but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord.
Paul is writing to Philemon about Onesimus, a runaway slave who has come to faith while Paul is in prison. Paul would like to keep him, but he sends him back, because he will not take what Philemon has not given willingly.
A right Paul refused to use
Paul had every reason to keep Onesimus, and would likely have got his way if he asked.
Arthur E. GoodwinHe greatly wanted to keep Onesimus with him. He was an old man, he was in prison, though still able to serve the Lord in the gospel and in other ministry. For those reasons, and for personal reasons too, he would have valued the help of a younger man. Suppose Paul had decided to keep Onesimus. Philemon would have heard of Paul's circumstances, and would no doubt have agreed to his wish. He would have weighed Paul's need, and remembered too that Paul was an apostle. But no! That would not have been righteous. That would not have been a brotherly way to treat Philemon. Philemon needed the chance to show his own spirit of love and grace, and to show it not because he had to, but willingly. The Lord deals with us the same way. He delights when our response to Him is willing.
"Without your consent"
The phrase is simple. It carries no hint of distance between the two men.
J. N. DarbyFirst, "without your consent," Philemon 14. Here there was no question of drawing a line of separation. It simply means he would not act apart from Philemon.
Why a forced kindness is no kindness
If Paul had kept Onesimus and told Philemon later, Philemon could only agree to something already settled.
Arno Clemens GaebeleinHe would have liked to keep Onesimus at his side in Rome. Onesimus would have done for Paul all that Philemon himself would have done, had Philemon been there. But without Philemon's consent Paul would do nothing. That way his action would not be forced by what Paul had done; it would be voluntary.
Love is holy and free
Paul had already seen grace work in the slave. He waits for it to work in the master too.
William KellyLove is of God, but it is always holy and always free. So Paul took care that everything should flow through Philemon's heart, moved by the Spirit, to Christ's honour. His grace had been magnified in the slave: could he look for anything else in the master?
Grace that gives up its own claims
People often use grace as a lever against others. Grace works the other way.
William KellyGrace forms a delicate feeling and a sense of what is fitting, and both are exquisite. Nothing upholds what is right so much as grace. While it gives up its own dues, it upholds the dues of others! This matters greatly for our souls. Sadly, the opposite is what we usually see. A person abuses grace by using it to humble someone else. The use of grace is to humble oneself, and to show all godly respect to everyone else in our place.
How God asks things of us
The same principle reaches our own obedience to God.
The Bible TreasuryHow deeply that soul must have known fellowship with Christ, to be able to say "not by compulsion"! And how little we know of His grace when we put our obedience on the ground of duty, instead of seeing it as the unfolding of the life within us. Paul knew that Philemon had this life in union with Christ. That is the life he sought to stir into action. Then obedience would be willing, natural, and easy.
Hearts changed, not arms twisted
Paul leaves Onesimus's future in Philemon's hands. That is how Christianity works on the world at large.
Leslie M. GrantChristianity makes no effort to fix the bad social structure of the world. It makes no effort to fix its political or economic structure either. But it does speak seriously to the heart and conscience of the believer. He can then honour God willingly and gladly in every relationship he stands in. Laws will not change men's hearts. But changed hearts show themselves in changed conduct.
Summary
- Authority held back. Paul had the standing and the need to keep Onesimus. Taking him without asking would not have been righteous or brotherly.
- Consent required. "Without your consent" means Paul would not act apart from Philemon. The decision stayed with the man it belonged to.
- Freedom guarded. A good deed arranged in advance would be forced. Paul leaves it unarranged, so love stays free.
- Grace measured. Grace gives up its own dues while upholding the dues of others; it humbles the one who has it, not the one it is aimed at.
- Willingness produced. Obedience as bare duty is a burden. Obedience flowing from the life within is willing, natural and easy. Changed hearts, not pressure, change conduct.