As a lovely hind and a graceful roe, let her breasts satisfy thee at all times be thou ravished continually with her love.
Chapter 5 has warned a son about the "strange woman," whose words are sweet but whose end is bitter. Now it turns to the wife he already has, and the warning becomes a call to delight — the same heart that evil can capture is told to be captured by good.
The bond and its centre
The verses from 15 onward do more than forbid. One writer sees the father guarding the relationship itself, because God formed it to hold the heart in one place.
The father insists on the close maintenance of the relationship itself, in contrast to the breaking of it. God has formed it as a bond and a centre of affections. And even in human affections it is a great thing to have a centre, so that the heart is united in itself there. This is affection in righteousness, according to God's mind. So conscience does not fight the heart and make it evil and wilful. Instead God's authority and creative will approve it, so that His blessing can be enjoyed in it.
The same writer explains the word "strange." It marks what lies outside the bond God Himself formed.
"Strange" is an important word, and it is used often. All gods that are not Jehovah are strange gods; fire not from the altar was strange fire. It means what does not belong to us — what falls outside the relationship God has given us. God made them male and female: "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." That is the closest possible relationship, as belonging to him.
A command, not a concession
One commentator notes who this call to a single love came through. He also objects to words that older translations add at the start of verse 19.
It is striking that the man who went wrong in public by adding so many wives and concubines should be the one inspired to commend a single object of married love. The words that translators added at the start of verse 19 are not only unnecessary; they weaken the sense. To be cheerful in public and gloomy at home is thankless and unholy. "Let marriage," the Apostle urges, "be honourable in all things." As the Authorized Version stands, the words read like a stamp of approval. It is really a call to hold the tie in honour, and that in every respect.
The imagery of the deer
The picture of the deer is not decoration. It tells us what this wife is like.
Marriage is "held in honour among all" (Heb. 13:4). It is a normal blessing God has provided in creation. Yet some may be richly blessed by staying single for the glory of God. Still, it is a wonderful blessing from God that believers may rejoice with the wife of their youth (v. 18). And the wife is likened to "a loving deer and a graceful doe" — gentle, sensitive animals that are lovely to watch.
The satisfaction itself is God's gift, and a satisfied husband is not drawn elsewhere.
How gracious God is to give a believer a wife whose breasts satisfy him at all times, and whose love gives him deep joy (v. 19). Then no other would attract him at all — least of all one who has no moral worth (v. 20).
One word, two directions
One word ties verse 19 to verse 20, and both to the warning at the end of the chapter.
It has been pointed out that the word "shall go astray" is the same word translated "ravished" in a good sense in verse 19 and in a bad sense in verse 20. This last prepares for what verse 23 calls for, especially when we compare Proverbs 26:11, "a fool repeats his folly." It is a departure that always goes on from bad to worse.
Being carried away is not the problem. What carries you away decides everything.
The owner of the heart
One writer takes the warning further. He hears in verse 20 a bid for love that belongs to Christ.
These verses warn us against the danger of our affections going astray. The verses before this appeal encourage us to give our whole affection to the One who has a right to it. This strange woman will make a bid to secure our affections, to which Christ only has a right.
Summary
- Centre. God formed marriage as a bond and a centre. The heart is gathered into one place instead of scattered.
- Sanction. God's own authority approves that bond. So conscience does not fight the heart, and the love carries His blessing.
- Honour. The verse is not a grudging permission. It calls a husband to hold the tie in honour — cheerful in public and gloomy at home is thankless.
- Satisfaction. The loving deer and graceful doe picture God's gift: a love so satisfying that no other attracts. God does not kill desire; He fills it.
- Direction. One word covers verse 19 and verse 20. A heart will be carried away by something, so the wise man gives it to the one who has a right to it.