Then he washed his face and came out. And controlling himself he said, “Serve the food.”
Joseph has just seen his younger brother Benjamin and slipped away to weep where no one could see him. Now he comes back with a washed face, holds himself in, and orders the meal — so why does he still not tell them who he is?
Tears in private, composure in public
The weeping and the washing belong together. Both have one explanation: a family bond only Joseph knew about, and a work in his brothers that was not yet finished.
F. B. HoleA second time Joseph wept when Benjamin, his own full brother, appeared. The tears sprang from a sense of relationship. Benjamin was as yet unaware of that relationship, but Joseph knew, and it moved him beyond words. "His compassion grew warm for his brother, and he sought a place to weep. And he entered his chamber and wept there." The work of conviction and repentance in his brothers had not yet gone deep enough for him to declare that relationship, so "he washed his face and came out" and controlled himself. In this way he exercised patience in his dealings with them.
Love holding itself back
The restraint is not coldness. It is love waiting for the right moment, and the same wisdom appears in the Lord's dealing with the woman at the well.
Hamilton SmithJoseph speaks kindly to them. He yearns in love over his younger brother. He weeps in love in secret, but restrains himself in love, for love's time to reveal itself has not yet come. In the same perfect wisdom the Lord deals with the woman by the well. He does not reveal Himself until He has reached her conscience and everything is out. Then she discovers that she is in the presence of One who knows her whole history. Yet He loves her with such a love that He can say to her, "Come here."
Preparing them for the blessing
Joseph is not only meeting their need for food. He is after something deeper in them.
J. G. BellettHe must prepare not only a blessing for them, but them for a blessing. To bless them with the real blessing he intended, he must lead them to repentance. Everything he does in front of them now serves that purpose. He arranges circumstances so that sorrow may work repentance, but he does not yet show himself. All this may be the way of his hand, but it was not the way of his heart. In secret, unknown to them, he enters into the very sorrows he is causing. He would not have put on this rough manner if he could have helped it. His love must therefore be firm and wise, as well as tender.
Why a meal, and not a confession
Instead of telling them, Joseph feeds them. The seating order and the unexpected kindness both work on their conscience.
J. G. BellettBut kindness or roughness works alike on a guilty conscience. To the defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure. A shaken leaf might well frighten the brothers now, for conscience had made cowards of them all. "And the men were afraid because they were brought to Joseph's house." … Joseph seats them before him, "the firstborn according to his birthright and the youngest according to his youth." They marvel at one another, as they eat and are merry. Joseph was wisely calling in every feeling of the mind and weaving them together — wonder with fear, gratitude with joy. His aim was a thorough renewal leading to repentance.
There is a limit to what the meal can give them.
Hamilton SmithIn the enjoyment of all this favour, "they drank and were merry with him," but they must learn other lessons before he can be merry with them. They are rejoicing in his gifts, but they have yet to rejoice in himself.
When the holding back ends
The restraint had an end. When the moment came, Joseph held nothing back.
William KellyJoseph could not, would not, hold out any longer. Without delay he yields to his pent-up affection. So that he might do this freely and fully, he ordered every attendant to leave his presence. … Earlier he sought to weep apart and held himself in. Now he gave vent to his feelings without measure, so that their fears might go and they might be sure of the love that was always in his heart.
The testing never meant less love.
Andrew MillerJoseph did not love his brothers any less because he let them pass through a trying, sifting process. His heart was full. It was ready to burst out in expressions of the strongest affection when the right moment came. It will be the same with the Lord and Israel, just before He reveals Himself in power and glory for their complete deliverance and the full showing of His love as their own Messiah.
Summary
- Tears — Joseph wept over a bond Benjamin did not yet know about. The feeling was real; he hid it on purpose.
- Washing — the washed face was patience, not indifference. The work of repentance in his brothers had not yet gone deep enough.
- Restraint — he restrains himself in love, because love's time to reveal itself had not yet come.
- Preparing — he was not only giving them food. He was preparing them for a blessing, and that road ran through repentance.
- Release — the restraint had a limit. What Joseph holds back here bursts out later, so their fear goes and they know the love that was in his heart all along.