the space of two thousand cubits. And yet they all followed after. It is the type for us. He has made the way and we follow Him. "For to this have ye been called; for Christ also has suffered for you, leaving you a model that ye should follow in His steps" (1 Pet. 2:21). But how little of the denial of self and the losing of the life is known in these days. Many are, no doubt, believers in the Lord Jesus Christ; but do they follow Him? Is His path ours, too? It is not only possible to believe in the Lord and not follow Him, but it is the most common thing we see today about us. If we are loyal to Him in a world which has rejected Him and which is unchanged, we shall share His rejection. We may not be called upon in these days to lay down our lives for His sake, but we should be willing for it, should it become again a test of following Him. Surely as we desire to follow Him and He is before us, we shall find abundant occasion to deny ourselves and take up our cross. In the degree we look upon Him, our adorable Lord, and He is the object of our affection, in that degree shall we be obedient to Him, deny self and take up the little cross. It will be a pleasure, a joy and a blessing then. As the martyrs went to the stake with singing or faced the wild animals with holy laughter and praises on their lips, so shall we praise Him for the little suffering with Him in these evil days. ("Take up his cross. These words are not to be understood as meaning that we should choose a cross. Begin only with self-denial and then the cross will come of itself. He says 'his cross'; for He does not teach that we should bear the identical cross which He bore. Everyone's cross has been prepared according to the measure of each one's strength" (1 Cor. 10:13). -- Martin Luther on the Gospels.)
Verses
- Romans 12:2And be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of [your] mind, that ye may prove what [is] the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
- Proverbs 3:5–65Confide in Jehovah with all thy heart, and lean not unto thine own intelligence; 6in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he will make plain thy paths.
- Jeremiah 17:9The heart is deceitful above all things, and incurable; who can know it?
- Galatians 2:20I am crucified with Christ, and no longer live, I, but Christ lives in me; but [in] that I now live in flesh, I live by faith, the [faith] of the Son of God, who has loved me and given himself for me.
- 1 Corinthians 11:1Be my imitators, even as I also [am] of Christ.
- 1 Corinthians 10:31Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatever ye do, do all things to God's glory.
- Philippians 2:3–53[let] nothing [be] in the spirit of strife or vain glory, but, in lowliness of mind, each esteeming the other as more excellent than themselves; 4regarding not each his own [qualities], but each those of others also. 5For let this mind be in you which [was] also in Christ Jesus;