Whoso hath found a wife hath found a good thing, and hath obtained favour from Jehovah.
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Setting
Proverbs 18:22 — "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord" — sets a husband's discovery of a true wife alongside the Lord's own grace, framing marriage not as a transaction but as a gift bestowed by God Himself.
A Wife Is "Found," Not Bought
The verse uses the language of finding, and the commentaries press hard on this. Marriage cannot be reduced to a contract or a price; it is a relationship of grace. Commenting on Rebekah's giving, where there was no haggling but simply recognition of the Lord's hand:
Leslie M. GrantMarriage is a relationship of grace. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor (grace) from the Lord" (Prov.18:22). To pay for a wife therefore is an insult to her and contrary to God's word.
The contrast surfaces sharply with Jacob, who paid seven years' wages for Rachel — treating her as if her worth could be priced:
Leslie M. GrantProverbs 31:10 says "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies". What was the price in this case? Seven years wages; it was all completely wrong, a wife is worth a lot more than that, far more. "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord" (Prov.18:22) (favour is grace). So the marriage relationship beautifully represents the pure grace of God. This is something that should never have been so badly mishandled by Jacob… many nations have acted similarly and sell their daughters, the husbands paying a dowry when they marry. In reality this is the selling of the woman.
"Favour" Is Grace from the Lord
The Hebrew word the KJV renders "favour" is the very word for grace — the marriage union is therefore a token of unearned divine kindness. A man does not earn or deserve a true wife; she is given to him. This is why the verse pairs the good thing with the favour of the Lord — both are mercies, not achievements.
The Sacred and God-Given Character of Marriage
Other commentators expand the same thought into the New Testament's view of the home. Marriage is sacred precisely because it is God's gift, and gifts are received with thanksgiving:
J T MawsonThere can be no question as to the sacred character of the marriage tie or that it is God's gift to those who enter into it, for 1 Timothy 4:4 states that it is to be received with thanksgiving, and we give thanks for a gift, and if it is God's gift it must be sacred. And further it is sanctified by the Word of God and prayer… Grace is needed to soften and mould us, and we need direction from God, and dependence upon Him — these we find in the Word of God and prayer. God is acknowledged in the relationship in this way and so His blessing is secured and He is glorified.
The same intimacy that can be a scene of beauty can also turn painful when grace is missing — the relationship requires the Lord Himself as its bond:
J. N. DarbyGod has formed these relationships, and that whosoever fears God will respect them. Grace is requisite. They give occasion, through their intimacy itself, to all that is most painful, if grace does not act in them… If the Lord is the bond in them, if our still closer union with Him forms the strength of our natural relationships, then grace reigns here as elsewhere; and, to those who stand in these relationships, they become a scene for the lovely display of the life of Christ.
The "Good Thing" Pictured at Length
Proverbs 18:22 is, in effect, the seed of which Proverbs 31 is the full flower. The closing chapter of the book paints in detail what this "good thing" actually looks like:
Arno Clemens GaebeleinOne of the proverbs is expanded in this beautiful picture drawn by the Spirit of God: "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor from the LORD." But how few of the modern women reach this ideal! How few among Christian women measure up to it!
The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 stands out in bright relief against the "strange woman" warned of throughout the earlier chapters — so the good thing a man finds is not merely any wife, but the faithful, God-fearing wife whose worth is far above rubies.
Heirs Together of the Grace of Life
For believers, the verse takes on a still deeper colour: husband and wife are not merely joined by earthly favour but are joint-heirs of grace itself.
William KellyHusband and wife, being Christians, are appealed to as in a relationship by grace which shall never pass away. When Christ our life shall be manifested, then shall they exchange the present exposure to sorrow and suffering… for that exceeding weight of glory, into which Christ has entered as our fore-runner.
Summary
- Grace, not price. The "favour" of Proverbs 18:22 is grace — a wife is found and given, never bought; treating her as a purchase insults both her and God's word.
- A good thing. What the verse calls good is unfolded in Proverbs 31's virtuous woman, set in deliberate contrast to the "strange woman" repeatedly warned against earlier in the book.
- God's gift. Marriage is a sacred gift to be received with thanksgiving, sanctified by the Word of God and prayer.
- Grace required. The very intimacy that can display Christ's life can become the scene of deepest pain if grace does not act; the Lord must be the bond.
- Heirs together. For Christians the relationship is doubly one of grace — heirs together of the grace of life that shall never pass away.