Hope deferred maketh the heart sick; but the desire [that] cometh to pass is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12 sets two states of the heart side by side: waiting that drags on and longing that arrives at last. Behind it stand harder questions. Why does God delay? What does the delay do to us? And which desires can we safely set our hearts on?
"Deferred": hope stretched out
One writer traces the word behind "deferred" to a root that means stretching something out:
In Prov. 13:12 it is used of hope prolonged or deferred. Other forms of the same word occur often in the Bible, and mean to draw (literally or figuratively), stretch out, continue.
Both halves are true to life
The proverb states a fact anyone can verify from their own experience, and it comes with a safeguard for what we allow ourselves to want:
Next we are told of the blight created by disappointment, and the cheer given by receiving what the heart sought. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick; but when desire comes, it is a tree of life." Some may have proved both experiences, and know how true it is. But we do well in the things of this life to judge our thoughts and desires before God by His Word, and ever to say in truth, "Your will be done."
What the sickness does
The sickness reaches the body too. One writer describes what a delayed hope does to a person:
"Hope deferred," we read, "makes the heart sick." And it is more than possible for that sickness to depress the spirit so much that hands begin to hang down, and knees become feeble.
The prophet Daniel is an example. One writer shows what a long stretch of trouble did to him, and what he did about it:
Hope deferred makes the heart sick. The prospect of long oppression cast Daniel into the depths of despair (Dan. 8:27). But he was not altogether without resource, for he gave himself to the word of God and to prayer.
Not slow, never late
A heart sick with waiting can read God's silence as neglect. One writer answers that, commenting on a cry in Psalm 119:
Do we detect a note of impatience? "When will You comfort me?" Had he not been hoping in His word? (v. 81). Why does the Lord not act quickly? "Hope deferred makes the heart sick…" (Prov. 13:12). Do not let yourself be discouraged by appearances. Peter said: "The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise…" (2 Peter 3:9). We sometimes want to limit the Lord to our time. Sometimes we cannot see the reason for a particular thing. But we should leave everything in His hands. He is never too late.
The purpose behind the waiting
One writer applies the proverb to the hope of the Lord's return, then gives the delay a reason:
[Meeting the Lord] may be more distant than our hope would have it, and hope deferred should make the heart sick. But the delay is not for the purpose of sickening the hearts of saints, but for saving the souls of sinners. "The longsuffering of God is salvation." We should remember this at every moment of the delay, be it long or short. And our patience should be unmurmuring, as God's patience is saving and gracious.
Which desires may be counted on
The second half of the verse promises life to the desire that arrives — but not every desire carries that promise:
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick" (v. 12). How many believers have entertained the hope that the Lord would come before now! If their hearts are sick, they need only to trust the perfect wisdom of God, to have their hopes conformed to His will. "But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life." This will indeed be true of the Lord's coming. But we cannot count on it if our desires are for vain things.
The certainty behind the delay
God is not waiting because He has lost interest. He is unhurried because He is sure:
God is not like man. He can wait for the completion of the work in which His whole heart and mind are engaged. Nothing can slow or speed His steps on the path He has chosen… The thing we have long expected has not yet arrived, and perhaps we looked for it with some impatience. Hope deferred tends to make the heart sick. But our desire shall come, and when it does come we shall find it "a tree of life" (Prov. 13:12). God is more interested in the completion of the things purposed in His love than we are.
Summary
- Deferred, not denied. The word means hope drawn out and prolonged — stretched, but still standing.
- Stretched hearts weaken. Long waiting depresses the spirit until hands hang down and knees grow feeble. Daniel shows both the wound and the cure: he sank into despair, then gave himself to the word of God and prayer.
- Delay is not slowness. We try to hold the Lord to our clock; He is never too late.
- The delay has a purpose. It is not to sicken the hearts of His people but to save souls — so patience should be without complaint.
- The desire comes. Hopes shaped by His will end in a tree of life; hopes set on empty things carry no such promise.