She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and upon her tongue is the law of kindness.
The closing verses of Proverbs paint a portrait of a woman of worth. After her hands, her household and her clothing, the writer turns to her mouth — to what fills her speech and what governs it.
What Her Speech Leaves Out
Her wisdom shows first in what is missing from her speech:
Foolish talk and joking were unknown to her. She took no part in idle gossip or useless conversation. Instead, her words of wisdom brought grace to others. There was nothing hard or stern about her, for kindness flowed from her tongue to everyone around.
When She Opens Her Mouth
The verse says she opens her mouth. One writer finds a balance in that:
We have already seen that this precious soul is a worker, not a talker. Yet there is a lovely moral balance here. She knows how to give "a word in season", so when she does open her mouth, it is to speak words of wisdom. This compares with 1 Peter 4:11: "whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God." If we obeyed this instruction, how much evil and emptiness we would avoid, and how much good we would do!
Why Kindness Is Called a "Law"
Calling kindness a law sounds strange. The same writer explains what kind of law it is. (The ESV renders the phrase "the teaching of kindness"; the older translation these writers use has "the law of kindness.")
"The law of kindness" on her tongue is no doubt a deliberate contrast to "the law of commandments expressed in ordinances" (Eph. 2:15). Legality has no place at all in her character: her words of grace match her gracious actions. If this is called a "law," it simply shows that it is her settled principle of conduct. It is far from looseness and from indulging evil, but it is firm in kind consideration of the needs of others.
Kind, But Not Soft
Kind words can slide into flattery. Another writer sets the verse between two faults of speech:
Her speech is in all wisdom — there is "no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place." But though her conversation is pure, she is not harsh; for "the law of kindness" is on her tongue. Her conversation is always in grace, yet seasoned with salt. There is a way of speaking that stabs like a sword. On the other hand, there is a way of speaking that is all honey. This favoured woman avoids both extremes. She is kind in manner and tone, yet she never winks at wrong or sin, or smooths it over.
The Verse Applied to Teaching
The New Testament asks older women to teach what is good. One writer uses this verse to say what that teaching is:
Set next to "not slanderers" and "not enslaved to much wine," it seems to mean that what older women say and pass on should be good and wholesome (as in Proverbs 31:26). This phrase does not describe a woman teaching "standing in front of an audience" or "behind a lectern" or "presenting the Word of God." That would contradict 1 Timothy 2:12, and no New Testament example shows it. It refers more to practical teaching, not the exposition of the Word of God.
A Larger Picture Behind the Portrait
Verses 10–31 form an acrostic: each verse starts with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. One writer sees a larger meaning in that design:
Christ Himself is "the Alpha and the Omega" (the A to Z, in English). He exhausts human language, as it were, in the effort to tell the infinite glories of His person — His moral excellences, together with His might, His majesty, His dominion, His grace, His justice and His truth. And here, in this description of the one who is meant to represent His church, His bride, the whole alphabet is run through to express her moral and household virtues and her excellence as a woman.
Summary
- Silence first. Gossip, empty talk and crude joking are absent. What she leaves out comes first.
- Wisdom next. She is a worker, not a talker. When she does open her mouth, she gives a word in season, as one who speaks the words of God.
- Kindness as law. Kindness on her tongue is a settled principle, not a rule forced on her. It is the opposite of legality, yet it never indulges evil.
- Salt with the honey. Her words are neither a sword-thrust nor all honey. She is gentle in tone, yet she never smooths over sin.
- Reach. Older women teach what is good with such words. Read as a picture of Christ's church, this verse makes a wise, kind tongue a public good, not a private virtue.