forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any should have a complaint against any; even as the Christ has forgiven you, so also [do] *ye*.
Paul has just told the Colossians to put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience. This verse turns those qualities toward the people who irritate and wound us, and it sets one standard for both bearing and forgiving: the Lord's own forgiveness of us.
Two duties, two different troubles
The verse names two things, not one. Commentators tell them apart by what provokes each.
Long-suffering has more to do with trying circumstances. Bearing with one another has to do with trying people. We rightly speak of a person showing great forbearance when provoked. This provocation may be general — something that calls for the forbearance of all. There may also be personal wrongs, which would give the one wronged just cause for complaint. Such personal wrongs call for forgiveness. The measure of the forgiveness is to be even as Christ forgave us.
Bearing with each other: a two-way duty
The phrase points both ways, and that changes who we picture in the sentence.
To bear with the other does not only mean carrying the burdens of others. It also means bearing with their weaknesses. This is exactly what the Lord Jesus did with His disciples. They had a lot of flaws, but He was ready to bear with them. It may even be that we must bear with the brother himself if he has become a burden to others. And we should not forget that Paul says: "bearing with one another." This is not a one-way street. Today, I may be the one who must do this; tomorrow, others may have to bear with me.
The measure: as the Lord has forgiven you
The clause "as the Lord has forgiven you" is not decoration. It supplies the pattern, and that pattern has a clear shape.
This may be the most difficult of these instructions. It assumes that my brother (or my sister) has sinned against me. How did our Lord react when they nailed Him to that shameful and cruel cross? He prayed for His enemies: "Father, forgive them" (Luke 23:34). He sets the example. So our standard is: "as Christ has forgiven us"! And how has He forgiven us? First, He did it completely. Second, He did it at once. Third, He did it willingly — from the depths of His heart… To forgive means to grant the grace to take something away. So the one who forgives shows grace, and the one forgiven receives it.
The wording "if one has a complaint against another" is also read broadly, beyond one person and one grudge.
There is to be forgiveness should there be occasion to blame another. The wording "any … against any" perhaps covers not only individual complaints but difficulties that may arise between families and so on.
Where the power comes from
The command looks impossible until we remember our own debt.
I do not say this lightly. When believers live and walk together there are sometimes difficulties. Something a brother or a sister does may hurt us deeply, and we say, "I cannot forgive this." On our own we cannot forgive. But we can when we realise how much God has forgiven us in Christ… Does this not sometimes happen among believers? We have been forgiven such a great debt in Christ, and yet we are sometimes unable to forgive our brother or sister.
Forgiveness carried in the heart, expressed at repentance
One writer separates the forgiveness we carry inside from the moment we say it out loud.
We must always keep a spirit of forgiveness. Whenever we have a complaint against anyone, we must hold him in our hearts as already forgiven. And we learn when to speak that forgiveness out loud: when the person we blame confesses the sin.
What refusing costs
One writer starts from how far His forgiveness reaches, then names what refusing to forgive costs.
Think of the measure of His forgiveness. He has not only pardoned all our sin and hostility against Himself. He has made us members of His body… He can have nothing against us for ever, since we are members of His body. How could the head of a body keep up a quarrel with any member of it, or hold hard feelings against it?… But we are also members of one another. To be unforgiving, impatient and hard toward one another denies in practice the whole truth of the body of Christ. To be unforgiving upsets everything. It blocks all joy and progress, grieves the Holy Spirit, dishonours the Lord and delights the devil.
Love, the spring of it all
One more quality is added to the list, and it is the spring of everything else.
We are to add love to the mercy, the kindness, and all the other qualities. All these blessed activities of the new man are to spring from love. If we show mercy, or kindness, or forbearance, or forgiveness, it should be because we love our brother.
Summary
- Forgiven first — we cannot forgive on our own. The power comes from seeing how great a debt God has already cancelled for us in Christ.
- Two garments — bearing with one another covers trying people and their weaknesses. Forgiving covers personal wrongs.
- Christ's measure — He forgave completely, at once, and willingly. Nothing lower is the pattern for us.
- Heart ready — hold the offender as forgiven in your heart at once. Say the words when the wrong is confessed.
- Love binds — mercy, kindness, patience and forgiveness are only real when they spring from love.