If any man come to me, and shall not hate his own father and mother, and wife, and children, and brothers, and sisters, yea, and his own life too, he cannot be my disciple;
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Setting
After the parable of the great supper, where excuses revealed how earthly ties choked God's invitation, the Lord turns to the crowds following Him and lays down the terms of true discipleship. Verse 26 confronts the would-be follower with a love so absolute for Christ that, beside it, the dearest natural affections look like hatred.
The Lord's Warning Against Self-Flattery
Having just exposed those who refused the supper because of marriage, oxen and land, Jesus now turns the lens on the multitudes pressing after Him.
William KellyThey might have thought that at any rate they would treat the Lord better than His message — so little does man know of himself. The Lord would not permit that the multitude then following Him should flatter themselves... that they were incapable of treating God with the contempt described in the parable. So the Lord tells them what following Himself involves.
"Hate" — the Force of the Word
The hatred required is not bitterness toward family, but the refusal to let any natural tie hold the place that belongs to Christ alone.
William KellyThe disciple must follow Christ so simply and decidedly that it would seem to other eyes a complete neglect of natural ties, and an indifference to the nearest and strongest claims of kin. Not that the Lord calls for want of affection; but so it might and must look to those who are left behind in His name. The attractive power of grace must be greater than all natural fetters, or any other claims of whatsoever kind, over him who would be His disciple.
Another commentary makes the same point from the side of the new nature in the believer:
MagazinesThis is not the old nature hating, but the divine nature in the believer hating in ourselves, or in those nearest and dearest to us, anything that would hinder us from following the Lord or carrying out His will. The divine nature that loves is the nature that hates, even as it is written concerning our Master, "Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity" (Heb. 1:9).
And put plainly: "It is well and good for us to love our families; but the point is that the Lord must have the first place." Michael Hardt
Lawful Things Can Become a Snare
The very ties God Himself ordained for blessing can blind the soul if they are set before Christ.
MagazinesA man may be engrossed in what is perfectly lawful, and thus become spiritually blind... He touches here the greatest earthly blessings, and shows that they may be a real hindrance; for a disciple follows Christ from earth to heaven NOW (and not when he dies merely), and we cannot be truly His disciples here unless we come into this scene from the place from which HE came.
Forsaking All, Then Carrying the Cross
The Lord presses two requirements together — verse 26 strips us of every rival claim, verse 27 binds us to a daily cross.
William KellyThus in verse 26 we see the forsaking of all for Christ, and in verse 27 the following Him.
He immediately drives this home with the parables of the tower-builder and the king going to war:
William KellyThe Lord does not hide the difficulties of the way... Undoubtedly it is a great thing to follow Jesus to heaven, but then, it costs something in this world. It is not all joy; but it is well and wise to look at the other side also... A man should be prepared for the worst that man and Satan can do... but then to refuse Jesus and His call to follow, not to be His disciple, is to be lost for ever.
A Pattern Already Seen in Levi
The principle is not new — the tribe of Levi had once enacted it under the law:
C. H. MackintoshIt might have appeared unwarrantably harsh and severe in Levi not to have seen his parents or known or acknowledged his brethren. But God's claims are paramount; and our Lord Christ has declared these solemn words, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother..."
Summary
- Not literal hatred. The Lord does not call for "want of affection" but for an attachment to Himself so supreme that natural ties look like nothing beside it.
- The new nature hates. It is the divine nature in the believer refusing in self or loved ones whatever would hinder following Christ — the same nature that "loved righteousness, and hated iniquity."
- Lawful blessings can blind. Family, marriage, life itself are God-given goods, yet they may rob the soul of heavenly blessing if they take Christ's place.
- Two clauses, one path. Verse 26 demands forsaking all; verse 27 demands carrying the cross daily — coming to Him once is not enough.
- Count the cost. Following Jesus to heaven costs something on earth; refusing the call, however, is to be "lost for ever."