A false man soweth contention; and a talebearer separateth very friends.
This verse sets two troublemakers side by side. One is dishonest, and strife follows him wherever he goes. The other only whispers — yet that quiet talk can split close friends apart in a way open attack never could.
Who the whisperer is
The verse does not describe an argument or an open attack. One writer explains how a whisperer works: he talks to other people, never to the person concerned.
But the ungodly man will go on being perverse (v. 28). His actions and his words sow strife wherever he has any influence. The "whisperer" in this verse talks behind a person's back about that person's failures, or imagined failures. He wants to undermine people's confidence in him, and of course this leads to separations between friends. What contemptible work!
The report need not even be true. "Imagined failures" do the same work.
Why a whisper works
A hint dropped in a willing ear does not attack a friendship head-on. It poisons the trust the friendship rests on.
Most of the sorrows between people, or even between brothers and sisters, start with a hint dropped behind someone's back, or a whispered story that other hearts are ready to listen to. Distrust springs up between souls. Once distrust starts, dislike follows — and most of all in the person who did the wrong. It is very hard to trust a heart you have wronged.
Wounds that do not heal
The split this verse names is not always temporary. Another proverb — quoted here from an older translation — calls a talebearer's words wounds, and one writer explains why these wounds last longer than others.
"The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." That describes exactly how the soul normally reacts to a talebearer's words. They are deep, internal wounds — the Hebrew word means "to burn in." Such wounds go so deep that they may never be forgotten, while other kinds of wrong may soon be put out of mind. Talebearing can easily lead to a permanent split between God's people.
Another writer notes that such talk has no purpose beyond the talking itself:
Even if such words were strictly true, which they rarely are, they do harm in every way, and they come under the condemnation of evil speaking. They completely lack any moral purpose or loving manner. At best it is gossip. Mostly it is just the pleasure of talking about things that right feeling would rather keep quiet.
How God rates the offence
One writer ties this sin to a list of things God hates — and to the death of Christ.
Divisions among the children of God do not come from God. They come from the flesh and the devil, and they delight a mocking world. "One who sows discord among brothers" is one of the seven things God detests; He hates that man (Prov. 6:19). No wonder, since Jesus died to make His people one and to bring them into harmony with God.
The opposite behaviour
Proverbs sets the whisperer against someone who covers a wrong instead of repeating it.
"Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends" (Proverbs 17:9). To cover an offense does not mean to ignore sin. To act in the spirit of love towards someone who has sinned is Christ-like. To repeat the matter, gossip about it, and harp on someone's shortcomings and failure, is Satan-like — for he is the accuser of the brothers and sisters.
As another writer puts it, love handles the fault instead of spreading news of it:
Love is far from being indifferent to sin; but love does not necessarily expose sins, or gloat over the failure of others. If possible, love will deal with sins privately, so that they do not needlessly become public. When they are dealt with, and judged, love will no longer speak of them or spread them abroad.
The practical rule
The cure turns on direction: speak to the person, not about them.
If we have to oppose a brother, it should be to his face, and not behind his back. Too often the opposite happens. The man they judge guilty is the last to hear of it, and even then only in a roundabout way, while other people freely discuss and debate his supposed errors. All this is wrong. If we have anything to say to a brother, let us go and say it to his own face first. Let us say nothing behind his back that we would not say to his face.
Summary
- Method — The whisperer talks to others, never to the person. He reports failures, real or imagined, and trust breaks down.
- Effect — The hint breeds distrust, distrust breeds dislike, and the wound burns in so deep it may never be forgotten.
- Verdict — Sowing discord is one of the seven things God hates, since Christ died to make His people one.
- Contrast — Repeating a matter is the accuser's work. Covering it, while still dealing with it in private, is love's way.
- Cure — Say nothing behind a person's back you would not say to their face.